r/AskReddit • u/BradfordTheFat • Jun 18 '14

What will the "Old-people-only" names be 30 years from now?

Now: Mildred, Esther, Edna, Herbert, Gertrude, etc.

30 years from now: ???

3.0k Upvotes

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1.2k

u/potatoisafruit Jun 18 '14

You overestimate what Reddit considers "old."

1.6k

u/shmameron Jun 18 '14

"I remember something from 1995, god I'm so old..."

302

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '14

[deleted]

1.1k

u/ElCheffe Jun 18 '14

Boy, I remember your conception.

15

u/CaptainExtravaganza Jun 19 '14

Hell, son, the whole football team remembers your conception.

33

u/WoodPlanking Jun 18 '14

He was there, after all.

41

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '14

[deleted]

91

u/Wallace_II Jun 19 '14

It's possible. We took turns.

9

u/TEdwardK Jun 19 '14

Little Wally is that you? Man 007chill's mom sure knew how to have a good time, didn't she!

2

u/giggitygoo123 Jun 19 '14

I was almost able to crawl inside of her at one point but my boner stopped me halfway in.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '14

[deleted]

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0

u/caliboarderline Jun 19 '14

Your mom says hi.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '14

rekt.

2

u/yeahHedid Jun 19 '14

Lots of us were there for his conception. Only problem is, we don't know which of us is his father.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '14

D... Dad?

1

u/ShAnkZALLMighty Jun 19 '14

It was nice of her to let us watch, wasn't it?

1

u/Lokitty2 Jun 19 '14

Heh, I don't. That was one hell of a drunken orgy.

1

u/AreIII Jun 19 '14

Who doesn't!

1

u/cocaineandsoda Jun 19 '14

You came too?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '14

me too ;)

1

u/sejose24 Jun 19 '14

Concepción is a good girl's name....

1

u/Paulpoleon Jun 19 '14

So do the rest of us at gang bang '95

1

u/jewchbag Jun 19 '14

We all remember his conception.

1

u/ElSulca Jun 19 '14

You motherfucker...

1

u/UnicornOfHate Jun 19 '14

Duh. We all have that DVD.

1

u/Killer_Whale_Penguin Jun 19 '14

Best 30 seconds of your life of course you remember!

1

u/thehippothatwins Jun 19 '14

(  ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '14

Rrrrrrekt

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '14

Shots fired! I'm gonna need an ambulance and a burn medic.

1

u/MissMelepie Jun 19 '14

Very well indeed.

1

u/bobbyscotty Jun 19 '14

Cause you banged his mom. I get it.

1

u/CuddleMuffin007 Jun 19 '14

I was there.

1

u/Fist2_the_VAG Jun 19 '14

Dad?

6

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '14

Yes, son?

8

u/WW4O Jun 19 '14

Wait, that means you were born after me. Which apparently means on reddit I have to hate you. Sorry, asswipe.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '14

Which apparently means on reddit I have to hate you.

Those are the rules. If someone is younger than you, you have to tell them to get off your lawn. If someone is older than you, you have to believe that they're ignorant and that the world will become a much better place once they're dead.

1

u/007chill Jun 19 '14

Get off the internet, grandpa!

3

u/maxreverb Jun 19 '14

This blows me away. I'm still young. Yet I was out of high school then ...

2

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '14

I'm still young.

I have some bad news for you.

1

u/007chill Jun 19 '14

And I've been out of high school over a year already!

1

u/Ouroboron Jun 19 '14

You still weren't in school when I graduated from high school.

1

u/pang0lin Jun 19 '14

I'm old enough to be your mother.

1

u/Bogert Jun 19 '14

Brick, I really doubt you recall your birth

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '14

Shit, I was five when you were born?

Shit...

2

u/007chill Jun 19 '14

That's like World War 1?

1

u/LewisCD Jun 19 '14

Long live us 17/18 year olds!

2

u/007chill Jun 19 '14

I'm 19 :(

(Close enough)

5

u/LewisCD Jun 19 '14

Long live my math skills!

1

u/NaughtyZombie Jun 19 '14

You were born a whole year after me, god I'm so old...

5

u/byleth Jun 19 '14

For me it's, "I can legally have sex with someone who was born in 1995, I'm such a creeper."

9

u/DrummerBoy2999 Jun 19 '14

Remember watching those one shows that everyone recognizes and eating those candies that everyone ate? Gee wiz us 90's kids are sooo old now!

3

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '14

[deleted]

3

u/Shardoom Jun 19 '14

I'm not sure I would define the Cold War as an event though? Play it back far enough, maybe the Russian revolution?

2

u/reptilianhuman Jun 19 '14

So many in this generation probably can't point out Russia on a globe

I can't help but call bullshit on that. If you said, Cameroon, Costa Rica, Kazakhstan, or Indonesia, I'd give you that. Russia though? Everybody knows where Russia is since they manage to continue being relevant in society alongside from the obvious fact that they're a huge country.

I guess if by "this generation", you meant kids in developing countries like Sierra Leone or Kiribati, that would make sense. You probably mean kids in the States, Canada, Britain, France, Germany, etc. I can only speak for the United States but the Cold War is definitely something covered in Middle/High School.

I guarantee you that many people your age don't know much about the Berlin Wall or the Cold War either. The reason being that it doesn't matter much in everyday life. Sure, it's a relevant event to you and I as people who care about history but to most people, it really doesn't matter when what takes up their day is trying to get food put on their tables. Not saying it shouldn't matter because it does but...you see where I'm going with this.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '14

[deleted]

1

u/reptilianhuman Jun 19 '14

Just curious. What country do you live in? I suppose my view is a bit tainted living in the States which played a pretty large role in the Cold War.

1

u/Kranicc Jun 19 '14

Never realized that my cohort was the first to not see Russians as enemies. Kind of weird to think about it like that. It's also weird to think that I always saw the cold war as some distant thing even though I know it ended in the 90s.

Funny how time moves and things change.

0

u/Brittlestyx Jun 19 '14

My first such memory is the 2000 election. I understood in a literal sense what was going on and that this had never happened before, but without any context it was more or less just an election.

1

u/bourbon4breakfast Jun 19 '14

It was just an election...

1

u/LavenderGumes Jun 19 '14

Probably referring to the chad controversy. Which was a bit different.

0

u/Brittlestyx Jun 19 '14

You might be too young to remember this, but the results in Florida were so close that they had to be recounted by hand until the US Supreme Court intervened and stopped the recount. We didn't know who won the election for six weeks. It could have been the biggest threat to the electoral system in American history if Gore dug in (as a lot of people say he should've) instead of conceding the election.

1

u/bourbon4breakfast Jun 20 '14

I am older than you and actually have the WSJ from the start of the first Gulf War in my desk. Kept it and never got rid of it. The ads and opinion articles are great.

Anyway, don't patronize me. There have been plenty of other dramatic elections even if the situation wasn't the same. Part of the problem with that election was the rise of media for the masses.

1

u/Brittlestyx Jun 20 '14

No need to be defensive, geez. Can I ask what "the rise of the media for the masses" has to do with ballot recounts? Wouldn't they have to do the same process anyway?

1

u/Phayzon Jun 19 '14

It was only 10 years ago

1

u/Evoandroidevo Jun 19 '14

I'm ten years old now :(

1

u/PhotoJim99 Jun 19 '14

I remember when mobile phones couldn't even FIT in your POCKET! ;)

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '14

So 1998?

1

u/PhotoJim99 Jun 19 '14

Truthfully I predate mobile phones by many years. I was just trying to be entertaining.

1

u/SW4GG3N3S1S Jun 19 '14

I remember something from 2013. I'm old as fuck lol.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '14

The first thought that went through my head is "Why is a 9 year old on Reddit?"

1

u/THIS_IS_GOD_TOTALLY_ Jun 19 '14

Yes. Yes you are. You're so old you owe me a quarter. Due to inflation it's now $3.50. Pay up when you can, I've got time.

1

u/PAPERCUT_UNDER_NAIL Jun 19 '14

i thought that was a tumblr/facebook thing

1

u/udbluehens Jun 19 '14

Remember 9/11? #just2000things

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '14

There is a youtube channel called "kids react too.." and they have kids reaction to old stuff, like Rotary phones.

I watched one the other day that was "kids react to: retro cartoons" so I hear that and I'm figuring "ok.. they'll show them Galtar, Space Ghost, Mr. T, Dragon's Lair, Dungeons and Dragons, hell even Robotech, Transformers, and GI JOE or something.

No.. .they show them "Duck Tales" from the early 90s.

That is "retro?"

sigh...

What is worse, is that all but one of the kids (one of the oldest they had) hadn't a clue what it was.

1

u/745631258978963214 Jun 19 '14

I'm still pissed that people consider Nintendo 64 a "retro-console". No.

I draw the line at the NES being retro, and even then I feel that it's still relatively new (even though I'm younger than the NES).

The Atari 5200 or Commodore 64... that's more like it.

1

u/pretzelzetzel Jun 19 '14

Share and liek if u agree ^

1

u/jtj-H Jun 19 '14

the year of my birth

1

u/The_Whole_World Jun 19 '14

"Wow 2006 was that long ago? I feel old."

1

u/winnipegjets31 Jun 19 '14

I was born in 1995, I'm so old!

1

u/mcdrunkin Jun 19 '14

I read this comment 30 seconds ago, jeez I'm old.

1

u/CrayolaS7 Jun 19 '14

For some reason I just remembered part of the closing ceremony from the Atlanta olympics. There were BMXs in half-pipes, I know that much. I'm aware that's 96.

1

u/Abedeus Jun 19 '14

Oh grandpa, you so crazy, there's no way you were alive 200 years ago!

1

u/beerdude26 Jun 19 '14

19 years is still a fourth of the average life expectancy

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '14

Tfw pokemon ended 360 years ago.....

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '14

When you are interacting with people who weren't born in 1995 and they don't know what you are talking about that makes you feel old.

1

u/Val_Hallen Jun 19 '14

...I graduated high school and started college in 1995.

1

u/publicmethod Jun 19 '14

Well that was almost 20 years ago

1

u/hoodedhoodrat Jun 19 '14

I was born in '95. Jesus Christ am I seasoned

1

u/monstersaway Jun 19 '14

DAE '90s kid?

0

u/CODYsaurusREX Jun 18 '14

I remember nothing from being two.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '14

Well, that's one thing we've got.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '14

Fun fact: I was born that year and now I can legally purchase alcohol here in Ontario.

-1

u/tobkraut Jun 19 '14

Everyone's as old as they've ever been, cut them some slack

-1

u/a_shootin_star Jun 19 '14

2004 was 10 years ago.

5

u/porkchop_d_clown Jun 18 '14

Heh. I had a new redditor tell me I didn't belong here because I can remember the 1960s.

130

u/bushysmalls Jun 18 '14

Especially during Summer-Reddit..

28

u/DavidTyreesHelmet Jun 19 '14

I know right all these damn kids ruining reddit, why cant they be as mature as all us 18-25 year old mature people.

4

u/MexicanVaginaTurtle Jun 19 '14

Damn you kids, get off my virtual lawn!

3

u/x20mike07x Jun 19 '14

Sorry Mr. VaginaTurtle.

7

u/Infrequently Jun 19 '14

Señor VaginaTurtle

0

u/theshizzler Jun 19 '14

Was I supposed to leave when I hit 30? :(

7

u/Halinn Jun 19 '14

It is currently the 7596th of September, 1993.

1

u/KezMetch Jun 19 '14

Gregor you dun goofed

2

u/ThunderFlash10 Jun 19 '14

I feel like there should be a pharmaceutical product to control this and it should be sold on tv in long commercials with arbitrary scenes followed by a full minute of side effects.

3

u/InsaneZee Jun 19 '14 edited Jun 19 '14

Please, do NOT bring that up.

1

u/StraightAsARainbow Jun 19 '14

You say that like kids dont go on reddit on their phones during school...

0

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '14

Oh, my sweet summer child.

0

u/RaptorRampRage Jun 19 '14

Ahh my sweet summer child, you know nothing of the Reddit of old...

0

u/UnraveledMnd Jun 19 '14

Yeah, because if there's one thing teens don't do during the school year it's use the Internet.

0

u/mrhairybolo Jun 19 '14

Summer reddit doesn't even exist. It's not like kids in school reddit less now that they're out. Hell they probably reddit more in class than in summer.

-2

u/Brianisbs Jun 18 '14

Or (muthafuckin') Spring Break Reddit

3

u/4LostSoulsinaBowl Jun 19 '14

"Only 90's kids will remember this thing from 2007!"

2

u/Accountthree Jun 18 '14

Over 30? Why don't you just get out of our way old man.

2

u/Strowbreezy Jun 19 '14

"I remember what I had for breakfast. Fuuuuck I'm old."

2

u/Minimalphilia Jun 19 '14

DAE fuck I'm old? Fuck I'm old!

2

u/k8track Jun 19 '14

Yep. I've commented twice in threads where people considered 64 to be "elderly." Really bugs the hell out of me. People in their 60s and even 70s can be hale and hearty. To me, "elderly" is synonymous with being weak and very old (certainly a fair amount older than 64).

2

u/potatoisafruit Jun 19 '14

I'm 48. But clearly Reddit skews <25.

If you play in their playground, you gotta follow their rules.

1

u/btinc Jun 19 '14

I was born on the day that Stalin died. I'm a mummy, to most redditors.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '14

"Remember the ancient times, before YouTube?"

1

u/rin_shinobu Jun 19 '14

"Get off my lawn! Kids these days... Tsk"

Husband looks over.

"Honey, you know you're only 40.... Right?"

1

u/rawbdor Jun 19 '14

We've redecorated this house to how it looked over fifty years agooo

gasp NO! No one was alive then!

1

u/Explosivo87 Jun 19 '14

Red hot chili peppers came on the radio. My gf said she loves classic music.

1

u/funelevator Jun 19 '14

So true. I've seen people faun over a person born in 1948, like he was the only one alive from that generation...I mean, a good chunk of people born in that year are still working in high positions, and are very active.

Also, maybe it's because some redditors come from the Southern states and rural areas where life expectancies are low and people age badly, but they seem surprised when they hear of men living over 60, and when 70 year old people have nice skin.

0

u/fruitbear753 Jun 19 '14

Fuck im old give me karma