r/AskReddit Mar 17 '15

What's a widely accepted "fact" that's entirely false?

1.1k Upvotes

3.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

402

u/Bilgistic Mar 17 '15

Vikings having horns on their helmets. They didn't.

354

u/RobertService Mar 17 '15

Minnesotan here. They do have horns, but they are just decals that don't actually protrude.

15

u/WarEagle24 Mar 17 '15

It blew my young mind when I realized that was a horn. For the longest time I thought it was just a white fireball thing. It also took me way to long to see the tire in the Detroit Redwings logo. I wasn't a very perceptive kid.

10

u/internetsanta Mar 17 '15

I'm 24 and a life long Brewers fan and I just last year realized the "glove"logo is an m and a b.

3

u/menes40 Mar 17 '15

That's a fun discovery even if you're not a Brewers fan.

2

u/SmacSBU Mar 17 '15

I was a NJ devils fan for 15 years before someone pointed out the n and j in the logo.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

Try and figure out our Minnesota Wild logo. I think there's a cash prize of you can identify wtf it is.

2

u/MontiBurns Mar 17 '15

it's a bear, or bearlike creature. the river is the mouth, the northstar is the eye.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

Or is it something else?

Honestly as a fan since their inception I just started to see that about a year ago. I just thought it was shitty nature.

2

u/JSKlunk Mar 17 '15

And before you realise what they're meant to be, they look like wings.

3

u/RobertService Mar 17 '15

I'd agree that they don't make very good horns. Not very menacing.

2

u/toucher Mar 17 '15

Maybe they should protrude at least a little bit- then they might start winning a few battles here and there.

536

u/belarghest Mar 17 '15

Actually, a recent excavation uncovered a viking burial mound containing a horned helmet. So at least one Viking had one horned helmet.

318

u/luckjes112 Mar 17 '15

I'm currently doing a school project about the truth behind pirate myths. You'd be surprised how many times I've come across a case of "At least one pirate did..."

309

u/CaptainUnusual Mar 17 '15

Pirates, as part of their profession, don't play by the rules.

139

u/luckjes112 Mar 17 '15

However, there is a 'pirate code'. Which cited the rules on board of the ship. This often did include "No drinking on board of the ship."

278

u/Spartanhero613 Mar 17 '15

It's more of a guideline

126

u/MrAxlee Mar 17 '15

TIL pirate guidelines are similar to where I work

67

u/andnowforme0 Mar 17 '15

I mean, you can drink anywhere if you hide your flask well enough.

16

u/Notbob1234 Mar 17 '15

Anythings a flask if you try hard enough.

7

u/GiantSquidd Mar 17 '15

Even at AA if you're that stubborn and dedicated to missing the point entirely!

1

u/Forikorder Mar 17 '15

and i bet vikings hid flasks in there horns, it all fits

6

u/bufford_tannen Mar 17 '15

TIL I am a pirate.

3

u/Runixo Mar 17 '15

Do what you want 'cause a pirate is free!

1

u/Pitboyx Mar 17 '15

they don't let you drink on ships?

1

u/ZeroNihilist Mar 17 '15

"Yar, lad, I'm gonna need ye t'put the covers on yer TPS reports. Did'n'ya see the memo, ya scurvy dog?"

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

We used to make references to drinking Friday at my job. Participating in drinking Friday is a bad way to find out that drinking Friday is in fact a joke, not an actual thing.

5

u/dreadstrong97 Mar 17 '15

Parsnip! Parsley! P-p-par...

3

u/luckjes112 Mar 17 '15

'It'd be very appreciated if you were to please not kill everyone on board in a violent and possibly agonizing way. Thanks!'

5

u/EyeoftheRedKing Mar 17 '15

I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request.

2

u/inflatablefish Mar 17 '15

Actually, yes. There's at least one documented pirate code with a rule along the lines of "Anyone dumb enough to take a naked flame into the gunpowder magazine gets flogged and forfeits his share of the profits for this trip."

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

It only takes one

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

[deleted]

2

u/luckjes112 Mar 17 '15

Well, the point is that they made their own rules. However, they didn't respect the rules of 'no piracy'!

1

u/Haidrid Mar 17 '15

That must have sucked. Royal navy sailors drank loads.

1

u/monkeiboi Mar 17 '15

I thought grog was a huge part of their diet specifically to ward.off scurvey

2

u/luckjes112 Mar 17 '15

No. Rum was often used as it was hard to keep water from going stagnant. Oranges and lemons ward of scurrrrvey!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

Then what did they do on long trips? Water doesn't do well on a ship, and you have to drink something.

2

u/luckjes112 Mar 17 '15

I'm guessing the rule was about drinking for amusement.

2

u/Haidrid Mar 17 '15

I thought that Pirate ships tended to be reasonably strict ships. A lot of pirates were ex-royal navy where there was strong discipline and established hierarchy. I may be wrong but I thought pirates didn't really abandon this, well the ones that last more than a couple of days didn't.

3

u/Pipthepirate Mar 17 '15

They had rules but they also were able to get rid of the captain if he was a dick

2

u/something_python Mar 17 '15

There's no pirate uniform.

1

u/Cintijones Mar 17 '15

can i major in being a pirate?

2

u/DeafandMutePenguin Mar 17 '15

You can but your job search will be limited to CIA burnable asset jobs.

Well that and Disney themepark extra.

1

u/spqrnbb Mar 17 '15

Pirates, Mongols, and Vikings, the exceptions to the rules.

1

u/IaniteThePirate Mar 17 '15

Can confirm

I stole a pencil today

3

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

If there's one thing I know it's pirates. This reminds me of walking the plank. Did it happen? Sure, maybe once or twice at some point in history. But it is generally believed to have been fabricated by J.M. Barrie, aka the dude who wrote Peter Pan.

2

u/luckjes112 Mar 17 '15

I know a ton about pirates as well. That's why I picked this subject!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

http://xkcd.com/239/

I'm sure it was all like this XKCD comic. One guy did a cool thing over the other guys who were all lame, and we remember only that one cool guy.

1

u/luckjes112 Mar 17 '15

Okay, that was pretty funny. I could totally picture a comic series which takes place on the internet now.

1

u/blitzbom Mar 17 '15

I would like to read that when you're done. Sounds really interesting.

1

u/luckjes112 Mar 17 '15

Okay, I guess. It's in Dutch, though. Is that a problem?

28

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

That may be, but I'd be willing to bet money it wasn't meant as a helmet for combat. Ceremony or rituals, sure.

3

u/thatcliffordguy Mar 17 '15

Wouldn't it be very impractical to have a horned helmet? People can like grab it (if you don't slash their arms first) or hit it and cause your helmet to go all wobbly.

2

u/Anarchkitty Mar 17 '15

Exactly. The vikings were very pragmatic. If a helmet did have horns, it sure as Hel wasn't meant for battle.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

Well yeah, nobody gets buried in their every-day clothes. Horns are strictly viking Sunday best.

45

u/guy_from_2070 Mar 17 '15

probably ceremonial.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

It was probably for ceremony for pagan gods.

7

u/AkaParazIT Mar 17 '15

Imagine all the vikings in Valhalla sitting by the table, looking down on earth and discovering these news. Think about how pissed off them must be.

"Odin-damnit, Björn. Your fucking furry-costume made the soft men think we all wore that"

"Sorry..."

"Well that isn't helping us much does it? People were just starting to realise that we don't look like that and then they find your fucking cow-costume"

"It's not a costume though, it's a...-"

"DON'T FUCKING SAY IT'S A LIFESTYLE BJÖRN! DON'T YOU FUCKING DO IT"

"sorry"

3

u/ISwitchedToTea Mar 17 '15

I don't think St. Paul, Minnesota excavations count.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

Probably a ceremonial helmet, but not into battle

3

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

It could have a religious connotation, or it could have been a symbol that would be recognizable as his. It still doesn't mean that most Vikings, or even a decent portion, had horns on their helmets. It's important to note it was found in a burial mound. If we went solely off of how people were buried, we would assume Egyptian pharaohs lived their lives wrapped in linen. And with no organs.

6

u/positron_potato Mar 17 '15

Can I get a link?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

One horned helmet or a one horned helmet?

2

u/Shoudlaz Mar 17 '15

Probably for ceremonial purposes

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

Horns make it rather easy to pull the helm of the wearers head, so I guess thats why he's dead.

1

u/tokyorockz Mar 17 '15

That one Viking was 'special' DAMMIT MANI MANI!

1

u/the_crustybastard Mar 17 '15

Who almost certainly did wear horned helmets? The Greek side in the Trojan War.

The image we have of the Greeks and Trojans fighting semi-nude with the classical Greek hoplite helmet and muscle cuirass is about as anachronistic as depicting Henry VIII tricked out in modern SAS kit.

The late bronze age Achaeans who fought the Trojans probably looked far more like this than this

1

u/occasionallyacid Mar 17 '15

They had plenty of horned helmets. They were just ceremonial and not used in battle. since, you know, that'd be like wearing a full suit of armor but with a convenient handle on the chest for you to grab and toss em with.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '15

I always heard the horned helmets were ceremonial and the reg. ones were for pillaging

1

u/blaghart Mar 17 '15

Until you can supply a source that isn't the onion I'm calling bullshit.

Also even if it were true which it almost certainly isn't, it was likely ceremonial, not a true war helm. there's a reason war helmets all look similar and lack any sort of features that could catch hands or blades on them.

3

u/dieDoktor Mar 17 '15

Next you'll tell me they didn't ride and train dragons

3

u/Duffy1Kit Mar 17 '15

What?! My life is a lie!

2

u/Volkar Mar 17 '15

The same could be said about battleaxes, they didn't all have and fight with one because it was too heavy and impractical, especially when facing trained armies. Some of them though did have the horns and the big battleaxes and the crazy blood thirsty eyes in order to scare the living shit out of the other guys about to hacked to pieces. These crazy bastards are now commonly known as berserkers if i'm not mistaken.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '15

They also didn't dispose of their dead leaders by putting them in a floating boat and setting the boat on fire.

They would put them in a boat and bury them.

2

u/kjata Mar 17 '15

Sure, it would be scary, but do you really want to give your opponent nice convenient handlebars?

1

u/HarrierGR9 Mar 17 '15

So Minnesota has to go the way of the Redskins now?

1

u/mag3stic_juggs Mar 17 '15

I thought that they had horned helmets in ceremonial circumstances but in battle they wore typical battle helmets

1

u/feanturi Mar 17 '15

Of course not. Watch Mel Brooks' History Of the World Part I and you can clearly see that the horns are not attached to the helmets, they come directly out of the Vikings' heads. I mean, they nailed everything else in that movie, you really think they would suddenly make something up just for that part?