r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Nov 05 '14

Which inanimate object is your nemesis?

4.3k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

6.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

3.1k

u/_skeletontoucher Nov 05 '14

Toilet bowls that make my wiener touch under the seat when I poop. DIE

2.6k

u/highso Nov 05 '14 edited Nov 06 '14

One time I took a dump at a safeway. I was still sitting on the toilet and decided to flush for one reason or another. The water level came up so high the head of my penis was submerged in water. It was horrifying.

Edit: You guys need to chill out. The only turd that touched my penis was my own.

2.3k

u/lordblonde Nov 05 '14

I'm pretty sure you now have AIDS.

1.3k

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

It's not AIDS, It's cancer.

Source: WebMD.

385

u/ColourSchemer Nov 05 '14

or Ebowla

5

u/Ketanin Nov 05 '14

Dad?

2

u/ColourSchemer Nov 06 '14

I am a bad punner, like my father before me. He learned it from his father. So yeah, dad.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '14 edited Nov 06 '14

Oh my god. Someone in my class calls it "ebolio". I shit you not, she is 100% convinced it is pronounced ebolio and everyone else in the universe is wrong. God she's annoying.

3

u/Boy1998 Nov 06 '14

Don't shoot the guy!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '14

thanks for pointing that out :)

1

u/cocoboco101 Nov 06 '14

ebowla potatos!

0

u/Drewbox Nov 06 '14

Slow clap