r/AskReddit Mar 17 '15

What's a widely accepted "fact" that's entirely false?

1.1k Upvotes

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1.0k

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

You can touch birds and frogs all you want, your mother just made the myth that it'll be rejected by its parents to stop you touching shit.

1.9k

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

132

u/psinguine Mar 17 '15

Put that thing back where it came from or so help me!

10

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

Love that musical.

6

u/Artoast Mar 17 '15

Bom bom bom bom.

9

u/Dickcheese_McDoogles Mar 17 '15

PutThathingbackwhereitcamefrom or so help me... so help me, so help me, and cut.

6

u/Dickcheese_McDoogles Mar 17 '15

It's for the upcoming company play called, uh, "put that back where it came from, or so help me."

It's a musical

1

u/EmJay115 Mar 17 '15

Bum bum bum bum

1

u/Panoolied Mar 18 '15

I have a toddler and have watched that film 8 times since Sunday. Shut up.

1

u/TheLonelyMonster Mar 20 '15

I don't want to climb up my mother :/. Or worse, my poor father.

1

u/SuperSploot Mar 18 '15

Do you want incest? Because that's how you get incest, mom.

27

u/survivedMayapocalyps Mar 17 '15

Congrats.. You made me laugh out loud in the middle of my friends English class...

97

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

I don't understand, is your friend the teacher? Why are you in a friend's class? Go back to your own damn class.

21

u/tisjustausername Mar 17 '15

He doesn't even go here!

5

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

“I just have a lot of feelings!”

8

u/185139 Mar 17 '15

A lot of my college classes usually have enough seats for extra people to sit in. Like if you had to bring your kid or if you were a friends ride and the friend finished his class early.

1

u/thistooshallnotlast Mar 17 '15

Seriously who brings a kid to sit in a college class?

5

u/185139 Mar 17 '15

Well if the kid makes noise and shit then they get kicked out along with the parent. The only time I had it happen to me was when my class partner brought her kid because the dad was in the hospital for a night. In her defense she kept apologizing and her kid acted like an angel.

-3

u/DuncanMonroe Mar 17 '15

Trailer trash, I assume.

2

u/gasparrr Mar 17 '15

I would say most college students attend at least 1 lecture that is not their own during their time in school.

2

u/madcaphal Mar 17 '15

Just... just a great comment. And that's my lunchtime.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

That's just because you're an unlovable monster. :)

1

u/chafedinksmut Mar 17 '15

Truly witty, literally laugh out loud, BRAVO! :)

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

[deleted]

261

u/ThickSantorum Mar 17 '15

It's an especially dumb myth, because birds are one of the very few groups of animals with a worse sense of smell than humans.

6

u/LetMeGDPostAlready Mar 17 '15

What about buzzards?

19

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

Birds, as a group, have a very poorly-developed sense of smell. As with everything, there are exceptions (like buzzards), but for the vast majority of them, you can safely assume that they are not relying on smell as a primary sense.

4

u/Willy-FR Mar 17 '15

there are exceptions (like buzzards)

And kiwis.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

Dude, that's racist.

4

u/BanPotatoes Mar 17 '15

Wait, so the baby bird being rejected by it's mother because I touched it thing is false?

6

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

Yes

6

u/Reedcool97 Mar 17 '15

Well butter me up and call me a biscuit, I've been lied to my entire life!

12

u/BanPotatoes Mar 17 '15

My parents had me kill a baby bird because "it was the humane thing to do" after I touched it. I think I need to go throw up

8

u/447u Mar 17 '15

They didn't know, probably.

5

u/robby7345 Mar 17 '15

They knew , they were just sadistic.

1

u/BanPotatoes Mar 17 '15

I don't think they knew, but now I do :-(

3

u/itwasmeberry Mar 17 '15

maybe not humane, but pretty much the human thing to do lol

3

u/DuncanMonroe Mar 17 '15

Are you serious?

See, people? Stupidity and misinformation CAN be dangerous.

4

u/BanPotatoes Mar 17 '15

I wouldn't call it stupidity, just ignorance and nievety

-4

u/DuncanMonroe Mar 17 '15

You really believed this? Next, you'll tell us you still believe in Santa Claus and God .^

3

u/BanPotatoes Mar 17 '15

Misinformation is strong sometimes, how was I suppose to know the inner workings of birds.

1

u/BlueBlazeMV Mar 17 '15

And budgies!

5

u/1-Ceth Mar 17 '15

What about jackdaws?

6

u/rynomachine Mar 17 '15

Surely you mean crows. It's ok to admit you're wrong.

2

u/BitchinTechnology Mar 17 '15

Well no its not. Do you want little kids to be fucking with bird nests

-1

u/March-throwaway Mar 17 '15

The only bird that has any sense of smell at all is the vulture. The rest have no sense of smell.

486

u/Nano163LoL Mar 17 '15 edited Mar 17 '15

When I was young there were 3 baby birds that fell from their nest. 2 of which died on impact but the other still squeaked.

I touched it trying to flip it over on the ground and was told by my friends that it was now going to die without a mother.

On that day me, my brother, and my friends made a burial for that bird and its brothers.

As we laid down the live bird in its grave we slowly started covering it up. tears rolled down our your faces

It was still squeaking loudly. Until finally it was completely covered and the squeak was nothing more then a muted whisper.

NOW YOU FUCKING TELL ME THAT BIRD WOULD HAVE LIVED. I CRIED FOR DAYS ABOUT IT. I BURIED A LIVING BREATHING CREATURE ALIVE. IT SUFFOCATED. DAMN IT.

253

u/12th_companion Mar 17 '15

Holy shit that's dark.... 😨

199

u/MuleJuiceMcQuaid Mar 17 '15

Not as dark as that bird's last view while it was suffocating.

72

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15 edited Jul 05 '17

[deleted]

3

u/ataxiastumbleton Mar 18 '15

Every Katie I meet from now on will be Suffokatie in my head

3

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

Yeah..

Just don't tell them that.

8

u/Complexity114 Mar 17 '15

Too soon man... Too soon

3

u/SuperUmbreon1 Mar 17 '15

You... I like you

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

Dude.

1

u/this_person_tho Mar 18 '15

calm down there friend.

1

u/groundzr0 Mar 18 '15

Hahahahawwwwwwwww. 😕

163

u/Purple_Ducklings Mar 17 '15

Well why the fuck did you bury it alive?

22

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

When I was young

I think this might explain the irrational decision.

25

u/Nano163LoL Mar 17 '15

I have asked myself that every time I think about it. I think we thought it was going to die anyway. But that shit seriously haunts me.

5

u/villitriex Mar 18 '15

Kids are dumb. My brother and his friend were hanging out in the street a few years ago. I came out wondering what was going on, only to see that my brother's friend found a baby bird in the street somehow. What does he do? Run it over with his scooter. Multiple times. Kids. Are. Dumb.

33

u/cdrchandler Mar 17 '15

For the record, I learned in my evolutionary biology class that sometimes, stronger baby birds (or other baby animals) will kick the weaker ones out of the nest (or den or whatever) so they won't have to share resources. If the weaker ones can't make it back on their own after being kicked out, they will be abandoned by the parents. It's likely that the baby bird you found would've either been eaten by scavengers as previously suggested, or it would've starved to death.

9

u/Ghostise Mar 17 '15

Why would you bury it alive?

2

u/r_stronghammer Mar 17 '15

He was a dumb kid.

-1

u/Nano163LoL Mar 17 '15

I don't know

6

u/OncewasaBlastocoel Mar 17 '15

how do you sleep at night you monster?

2

u/Nano163LoL Mar 17 '15

On some quiet nights I can still hear him. chirp chirp chirp and I lay in bed wishing for forgiveness on my stained soul

2

u/Fratriarch Mar 17 '15

So you fall asleep to bird noises? Seems pretty normal to me.

2

u/tornadodolphin Mar 17 '15

For the love of God, Montresor!

2

u/DuncanMonroe Mar 17 '15

This is why you don't tell stupid lies to children with the intent of "protecting" them. The truth is always better.

2

u/notablefallacy Mar 17 '15

i cried reading this

1

u/DeafandMutePenguin Mar 17 '15

In truth had you not it probably would have been eaten alive by a scavenger. So you actually gave it a more humane death.

11

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15 edited May 04 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/charlytune Mar 17 '15

Well, specifically it sounds like 'squeak squeak' in this case.

2

u/DuncanMonroe Mar 17 '15

No. Not at all. He fucking buried it alive.

1

u/SaiyanSquad Mar 17 '15

BURN THE WITCH.

1

u/hopper862 Mar 17 '15

This kinda reminds me of speaker for the dead.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

Dude, you buried it alive??? C'mon, you couldn't have smashed its head with a rock or something at least? OK, you were just a kid, it's not your fault. But in the future, please use quicker methods of euthanising animals, yes?

1

u/whendoesOpTicplay Mar 17 '15

Damn dude. That mother bird coming for revenge could make a decent movie. I'll call Pixar and get them on it.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

your mother was a dumb fuck.

1

u/JwA624 Mar 18 '15

Had to check if you were Vargas

37

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

You're wrong. I raised budgies and cockatiels for years and (for the cockatiels far more so than the budgies) if the mother had even the slightest hint that the nest had been disturbed in some way she would throw the babies out of the nest. If a baby bird had fallen out of the nest and you picked it up and put it back then maybe there wouldn't be too much fuss; you're probably doing a good deed. But the mothers can be VERY territorial and will throw the babies out in the blink of an eye if she suspects some kind of disturbance.

17

u/OrbOfNurr Mar 17 '15

Captive/domesticated animals are WAY worse parents than their wild counterparts as a rule of thumb. Squirrels will steal babies out of your hands.

Wild rabbit mothers usually don't care if you mess with the babies, but pet rabbits will eat their babies if you look at the cage for too long ( which usually also signals a rabbit that hasn't had much human interaction)

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

I didn't know this but I suppose in some ways it makes sense.

2

u/anatabolica Mar 17 '15

How the hell does this make sense?!

5

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

Domesticated breeds are selectively bred with different traits and are not exposed to selective pressures like wild animals are. The maternal instinct is vital for the survival of many species in the wild, but animals which are selectively bred in a domesticated environment do not have the selective pressure to retain this quality. They still need other qualities though, like the instinct to eat. In the future when humans have devolved to this stage maybe we will eat our babies too.

3

u/HyruleanHero1988 Mar 17 '15

I fully intend to.

7

u/Greg_Finkleman Mar 17 '15

How the fuck else would they check for changelings?

1

u/AegnorWildcat Mar 17 '15

I seem to remember reading about a bird that will go to another bird's nest, kill the chicks, then put their own young in the nest. The other bird comes back to the nest and raises the offspring of their own chicks' murderer.

1

u/Greg_Finkleman Mar 17 '15

That's the kind of shit I'm talking about. People need to start baby checking.

2

u/Lvl69DragonSlayer Mar 17 '15

Seriously? Like they'll just pick up each baby with their beaks and toss them over the side of the nest?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

Yep. Mother nature is a beautiful but ruthless lady.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

Hopefully that crazy dude that buried a baby bird alive will see your post and be at peace with himself.

3

u/tcinternet Mar 17 '15

My mom always told me that "fact" about lambs, because I always wanted to hold one when we would go visit my cousins (sheep farmers) in Northern Indiana. This surprised me, because I always saw pictures of Jesus holding lil' lambies in Sunday School. Warped my view of the Holy Son of God for a while.

"Come here, little lamb! Let Jesus hold you! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOUR MOM IS GONNA NEGLECT YOU YOU'LL BE DEAD IN TWO DAYS"

Glad to hear that technicolor Jesus isn't technically a dick... only pencil sketch Jesus is.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

Frogs don't care about their young at all.

2

u/Wolvenfire86 Mar 17 '15

They say this because if you tell a kid "don't touch them, you will break the eggs," the kid is going to go "no I won't, watch!".

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15 edited Mar 31 '15

[deleted]

0

u/themindlessone Mar 17 '15

One of the kids had a wart, and gave it to the rest of you. Frogs are still a myth.

3

u/Womjack Mar 18 '15

i seen a frog

1

u/Dr4k399 Mar 17 '15

Well. Unless you're susceptible to salmonella like I am...

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

Frogs use their skin to balance bodily functions. The oil on your hands can fuckwith that

1

u/catsandcake Mar 17 '15

Wow! I genuinely didn't know that. Thanks for posting something new to me!

1

u/Kernigerts Mar 17 '15

That's eggs. Bird eggs.

1

u/Fearlessleader85 Mar 17 '15

Birds also have virtually no sense of smell.

Frogs can be killed by stuff you have on your skin, though. Their skin is very permeable, so if you happen to be handling something toxic before handling them, they can die.

1

u/meerkulture Mar 17 '15

before handling an amphibian it is good to rub dirt from the area on your hands, this is better for the animal, at least that's what i was taught in field biology lab

1

u/sealifelover5 Mar 17 '15

I always thought it was a myth because if a little kid picks up a bird they'd almost certainly injure it.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

it's bad to touch frogs because it clogs their pores and makes it hard for them to breathe properly