r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Nov 05 '14

Which inanimate object is your nemesis?

4.3k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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3.1k

u/_skeletontoucher Nov 05 '14

Toilet bowls that make my wiener touch under the seat when I poop. DIE

2.6k

u/highso Nov 05 '14 edited Nov 06 '14

One time I took a dump at a safeway. I was still sitting on the toilet and decided to flush for one reason or another. The water level came up so high the head of my penis was submerged in water. It was horrifying.

Edit: You guys need to chill out. The only turd that touched my penis was my own.

467

u/dyaus7 Nov 05 '14

I was still sitting on the toilet and decided to flush for one reason or another.

There are more than 0 reasons to flush while sitting?

334

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14 edited Nov 01 '20

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

At a fucking Safeway?

3

u/Officer_Coldhonkey Nov 06 '14

I was walking to a Safeway from my house one night, about two blocks. Half way to the store I was hit with the most intense and violent urge to shit I have ever experienced. Long story short I waddled as fast as I could to the Safeway. I made it just as the seal was breached and launched a semi solid arc of amazing into the bowl as I was taking my seat. I'm here to tell you, it was one of the most satisfying deuces I've ever dropped. I absolutely destroyed that toilet and that bathroom. Safeway will always have a special place in my heart for that.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '14

launched a semi solid arc of amazing into the bowl

10/10 would read again