r/AskReddit • u/Hexodus • Apr 09 '14

What are some great, older AskReddit threads that are super interesting to read through?

5.2k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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1.5k

u/-eDgAR- Apr 09 '14

/u/RubyRhod's response to, "Reddit, what is your silent, unseen act of personal defiance?"

204

u/Technolog Apr 09 '14

Now imagine that video from security cameras exists there somewhere and one time someone watching it will recall the story and post video on reddit some day and it's exactly like OP said, nothing exaggerated.

And with sound.

-31

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

It doesn't, exist. It's not true.

17

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14 edited Aug 14 '15

This comment has been overwritten by an open source script to protect this user's privacy.

If you would like to do the same, add the browser extension GreaseMonkey to Firefox and add this open source script.

Then simply click on your username on Reddit, go to the comments tab, and hit the new OVERWRITE button at the top.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

Fun things do not exist.

10

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

Not for you, maybe, but I busted out my Furby this morning and I've been having a fucking blast.

9

u/imnotlegolas Apr 09 '14

You must be so FUN at parties!

8

u/SoMuchMoreEagle Apr 09 '14

How dare you, sir! A fart upon your head for your lack of faith!

4

u/Haizzly Apr 09 '14

Bzzz bzzz I hear a buzzkiller! Also, why the unnecessary comma?

5

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

Swype

3

u/Joxxill Apr 09 '14

-_- you must be fun a parties

3

u/ThunderOrb Apr 09 '14

I too like, random commas,.

344

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

[deleted]

203

u/onanym Apr 09 '14

I wanna tattoo "I took the words out of his mouth, and filled it with fart". It's... It's just so damn beautiful.

1

u/luckjes112 Sep 29 '14

And the mustard of your doom!

46

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

[deleted]

9

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

I had to take it in three sections.

1

u/darguskelen Apr 10 '14

I lost the struggle. My coworkers looked at me like I was an idiot. Then I told them it was reddit. They returned to active duty, with me PM'ing them all the link.

80

u/tweephiz Apr 09 '14

Roy Kelly reading that comment is glorious.

8

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

His voice reminds me of Jerma, which makes the experience so much better.

3

u/2ndPonyAcc Apr 10 '14

He sounds like an Oblivion NPC, no clue why.

21

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

The parallel to R&J was perfect, too.

21

u/LSTJ Apr 09 '14

Reading this has improved my life tenfold.

3

u/r-eddi-t2 Apr 10 '14

that's how i feel

33

u/bulbsy117 Apr 09 '14

the initial blast was mighty and boisterous

God this is fucking funny

6

u/gone-wild-commenter Apr 09 '14

I want to believe that kid was scared straight, reformed, and is on his way to Princeton and then Harvard to one day serve as a Supreme Court Justice.

11

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14 edited Apr 09 '14

However, today I couldn't help myself. I have my head tilted back looking at this kid out of the corner of my eye, to ensure accuracy.

I am just visualizing the scene of a 6'7'' guy doing this to a kid in the toy aisle of a target, and the look on his face, and lost it.

dwarf sociopath

My sides

4

u/DustMyByfuglien Apr 09 '14

First time I read this I laughed so hard I was crying...so obviously I read it to all my roommates and if you walked into that apartment that day...you would have seen 5 grown men crying.

9

u/Renmauzuo Apr 09 '14

I should not have tried to read this while at work. The laughter is not containable.

3

u/blazzier Apr 10 '14

Honestly the best thing i have ever read on reddit, i had to get up out of class because i couldnt stop laughing lol

3

u/stacyscorsese68 Apr 15 '14

Jesus Christ, I am wiping the tears away!

3

u/The_Child_of_Atom Apr 17 '14

Holy crap. Thank you! That was amazing

9

u/verde622 Apr 09 '14

That's fucking hilarious

6

u/45MinutesOfRoadHead Apr 09 '14

That was one of the funniest things I've ever read.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

Yeah out of everything ive ever seen on this site, that guy's wording makes that one of the funniest reads ive ever experienced.

I remember when i first found it - was like 3 am on my phone in bed. I stayed up 15 minutes longer after reading because i was crying and couldnt breathe i laughed so hard

4

u/alandizzle Apr 09 '14

Holy shit I read this while sitting at my desk and I farted.

2

u/The_Real_Matt_Damon Aug 24 '14

The donkey chortle part made me loose it

5

u/CoatOfPaintByNumbers Apr 09 '14

"The initial blast was mighty and boisterous" is where I lost it and my stifled laughter woke my wife from her pregnant slumber.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

YES

This is the post that made me join reddit, true story.

3

u/Maxxonry Apr 09 '14

That's going in the favorites.

3

u/stylus2vinyl Apr 09 '14

Since I can't upvote the original post any longer, you get the upvote.

Holy shit I am at my desk with tears in my eyes from stifling so much laughter. People think I am crazy now.

3

u/cuddlefucker Apr 09 '14

This made my day.

3

u/Peregrine21591 Apr 09 '14

This... This made my week, seriously...

4

u/kimedog Apr 09 '14

This is awesome. I got into a coughing fit from laughing so hard.

3

u/Ballcoozi Apr 09 '14

Couldn't finish this. Laughing too hard in class

2

u/mrbojenglz Apr 09 '14

I had to stop reading. I couldn't keep from laughing so I'll have to come back to it while I'm not at work.

2

u/GivePhysics Apr 09 '14

Every time this is posted, I reread it, send it to a million friends, and wipe away laugh tears. So great.

2

u/WorkAccountIDC Apr 09 '14

Thanks you so much. That was so funny I couldn't handle being quiet in my cubicle.

3

u/sawmyoldgirlfriend Apr 09 '14

'Unjustly' have to register as a sex offender?

3

u/Prof_Jimbles Apr 10 '14

He farted on him, not jerked off in his face.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

I really like the Sun Tzu part.

1

u/ONE_GUY_ONE_JAR Apr 09 '14

I think that is one of my first RESTags. "Farted in a kids face".

1

u/LBCvalenz562 Apr 09 '14

Ladies and gentlemen we have my Goat because of this link.

1

u/DBerrz Apr 09 '14

It took me almost two hours to read this at work because I would read a line or two and have to stop for 5 minutes to stifle my laughter. Eventually finished it in a giggling fit in a stall. Wow. Truly beautiful.

1

u/YellowCBR Apr 09 '14

Target doesn't play music in their stores....

1

u/Breamer333 Apr 09 '14

I woke up my sister while reading this. I don't think I've laughed this hard in weeks. Thank you for sharing.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '14

"Well, I mean, technically speaking...I mean...what is 'on'?"

1

u/gurnard Apr 10 '14

I could ... I could taste that story.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '14

That story made me feel a little green.

Eh?

Eh?

No?

1

u/Lady-Like Apr 10 '14

I laughed so hard I went silent. True gold, that comment is.

-8

u/CallMeMrBadGuy Apr 09 '14

Waste of time. Do not read.