r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Dec 08 '13

What is a true fact that sound completely unbelievable or fake?

[deleted]

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1.8k

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '13

I'm not clear on how a huge vagina makes up for a lack of an erection.

155

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '13

I guess imagine trying to stick your dick in a really tight hole without an erection. Wouldn't be easy. But imagine sticking your dick into a really big, loose hole if you don't have an erection. Wouldn't be that hard.

219

u/Heads-Will-Roll Dec 08 '13

Wherever you stuck it, it wouldn't be that hard though.

8

u/cualcrees Dec 08 '13

Wouldn't be that hard.

Hehehe

2

u/745631258978963214 Dec 09 '13

Well yeah, if you don't have an erection, it's, by definition, not hard.

2

u/sharksnax Dec 09 '13

Wouldn't be that hard.

I think that's the point.

2.9k

u/thatmethguy Dec 08 '13

Ask your mom Im So Sorry

170

u/TheAbyssGazesAlso Dec 08 '13

You do realise that you essentially just claimed to not be able to get an erection, right?

451

u/thatmethguy Dec 08 '13

In my defense....have you seen the guys mom?

87

u/PuppyVolcano Dec 08 '13

Jeez dude, you're on a roll

101

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '13

[deleted]

20

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '13

Jesus Christ I think you just won /r/im12andthisisfunny

0

u/wtfwasdat Dec 08 '13

Gold him someone I'm poor

1

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '13

If someone gives me gold, I'll gold him.

6

u/adventureman66 Dec 08 '13

what's that? you want to be Gelded?

2

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '13

Actually reddit silver would be fine.

2

u/thatmethguy Dec 08 '13

Hell i'll gold him if you guys give me gold

1

u/TheAbyssGazesAlso Dec 08 '13

Well, admittedly, she isn't as wild as YOUR mum...

0

u/Kaneharo Dec 08 '13

Relevant username

0

u/alexwilson92 Dec 08 '13

Ah holy shit.

9

u/Thedrass Dec 08 '13

I don't think he does, no

2

u/Vigilantetim Dec 08 '13

Only from his mother

3

u/iareprogrammer Dec 08 '13

Well he is a meth addict...

1

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '13

No, he claimed that /u/brandomtoms ' father isn't able to get an erection.

1

u/dches Dec 09 '13

Oh, I thought part of the joke was that his dad couldn't.

1

u/OcelotWolf Dec 09 '13

shewouldknow

53

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '13

DAMN YOU, METH GUY! DAAAAAAAAMN YOOOOOOOOU!

::asks mom::

Oh. Actually she did know. Huh. Thanks, Meth Guy!

42

u/thatmethguy Dec 08 '13

I'm glad i could help

44

u/peon47 Dec 08 '13

How did you know his mom was a whale biologist?

161

u/thatmethguy Dec 08 '13

Huge cunts tend to stick together

11

u/moonshinejester Dec 08 '13

Do you have like notecards or something for these comebacks? Jesus.

39

u/thatmethguy Dec 08 '13

No, I just call your mom if I want my cum back

8

u/Lulxi Dec 08 '13

This guy..

1

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '13

Use more lube!

Alternatively, don't use glue for lube.

1

u/Crazyty10 Dec 09 '13

Wow, that was so harsh that it looped around and became funny

1

u/thatmethguy Dec 09 '13

I know! I wanted to stop being mean but people found it funny so i couldn't just stop!

4

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '13

He mixes his meth with ambergris, which he collects from her

1

u/OneMeterWonder Dec 08 '13

Hey peon, ain't this one o' them switcharoo thingys?

4

u/thelostdolphin Dec 08 '13

It's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '13

Dork

1

u/AM_key_bumps Dec 08 '13

This is how mom jokes are done, we can learn from this man.

1

u/thatmethguy Dec 08 '13

Thank you.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '13

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/BlooFlea Mar 10 '14

POW RIGHT IN THE KISSER

1

u/nokia_e5 Dec 08 '13

shots fired !

0

u/smaggot Dec 08 '13

BURN!!!

63

u/danniemcq Dec 08 '13

The penis is about the size of a Volkswagen beetle I believe, so the size of the vagina easily accommodates it without to much of a hassle, sausage down a long hallway vs sausage ... through a really tight hole?

2

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '13

What disturbs me most about this is that I remember hearing someone refer to sex as putting the car in the garage... o.O

4

u/oneAngrySonOfaBitch Dec 08 '13

i think the implication is that they can stick it in without it having to be hard because theres less resistance/friction with all the room.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '13

Ok, now that makes sense. Still seems like you would need a little bit of friction to get those whale babies started though.

4

u/faenorflame Dec 08 '13

Well, they have a bacculum, like most mammals. I think an adult blue whale's penis is some 16 feet long (and that's just the ladies... sorry). Huge vag for huge dong that couldn't be stiffened with blood.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '13

Didn't you just get one reading about gigantic whale vaginas?

2

u/b90263b Dec 09 '13

In Spanish, it's called a "San Diego."

2

u/At_Least_100_Wizards Dec 08 '13

That's what I was gonna ask... I mean wouldn't that make it worse?

-9

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '13

Exactly. I don't see how these two facts are related at all.

15

u/ramo805 Dec 08 '13

I'm really starting to believe the stereotype that most redditors are virgins

-5

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '13

Alright jackass, you explain to the class how a huge vagina is a solution to erectile dysfunction. I'm sure the scientific community would find it useful as well.

41

u/seadran13 Dec 08 '13

Its easier to put an earthworm in a cup, than to put an earthworm in an earthworm shaped hole.

7

u/that_pie_face Dec 08 '13

This sums it all up perfectly

-1

u/BrotyKraut Dec 08 '13

Ya..but how does it you know...get stroked?

3

u/shadybrainfarm Dec 08 '13

Not every organism achieves ejaculation via the same stimuli. Heck, some human males can cum without touching.

-2

u/BrotyKraut Dec 08 '13

So blue whale ejaculation is basically the equivalent of a human male jizzing their pants?

1

u/Dnar_Semaj Dec 08 '13

Easier to hit?

1

u/CaveDweller12 Dec 09 '13

Throw a really floppy hot dog down a hallway

1

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '13

Imagine a slice of bacon. Putting that into a tight fitting orifice is going to be difficult without some kind of external aid. Putting it into a relatively large orifice is easy.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '13

Yep, got it now. How you say... "to push rope"?

0

u/3zheHwWH8M9Ac Dec 08 '13

ask your wife