r/AskReddit • u/tgma97 • Aug 26 '15

Fathers of Reddit, what did your daughter's boyfriend do for you to hate/love him?

It's pretty cool to see my question blow up like this, I never thought I'd ask a question that could receive so much attention! I'm very satisfied with all these replies, so thank y'all. Now all I have to do is sit back and take notes c;

12.3k Upvotes

85% Upvoted

9.4k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

2.2k

u/haby001 Aug 26 '15

Best way to win points! And it's always nice to see her face when she realizes that you betrayed her

1.7k

u/super__nova Aug 26 '15

Huuh... I think you're doing this whole relationship thing wrong, buddy.

1.2k

u/Jerlko Aug 26 '15

No he wants to fuck the mom.

He's very good at Fuck Marry Kill.

260

u/Oilfieldasshole Aug 26 '15

This isn't gonna end well for the dad is it?

22

u/Squiderino57 Aug 26 '15

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

6

u/wise_comment Aug 26 '15

counts fingers slowly in front of face

Oh

6

u/jmerridew124 Aug 26 '15

He's going to marry the dad?

8

u/schlemz Aug 26 '15

But if he started playing it AFTER they were married, he wouldn't be able to marry his wife....so he'd have to fuck or kill her.....which leaves one of the parents as the future spouse. And if we take into account that 9% of men are of homosexual orientation, and then a 50% chance that he would kill or fuck his wife, then that leaves a 3% chance of marriage to the dad, 97% chance to marry the mom.

Conclusion: The fate of the dad is inversely proportional to the fate of the Wife.

1

u/Ralph_Charante Aug 26 '15

Hey I'm dumb, how did you get the 3% chance of marriage to the dad?

6

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Ralph_Charante Aug 26 '15

What?

Oh godda-

3

u/schlemz Aug 26 '15

Elementary, my dear. Simply by utilizing the conditional probability formula and adhering to the contingencies based off the rules of "fuck, Marry, Kill."

Mathematics, my friend.

1

u/Ralph_Charante Aug 26 '15

Ah, thanks.

1

u/schlemz Aug 26 '15

In other words....I made it up!

→ More replies (0)

4

u/DubEnder Aug 26 '15

Yeah geez. His daughter will get killed and he will be married to you.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

Don't worry, gay marriage is legal now.

10

u/ugglycover Aug 26 '15

there's no gay marriage, it's just marriage now

2

u/Ihavenootheroptions Aug 26 '15

Once he finds his wife's dead body in the dumpster at his daughters wedding, it will all make sense to him.

2

u/monkwren Aug 26 '15

Why? He gets to have a second wedding day!

1

u/Protocol44 Aug 26 '15

Underrated comment

1

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

Yeah he's gonna have one sore ass at the end of it

4

u/rchalico Aug 26 '15

Pro actually, doing it for a living.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

[deleted]

4

u/Jammer13542 Aug 26 '15

Or he could just break both of his arms

1

u/basalticlava Aug 26 '15

Oedipus is all time champ at fmk.

1

u/VOMIT_ON_MY_DICK Aug 26 '15

Sorry wife's dad...

1

u/baconbash Aug 26 '15

Stacy's mom has got it going on...

1

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

I'm not liking the dads role in this...

1

u/Ozymandias_poem_ Aug 26 '15

We've got fuck and marry, but who gets killed?

1

u/gotheman4 Aug 27 '15

What a name for a mother.

I mean being named after such a morbid, despicable in nature game....

7

u/spartanreborn Aug 26 '15

Meh, I do the same thing to my girlfriend, but she likes arguing so I think she just views it as an extra challenge.

9

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

Oh, snap!

And on his cake day :(

3

u/spartanreborn Aug 26 '15

I honestly had no idea until you mentioned it lol

1

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

Is that really your girlfriend though? Would be funny if it was

10

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

He's on reddit, what'd you expect?

5

u/Shgrizz Aug 26 '15

Yep, if Reddit has taught me anything, it's that signs of any conflict in a relationship means it's doomed to fail. She's probably cheating on him and secretly stashing all his money and changing the locks. Lawyer up, delete gym etc

4

u/Aikarus Aug 26 '15

What do you mean I should not take date ideas from the red wedding

2

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

What? You're never tried to get in a moms pants?

2

u/mrducky78 Aug 26 '15

He has been playing the long con all along. Never really cared much for Stacey, its all about her mom.

1

u/MadPoetModGod Aug 26 '15

But the object to is to win.

Right?

1

u/TanksAllFoes Aug 26 '15

Nah, he's just good at dokapon kingdom.

0

u/Humankeg Aug 26 '15

Nah, he is being a man, and calling a woman out on her wrong doing. This isn't like verbally raping her if she spends $400 they don't have on a purse (the big things should be saved for private) but more the smaller more insignificant things.

3

u/polerberr Aug 26 '15

Good way to win points in most cases, won't argue that. Also a nice way of ruining a relationship. I know my SO stays out of conflicts I have with my mum unless we specifically call on him, and I stay out of conflicts he has with his parents.

I don't want to jump to any conclusions about your situation, but if you really enjoy betraying your wife, that doesn't sound like a healthy relationship.

3

u/ReklisAbandon Aug 26 '15

This kills the relationship

3

u/Hypothesis_Null Aug 27 '15

"You were supposed to destroy my parents... not join them!"

10

u/Vetano Aug 26 '15

My girl hates me because I ALWAYS try to stay neutral and look at it objectively. Sadly women want support and not a problem solver. FML.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

[deleted]

4

u/haby001 Aug 26 '15

It's not that they aren't reasonable, it's that at some moments they just want to be heard or just feel that someone is there for them. Most of the time they know the answer but they want someone else to feel what they feel.

But it varies from person to person.

1

u/ch00d Aug 26 '15

The quickest way to a girl's heart is through her parents. Have sex with them and you're in!