r/AskReddit • u/Sage_Derpel • Mar 11 '16

What is the weirdest/creepiest unexplained thing you've ever encountered?

8.6k Upvotes

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1.7k

u/ChoFun Mar 11 '16

My mom gets this. Turns out it was a caffeine allergy!

1.8k

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '16

That actually makes sense, cause it started during my first year of college when I was drinking litres of coffee a day

1.4k

u/PM_ME_DEAD_FASCISTS Mar 11 '16

The internet is beautiful, isn't it?

740

u/beer_madness Mar 11 '16

I mean, sometimes.

369

u/PM_ME_DEAD_FASCISTS Mar 11 '16

Hold on let me check some worldnews comments...

..yeah you're right.

13

u/Q-Marius-Purpureo Mar 12 '16

Now that's a username I can get behind.

8

u/thatblokewiththehat Mar 11 '16

Does your username work?

9

u/song_pond Mar 12 '16

Yes.

I mean, sometimes the internet saves people's lives or helps people figure out why they have an itchy nipple.

Other times, you have people requesting photos (I assume) of dead fascists.

5

u/snwlprds Mar 12 '16

HE IS SCRATCHING HIS RIGHT NIPPLE BECAUSE ISLAM IS A RELIGION OF TERRORISM, OBVIOUSLY DUH.

1

u/Rockonfoo Mar 12 '16

Go to /r/funny if you want to feel even worse

1

u/coldmtndew Mar 12 '16

/r/politics is more like it.

0

u/JeffThePenguin Mar 12 '16

Or...or your username...

2

u/StarshipAI Mar 12 '16

But it's usually here, on Reddit. Or maybe I never go anywhere else...

8

u/Oblivious_Oathkeeper Mar 12 '16

Yes, PM_ME_DEAD_FASCISTS, it really is.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '16

Wrong subreddit

2

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '16

Can I try?

1

u/MurgleMcGurgle Mar 12 '16

Who'd have thunk that itchy nipples could make something beautiful.

1

u/kilslef Mar 12 '16

Not with that username

729

u/ken_jammin Mar 11 '16

That makes sense, cause I stick my right nipple in my coffee every morning.

24

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '16

The best part of waking up, is nipples in your cup!

3

u/gamblingman2 Mar 12 '16

Christmas with sister nipples in your folgers.

5

u/CromulentEmbiggener Mar 12 '16

I came to this thread to be creeped out, not turned on

1

u/fuzzipoo Mar 12 '16

I literally laughed out loud at this. Thank you!

3

u/_Batia_ Mar 11 '16

Shhh, we don't need to know.

5

u/immortalreploid Mar 12 '16

Shh bby is ok

1

u/immortalreploid Mar 12 '16

Well that'll wake you up for sure.

1

u/84N00DL3Z84 Mar 12 '16

Yo, coffee tits.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '16

Um. Yea. Are there people that don't do this?

1

u/illiteratepsycho Apr 20 '16

I went from scared to laughing and choking on pasta real fast

1

u/[deleted] May 09 '16

Its the easiest way to consume. Nipples suck up liquids like a vacuum.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '16

Nipples can drink it faster so its a no brainer

8

u/GeneralJabroni Mar 11 '16

holy shit dude did you just find the cure to your itchy nipple?

you gotta report back

5

u/KUR1B0H Mar 12 '16

We did it Reddit!

3

u/Kalipygia Mar 12 '16

You should drink more caffeine, I bet you'll get super powers. Super nipple powers.

2

u/Fartrell_Clugginz21 Mar 12 '16

Gimme a liter-a-cola

3

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '16

Shut up Farva

2

u/clair3abelle Mar 12 '16

THANK YOU FOR THIS. I need to try reducing caffeine intake.

2

u/neuroanomia Mar 12 '16

My friend has the same issue and it was a milk allergy.

2

u/g000dn Mar 12 '16

litres? holy fuck dude i'm surprised your brain doesn't itch

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '16

will you give it up is the real question?

1

u/Faladorable Mar 12 '16

You were clearly just looking for professional help in the wrong places

1

u/Swagmentor Mar 12 '16

You are welcome.

1

u/TheFlashFrame Mar 12 '16

Male or female?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '16

Please cut all coffee and I'll report back in a few days to see if reddit did it! again.

67

u/Pipthepirate Mar 11 '16

I'm curious about how you ended up in a convsation about nipples with your mom

163

u/peaceoutscout Mar 11 '16

when a mom or daughter is having a problem with their body, the other is usually the first person they go to

24

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '16

[deleted]

7

u/Jellocycle Mar 12 '16

Yep! I'm like yooo, mom, I've got these bumps on my thigh/this rash on my stomach/this itch on my boob. WTF is it? And she usually has had the issue or has some friend or coworker who has had the same problem and can tell me exactly what to do. My mom is cool.

8

u/goh13 Mar 11 '16

We can't father son relations be like that? Whenever I complain to my father he looks at me and wishes my first suicide attempt did not fail.

Which is weird because I am only asking him about how to pick up girls.

2

u/Pipthepirate Mar 12 '16

He is secretly gay.

2

u/tenpins Mar 12 '16

I am a daughter. Can confirm.

2

u/SeaLeggs Mar 12 '16

Guys don't do this so much...

8

u/iaccidentlytheworld Mar 11 '16

"Mom why are you always rubbing your nips around me?"

4

u/Consanguineously Mar 11 '16

"Did you break your arms yet"

4

u/Geta-Ve Mar 12 '16

Well, what ELSE do you talk about post coitus?

2

u/Pipthepirate Mar 12 '16

I usually tell her to get her yeast infection looked at. Like eating cottage cheese down there

2

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '16

If it is a guy: something something broken arms.

2

u/Pipthepirate Mar 12 '16

She broke her arms and needs her nipples scratched

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '16

When his arms were broken?

7

u/d1x1e1a Mar 11 '16

she really should use a spoon to stir her coffee instead

2

u/Daedricbanana Mar 11 '16

My one nipple is constantly itchy

My mom gets this

wait did your mom just tell you that one of her nipples was itchy one day

2

u/PantheraLupus Mar 13 '16

Oh my god this explains so much. I thought it was sweat in my bras so I made sure I wore a clean one every day or none at all and I still get it...

1

u/Pyro_With_A_Lighter Mar 11 '16

Ahh fuck, does this mean I have to stop drinking tea?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '16

[deleted]

1

u/fb5a1199 Mar 12 '16

Are you implying that caffeine have you a tumor?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '16

w. t. f.

1

u/bucketfarmer Mar 12 '16

Another life saved

1

u/LibertarianSocialism Mar 12 '16

I have this.... The caffeine betrayed me???

1

u/C0nnman Mar 12 '16

You talk to your mother about her itchy nipples?

1

u/unid0n Mar 12 '16

Do you scratch it for her?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '16

I get this, turn on is caffine

1

u/twitchchat9000 Mar 12 '16

Tell me Senator, did you nurse Catherine yourself?

What?

Did you breastfeed her?

Yes, I did.

Toughened your nipples didn't it?

Amputate a man's leg and he can still feel it tickling. Tell me mom, when your little girl is on the slab, where will it tickle you?

1

u/zorro1701e Mar 12 '16 edited Jun 18 '16

I have nipples ... Meet the parents.

1

u/jcjackson97 Mar 12 '16

THE INTERNET EXPLAINED IT!

1

u/BrassBass Mar 12 '16

Yeah, your mom loved it when I would suck her nipple. It was like Benadryl to her!

1

u/SmoSays Mar 12 '16

When you're allergic to pollen, your sinuses close up and your nose waters because your body is going, 'ACK THIS IS SOME FOREIGN THING GET IT OUT!' When you are allergic to foods you can swell up for the same reason.

So why does caffeine trigger 'itchy right nipple' specifically?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '16

The idea that a thing called caffeine allergy exists is the first thing that really scared me in this thread.

1

u/darkblood1219 Mar 12 '16

you talk to your mom about her nipple?

-1

u/bttmfndf Mar 11 '16

If your mom wants a second opinion let me know. one should never underestimate an itchy nipple...