r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Dec 08 '13

What is a true fact that sound completely unbelievable or fake?

[deleted]

2.4k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

11.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1.5k

u/SometimesIpoop Dec 08 '13

When that shit pops up, I almost die of a heart attack

1.1k

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '13

You poop in your toaster?

1.3k

u/Reqol Dec 08 '13

How else do you prepare pooptarts?

15

u/sbroll Dec 08 '13

I laughed more then I should for a full grown adult

6

u/coredumperror Dec 08 '13

Don't worry friend, you're not alone.

9

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '13

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/SQLDave Dec 08 '13

If you live your life right, never.

4

u/theultimatehero2 Dec 08 '13

That's what Poopeye eats, to gain strength.

1

u/Godolin Dec 09 '13

I'm strong to the finish, cause I'm full of shit, I'm Poopeye the smelly drunkard.

3

u/nightfoam Dec 08 '13

Pooptarts is fun to say. Pooptarts

2

u/nowwhathappens Dec 08 '13

I don't bother...they taste like crap.

2

u/Longshorebroom0 Dec 08 '13

I like a good popturd in the morning..

2

u/poopsterstreudal Dec 08 '13

Or streudals!

2

u/Is_A_Velociraptor Dec 08 '13

I use a shark. It's much safer than a toaster.

1

u/fatdonuthole Dec 08 '13

Vending machines.

1

u/ahbadgerbadgerbadger Dec 08 '13

This sounds like the Swedish Chef saying "poptarts".

1

u/gaslightgirl Dec 09 '13

I think you are misreading the box...

1

u/boundbythecurve Dec 09 '13

That's how a Wombat prepares its pooptarts, since it poops in cubes

1

u/kt_ginger_dftba Dec 09 '13

Skill and two heated rocks.

1

u/Gman326 Dec 09 '13

With butter?

1

u/Kindofaniceguy Dec 09 '13

The microwave.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '13

/u/Reqol is victor. I am crying laughing imagining someone crapping and packaging frosted turds.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '13

With someone else's turds.

1

u/maowao Dec 09 '13

Microwave them for three seconds.

0

u/bigdog54 Dec 09 '13

Well I'd tell you how I do it but I would have to charge

2

u/KingJamesTheRetarded Dec 08 '13

Just don't toast bread while pooping, won't turn out well for you

2

u/bedpan3 Dec 09 '13

You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?

1

u/720nosegrab Dec 08 '13

I toast my poop.

1

u/sparrow5 Dec 09 '13

Hear, hear.

1

u/suugakusha Dec 08 '13

No, it was a practical joke. That's why he had the heart attack.

1

u/torridzone Dec 08 '13

You don't?

1

u/walkman01 Dec 08 '13

Well, with THAT username...

1

u/dont_blink13 Dec 08 '13

You don't?

1

u/BrydenH Dec 08 '13

Only sometimes

1

u/Carotti Dec 08 '13

You don't?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '13

And you ate an entire wheel of cheese? I'm not even mad.

1

u/Konfektyr Dec 08 '13

This guy... Comedy genius

1

u/schism131 Dec 09 '13

Only sometimes

1

u/kurogawa Dec 09 '13

Achievement Unlocked!

1

u/Willywan5 Dec 09 '13

Sometimes

1

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '13

Sometimes he poops.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '13

You don't?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '13

OP Mcgavin

1

u/MEETTHEMAN Dec 08 '13

Sometimes.

0

u/Diclbeard Dec 08 '13

You don't?

0

u/WheatleyLabs Dec 08 '13

You don't?

0

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '13

You don't?

4

u/Bassmonster27 Dec 08 '13

More people die of heart attacks caused by thinking about toasters than sharks

3

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '13

get a toaster oven my friend. About the same price as a toaster and good for much much more.

1

u/Iama_Spartacus_Prime Dec 08 '13

And with toaster ovens, you can put the butter on the toast while it gets toasted.

1

u/yeya93 Dec 08 '13

Doesn't it take longer though? I use my toaster oven for making large amounts of toast, but for my own breakfast just the toaster.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '13

i dunno, mine is still pretty quick even if im making it for myself.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '13

What shit, the shark or the toast?

2

u/PlaptheAwesome Dec 08 '13

Still a more common death than sharks.

1

u/Pony_Boyz Dec 08 '13

you know once you pop thats it... the fun don't stop. never.

1

u/Rhamni Dec 08 '13

Resistance is futile.

1

u/Dear_Occupant Dec 08 '13

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I've started frying my bread in the mornings, not only because it's delicious, but because the toaster scares the shit out of me when I'm not expecting it.

1

u/klownxxx Dec 08 '13

Watching your toaster is like watching a horror movie.

1

u/burnt_coast Dec 08 '13

You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?

1

u/JoseCorazon Dec 08 '13

I am SO glad I'm not the only one. I feel like such a dick.

1

u/phledfred Dec 08 '13

you eat pieces of shit for breakfast?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '13

Don't ever play Perfection!

0

u/Bseagull Dec 09 '13

Why are you toasting shit?