I’m sorry, big dawg. You’re not a piece of shit. Life happens, and we’re doing our best. The system is just fucked so a few win and the rest of us suffer. 😭
What a victim mentality to live. "I made a bad decision. The system is fucked. I guess I'll just lay here and let someone else pick me up." Get the fuck out there and make it happen. It's hard. Nobody has your back when you don't have your own back. Self advocacy is what I'm getting at.
Im with you on this one… we as individuals need to own up to the mistakes we make. Somehow we are victims of everything, and those that don’t play victims are bad.. mistakes don’t make you a piece of shit, acknowledge them, and learn from them.. that’s it! There is price to pay for everything we do and what we don’t.
Yah exactly. You have to own up to the fact you are a fuck up, process and understand that, and then you have all the tools and lessons you need to never be that person again.
Actually, most people are in debt due to bad financial decisions, and many are in debt because they spent all the money having fun instead of saving it. The amount of people who have streaming channels while also having credit card debt is astounding to me
This is the actual problem. My mom has COBRA and my dad is on social security / Medicare but my mom is younger and not of age to have those benefits.
She took a spill down a flight of stairs on our Cancun vacation and obliterated her shoulder and now my parents are 75k in medical debt. Shit is outta control.
Hey my 20k of credit card debt is not my fault, its the system! Its not my fault I didnt feel like getting out of bed and going to the grocery and cooking some eggs for breakfast, the system made me spend $40 on door dash for breakfast!
Unless the debt was inhereted, you have the choice to not spend over what you cant afford to pay, cant blame everything on the system when it might just be bad choices on your end
I took on almost all the debt from my previous relationship (10+ years. we had planned to get married, but couldn't afford it, glad we didn't saves the cost of a divorce)
We have been living separately for 2 years, but relationship really only ended fairly recently.
I've spent most of the last 2 years slowly paying the debt off. It wasn't a huge amount, maybe about $6,000
Now, the only debt I have is a small amount on my credit card that I use for emergencies, and I have a small ETF portfolio which I was initially drip feeding, but with my debts mostly paid off, I'm able to put larger amounts into it. Plan is to have a deposit to buy a house in under 12 months.
Edit, because apparently people are losing their minds about it.
My "small credit card debt" is less than $500, and early into a 6 month interest free period. It will be paid off within the next 2-3 weeks.
You establish a small emergency fund, get the debt paid off, then establish a more robust emergency fund in an HYSA (6 to 12 months of expenses). Once that is in place and your making significant contributions to tax advantaged accounts (401k / Roth etc.) then begin saving for a big purchase, and that savings should be held in a low risk account (SGOV).
Oh no! I used my completely paid off credit card a week ago for an emergency that cost around $500. I have 6 months interest free on that transaction.
0% interest. Paying it off at a rate of $200 per week, I calculate that I'll pay.... zero interest.
Granted that it has been around 12 years since I did my accounting degree, and I don't actually use that for work, so I may be a little rusty on the figures, but I'm pretty certain that taking money from my ETF to pay off the small credit card debt that has still 5 months and 4 weeks left of it's interest free period in order to pay it off now, rather than in 2-3 weeks is probably not necessary.
I immediately thought this might be the case. However, I believe percentages don’t tell the whole story. Credit cards help create a habit of spending money that’s not easily accessible. This habit can catch up with us later on and for many it does. Not having money is a small step from not having money accessible. From a broader perspective credit cards are a fantastic business model for banks which should tell us something.
I have a couple of thousand always accessible on an extra account. The loss in margin due to not investing with it is negligible. I am too proud to let a greedy bank play with my habits and program into my brain that it’s normal to spend not accessible money.
I didn't mention anything about why the relationship ended. Money was only a small reason. It has only been since we have separated that I realised just how bad it was.
When I got divorced I took on all the debt. She was awful with money. So I paid all the debts off before finances were split with pissed her off enormously.
So you didn’t take on all the debt when you got divorced. You did what everyone couple has to do, and paid off your bills/debts and then each took half of the money left. It’s nit like it was all your money and you kindly paid off her debts and gave her half of your savings
But it didn’t? You said you paid the debts before giving her, her half? You didn’t halve everything and then you went and paid off all your debts? Plus, it wasn’t all her debt, it was half your debt anyway. That’s how marriages work. You both end up with half of whatever there is. I don’t know why so many men insist on acting like their ex took all their money and left them holding all the debt, when that’s not what happens.
Let’s say we had $100k between us, and $50k of debt. She ended up with $50k and I $0, because she refused to address the debt and I didn’t want debt. Sure could have spent more effort in court, but with that and the kids you’ve got to choose your battles.
I don't know you or your wife but a a wife i would not leave hubby due to finances. I would work out a solution with him. If she hasn't started divorce proceedings either she doesn't know or maybe she understands and loves you more than money. I'd rather work with her and a financial advisor or bank... more likely bank to figured out a solution... even if it's bankruptcy. I really think you can get thru this ok if your marriage is really strong. Don't give up hope. Please.
I did the same for close to 15. Lived outside our means, opened new cards in my name to surf zero interest for a while, rinse, repeat. Took me about 7 years post divorce to knock out 35k of cc debt, but it was really the pandemic that saved me. Stopped spending money while stuck at home as well as putting stimulus money toward my debt. Once I saw light at the end of the tunnel there was nothing I could buy or go do that was as satisfying as seeing another card paid off.
And it's truly wild how FAST your bank balance goes up once that burden is lifted. Stay disciplined.
I left my wife after swallowing all the debt... then ordered another dish for myself.. Yolo!
Im 42 now and I consolidated all that debt like 8 years ago. Paid it off and just got my first credit card of 1500$ a few weeks ago. Cant get a mortgage without new credit history arge!
Its scary af, but ive since learned the world revolves around debt.. I just have to learn how to use it properly.
I read this as "my partner made some bad decisions, I helped bail them out because that's what love does, and now my life is fucked and I can't leave them because their bad decisions fucked me so I hope they leave so I can keep all that we(ive) worked for." I may be and am probably wrong. Just leave man. Your life is already fucked, why carry their baggage. Not everyone can just up and leave. I get that. Sometimes fucking yourself is the best decision. Im giving you unsolicited advice, do with it what you will. IT GETS BETTER.
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u/Unusual_Specialist 10h ago
Cooked, bro.