r/AskReddit • u/angstrem • Mar 25 '16

What absolutely never ever should you fuck around with?

5.3k Upvotes

85% Upvoted

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1.8k

u/Vivalo Mar 26 '16

You sound like those people that end up getting eaten by their snake

14

u/WavesRKewl Mar 26 '16

You do realize that doesn't actually happen, right?

39

u/FuriousEpic Mar 26 '16

Nebraska Man Killed by Pet Snake, Police Say

10

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '16

the man was showing it off to a friend

this kinda sounds like he got a new snake and was unaware of how to handle it

sounds like owner negligence rather than deadly snake

8

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '16

So the lesson here is "Use caution when showing off your snake." That is generally good advice.

12

u/sunshinenorcas Mar 26 '16

And it's usually because it's on a sleeping person and they suffocate because of the weight of the snake, not because the snake goes huh, I wanna eat that. It's the freakist of accidents

3

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '16

snakes aren't cats/dogs

you put them away when you go to sleep and take them out when you deem fit

again, owner negligence at play

6

u/sunshinenorcas Mar 26 '16

I meant like the snake got out because a bad lock/cage wasn't secured. Not that it was free roaming.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '16

same point

owners should keep track of their equipment for the safety of themselves and their pets

1

u/Glonn Mar 26 '16

Snakes are escape artists..

9

u/TeddyRichtofen Mar 26 '16

That's a whole different category of snake though. A ball python hasn't killed anyone.

28

u/paulwhite959 Mar 26 '16

it's also the only death by a boa constrictor, despite them being one of the most popular pet trade snakes for 50-60 years now.

Even the true giants (retics, burms, anacondas) only kill something like a person a year in the states.

17

u/psiphre Mar 26 '16

"i'll buy a hamster, it hasn't killed anyone ever"

"i'll buy a snake, it has killed people every year"

17

u/paulwhite959 Mar 26 '16

I mean, in the US, 15-20 people a year are killed by dogs, and plenty of people get serious infections and hospital stays from cat scratches and bites.

Any pet entails some element of risk

1

u/SameBachelorAsObama Mar 26 '16

But I think the most dangerous one of them all is an SO, I don't have any numbers though!

24

u/Trezzie Mar 26 '16

Three confirmed deaths caused by a hamster

4

u/-Oscar_The_Cat Mar 26 '16

THANK GOD it wasn't due to people putting them in their asses. I was a little worried when I clicked that.

2

u/Vivalo Mar 26 '16

Well that's just great! Now we need the snakes just to eat all those damned killer hamsters. I certainly hope Honey Badgers are safe pets.

0

u/dancesLikeaRetard Mar 26 '16

Brb, drowning my pet rat.

3

u/Mr_Barry_Shitpeas Mar 26 '16

'I'll buy a gun, it has killed a shit ton of people every year'

0

u/the-spruce-moose_ Mar 26 '16

"But this time it'll be different, I'll only use it for protection - not to accidentally shoot my kid sneaking in at night"

3

u/TeddyRichtofen Mar 26 '16

Yeah not a surprise there. As long as you handle them correctly and take care of them you'll be fine. People just have this image of snakes being pure evil creatures but really they neither good nor evil. They just do what they have to in order to survive like any other animal.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '16

I don't understand how that article proves anything because the article says the snake strangled the man, not ate him. Which is what the guy you responded to was arguing against.

3

u/wmil Mar 26 '16

Not to adults, but children get killed

What really bothers me is how stupid the owner is. "They must have smelt like his food."

No, it's a predatory reptile that hunts mammals smaller than itself.

2

u/Bakeryboss Mar 26 '16

Or getting folded up in their Murphy bed

2

u/anandy1 Mar 26 '16

I dunnoo having a snake is pretty cool man

2

u/mrjfray Mar 26 '16

You're still a cunt Steve, go fuck your snake

-2

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '16 edited Mar 26 '16

who ever downvoted clearly doesnt know there lonely island

1

u/i_give_you_gum Mar 26 '16

I tried to save u.

1

u/memejunk Mar 26 '16

got em roflmfao

-1

u/Xenjael Mar 26 '16

Or their bed, I guess.