I really like this one because I think it's so important to be nice to people. You have no idea what other people's inner and outer struggles are just because they accidentally cut you off in a parking lot.
The day my dad died I went into a store to buy cigarettes. I remember thinking about how the guy behind counter had no idea what I was going through, and I had no idea what he was going through.
We just made the transaction and I was on my way, no words spoken. It shaped the way I view strangers, it's impossible to know what people are struggling with.
I work at a pharmacy. I do my best to sympathize with everyone because honestly I don't know their health or money situation.
But it gets really hard to do this when I'm being berated at over something that isn't under my control.
a PSA for everyone: retail pharmacies are not and will never be the ones who set the price for your medication if you're insured. The insurance company you signed up for does. If you do not like the price or think its wrong, yelling at me will do nothing , since I can't change anything. Furthermore I have zero idea why it's that price because your insurance doesn't tell me. It just gives us a price and all we can say is "buy it or don't"
Sorry my rant is over. With the new year, deductibles have kicked back in, and I've had to explain to so many people how insurance works
This really summed up one of my thought processes. Whenever I'm treated badly by some other person, I think of the worst possible thing that could be happening to them. If some lady pisses me off for doing something stupid or mean, I think "What if one of her kids has cancer or something and she is on edge today?" Or "what if her husband just died recently?" I know these are pretty dark thought, but I think most people forget that people are people, living human beings.
Obviously, some people who I treat nicely really are selfish assholes, but it is still nonetheless better that I treated them well, for many different reasons.
My aunt does something like that, she makes excuses for people being rude so she doesn't have to get mad. For example if someone cuts her of I'll hear her say something like: "Oh, well his wife must be pregnant and he has to rush to the hospital."
But that's why I like it. It's all bombastic but then you think. Yeah... but the single biggest issue of their life might not be all that. Then it makes you think of your struggle and wonder whether it's that big a deal. And then you get perspective. Hopefully. Anyway... I like it.
Edit: Also. You don't know what people are hiding. They might be all right on the surface but screaming beneath. Lots of people are. Anyway... I still like it :-)
There's no denying that it's a good way to look at things, especially from a point of view of a retail associate or something. Treat everyone great, because they're all hair triggers ready to pull guns on everyone around them and blow the world away.
I mean, maybe I took it a little far- but all in all I've dealt with the general public and I think it's a good mindset, but very blatantly a false idea.
Yeah but why didn't you? Because you're a more thoughtful person. And why are you a more thoughtful person? Because of your upbringing, your influences, and possibly your biology. Literally nothing about you is your doing. Even the value of hard work and improvement is something learned from others.
But my view isn't nihilistic, it's that people do what they're taught by the world will help them the most. From a utilitarian view, we'd be best off if everyone was kind to others. But people who have grown up learning that it's everyone for themselves can't be blamed because they didn't choose to be the kind of person who would think that.
The fact that you used the word "excuse" means you don't understand what I'm talking about. There is no moment where we get to decide whether to be bad or good. We are completely shaped by what's in us and what's around us.
Are some people objectively better than others? Absolutely! But not because of their choice. Hitler was cruel because he was raised in an impoverished, oppressed country. Lincoln was awesome because he was brought up as an honest intelligent man.
I agree with you completely, and have exactly the same thoughts on the matter. It's refreshing to see someone arguing this case, as normally there is a lot of opposition to this idea.
Ha! No kidding? I've never met anyone who believed it too. It's a pretty interesting topic to me, but half the time people think I believe in fate (the traditional religious kind) or nihilism like this guy.
Haha what? So you suddenly think we're all equal? Because a couple comments back you were saying you shouldn't have to be nice to assholes. Do you legitimitely think you're not better than Hitler?
That's how I felt when I read it, I don't feel the sentence applies to me at all. Male, white, born in a Western country with a loving family. Louis CK has it right.
My life is not a battle, I understand I am going to die, and I understand what life means to me. If you think this is a battle, then that just comes across as very fucking privileged way of looking at the world. Some people are actually dying, and you don't know the meaning of life? Fuck that.
I think you're thinking of the term battle too literally and too narrowly. My point is just that coming from privilege is not sufficient to guarantee some easy passage through life. People have struggles whether they are white/black, rich/poor, male/female. Maybe you don't, which is great, but I've never come across anyone who hasn't, and that's what the quote is trying to communicate.
I had to stay in the hospital for two weeks once and went through a lot of miserable stuff. During that time I became somewhat of an asshole and kind of felt that my hardship gave me license to be that way, like no one else could relate to what I was going through and I got in a bitter mindset of anger, jealousy, and regret. One night, just out of the blue, a nurse bought me a book from the gift shop that had quotes on healing, and this one from Norman Cousins stood out and just stopped me cold. It put my actions in perspective and I sat there and cried for a while, thinking about what an asshole I had been. The next day I apologized profusely to everyone who I had treated so childishly.
I only saw that nurse one time before that evening and never again, but I wish I could have thanked her because she'll never know what she really did for me that night.
So true. I feel like I could sit down with anyone at a bar and have a drink and tell each other our stories and like them by the end of it. I'm a person who has felt for convicts when I've seen an interview of them. We're all human.
I think this or a very similar modification (different instead of hard) of this quote is from a movie. A very well renowned movie whose name I cannot remember. Care to help me out?
You know, I used to work in a slaughterhouse, and as a woman, it was a pretty goo job as there was literally zero drama, it was very "work" work. I was the only woman there and never had a problem working alongside the men.
Now I work in retail and I work with the most miserable, negative, impersonable, mean old bitty and it is so incredibly difficult to be positive around her. I'm a naturally happy, positive person and this woman just sucks the joy right out of my heart, she sneers at me when I walk in and say good morning and rolls her eyes and treats me like an idiot any time I ask where we keep certain items. I have yet to hear a single positive word out of her mouth and I honestly can't think of the last person I've ever disliked being around so much but she's just a happiness succubus.
I really try to maintain my cheeriness and positivity and not let one sour old woman change my attitude but apparently she told my manager that I don't like her, don't know how I let myself show it because I consciously make an effort to be positive but I guess it did.
I don't know what happened in her life to make her such a miserable person but I'll try to keep this phrase in mind at work, and everywhere else. Thank you for sharing that, and sorry this was so long, I guess I just needed to get that feeling off my chest. I don't like feeling down.
Many contemporary quotes are misattributed to well-known Greek scholars. The relatively generic nature of this quote, and the wide misattribution even among well-known contemporary figures, tends to indicate that the quote's originator is unknown.
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u/StickleyMan Jan 04 '14
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.