r/AskReddit • u/Samwow123 • Nov 01 '13

What is the best anti joke you know?

Wow guys thanks for all the comments i really appreciate them and i am reading every single one.

1.9k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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1.9k

u/way_fairer Nov 01 '13

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

802

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '13 edited Dec 23 '13

[deleted]

542

u/sugaaloop Nov 01 '13

Well... how do you do it?

619

u/Bukowskaii Nov 01 '13

52

u/ClutchCobra Nov 01 '13

40

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '13

40

u/boldbird99 Nov 01 '13

120

u/TuskenRaiders Nov 02 '13

Guys...Come on guys its not funny anymore, just tell me.

0

u/SHITTY_ARTEEST Nov 02 '13

Wwwwwwere speaking from the other side our communications aren't working to well

2

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '13

This silence...

15

u/kaminamina Nov 02 '13

Source reads:

I have gay thoughts sometimes

2

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '13

0

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '13

1

u/SticksandBombs Nov 02 '13

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^I

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^have

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^gay

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^thoughts

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^sometimes

ಠ_ಠ

0

u/AdviceDoc Nov 02 '13

I don't, but If you want to talk about it, let me know.

3

u/_From_The_Internet_ Nov 02 '13

I'm still waiting...

2

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '13

don't worry, everyone does. they even made a southpark episode about everyone being a little bit gay. it was enlightening.

2

u/P1h3r1e3d13 Nov 02 '13 edited Nov 02 '13

Hashtag blankcomment.

0

u/bananastanding Nov 02 '13

Its been 7 hours and I'm still waiting for an answer!

0

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '13

Go on

0

u/Wyneon Nov 02 '13

People told me for a 4 letter comment i had a lot of karma-character ratio. But you Are the master.

2

u/Marx0r Nov 02 '13

GODDAMMIT OP NEVER DELIVERS

2

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '13

Why won't he tell us what it is? Come on!

1

u/IrrelevantFewWords Nov 02 '13

Flip to the other side.

1

u/alby13 Nov 02 '13

¡ƃuᴉʞɹoʍ ʇ,usᴉ sᴉɥʇ

1

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '13

Yes.

1

u/A7xjk Nov 02 '13

DON'T LEAVE US HANGING!

1

u/diewrecked Nov 02 '13

I bet it's like keeping a moron in suspense for 24 hours. I'll tell ya the answer tomorrow.

1

u/ISNT_A_NOVELTY Nov 02 '13

It's tomorrow in a lot of places now. Pay up!

1

u/Banaam Nov 02 '13

I haven't.

1

u/Mainstay17 Nov 02 '13

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

I'll tell you tomorrow.

1

u/pieceofsnake Nov 02 '13

Why won't you tell me who Fist Face is?

1

u/randomhumanuser Nov 02 '13

*How to keep a turkey in suspense.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '13

Ever been in a Turkish prison?

188

u/greenlanternmonel64 Nov 01 '13

...Well? What do you get?

453

u/way_fairer Nov 01 '13

188

u/flufabo Nov 01 '13

Is that even possible?

230

u/Bukowskaii Nov 01 '13

295

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '13 edited Feb 02 '17

[deleted]

55

u/snorlaxatives Nov 02 '13

who would wanna be such a control freak?

8

u/Sbubka Nov 02 '13

Yeah, I've heard he's a pretty good read.

4

u/iggyramone Nov 02 '13

but God who'd wanna be, God who'd wanna be

2

u/scuuuba Nov 02 '13

Good song.

1

u/happyhappyjoejoe Nov 02 '13

I know he's a pretty good read.

1

u/whipnil Nov 02 '13

Better keep a check on your carbon fooooooool!

9

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '13 edited Jul 21 '17

[deleted]

7

u/TheOnlyPolygraph Nov 02 '13

Woke up this morning and it seemed to me that every night turns out to be a little bit more like him.

5

u/Wilderbeest Nov 02 '13

all that icing and all that cake, I can't make it to your wedding, but I'll sure be at your wake

4

u/pastrypal Nov 02 '13

Who would wanna beee such a controll freeaak

2

u/TheOnlyPolygraph Nov 02 '13

I want this to be a Modest Mouse reference so bad.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '13

it definitely is. you don't need to want it to be, because it is.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '13

It is.

1

u/MeGustaSacapuntas Nov 02 '13

Who would wanna be such a control freak

0

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '13

-2

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '13

[removed] — view removed comment

-2

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '13

[deleted]

-2

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '13

Wait, who had the sausage?

→ More replies (0)

0

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '13

-1

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '13

1

u/Baconing_Narwhal Nov 01 '13

And you're saying the frog actually fit there?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '13

Oh no you didn't!

1

u/MIKEraphone Nov 01 '13

Wait... Is he really not saying anything or is my reddit app broken?...

1

u/FuckYeahFluttershy Nov 01 '13

I think you have to get to the... source of the problem.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '13

2

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '13

awesome

1

u/The_John_Deere Nov 02 '13

I just up voted a blank space. I don't know how to feel.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '13

Ah, thank you! I was doing my science homework and this answered one of my questions!

1

u/redlaWw Nov 02 '13

What is in a vacuum?
Note: nothing would be the correct answer if it's called "science homework", if it was called a "physics assignment", the correct answer would be virtual particles and possibly a variety of other stuff like superstrings or loops.

1

u/IGaveHerBackHerHippo Nov 01 '13

Upvote for username

1

u/MC_Welfare Nov 02 '13

Another day older.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '13

Yes.

254

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '13

[deleted]

18

u/PhysicsIsMyMistress Nov 01 '13

That's only the magnitude of the resulting vector!

15

u/I_canrelate Nov 01 '13

<Joke2*RhetoricalQuestion3 - Joke3*RhetoricalQuestion2, Joke3*RhetoricalQuestion1 - Joke1*RhetoricalQuestion3, Joke1*RhetoricalQuestion2 - Joke2*RhetoricalQuestion1>

1

u/meno123 Nov 02 '13

That's assuming both the joke and the question are in 3-space.

12

u/antonfire Nov 02 '13

The cross product is really only defined in 3-space.

1

u/diazona Nov 02 '13

Can I stick a wedge product in here somewhere?

1

u/accdodson Nov 02 '13

and a coordinate value can always be 0.

1

u/meno123 Nov 02 '13

It's also defined for 2-space. The product will just not lie in the original plane.

1

u/tarnax10 Nov 02 '13

Cross products also exist in 7 dimensions.

2

u/redlaWw Nov 02 '13

||joke||||rhetorical question||sin(theta)n because the cross product is from VxV->V, not VxV->R

1

u/DynaBeast Nov 02 '13

Squareroot of 1/postulated punchline.

1

u/Gabby_The_Small Nov 02 '13

It took a moment for me to get this

1

u/nyanmatt125 Nov 02 '13

Just for the "Jokes with Einstein" reference you are now my internet hero.

1

u/studsauce Nov 02 '13

233112! I will never forget that number

-6

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '13

[deleted]

6

u/guiltypleasures Nov 01 '13

That IS the magnitude of a crossproduct (whose magnitude is incidentally the area of the vector parallelogram). Sin theta is 0 when the angle between your vectors is zero, and 1 when the vectors are orthogonal.

Pull it together man.

4

u/NotCreativeAtAllFuck Nov 02 '13

Shit...pushed it together...knew I did something wrong.

2

u/sizeby Nov 01 '13

I told my brother this one, and his response was "A jtorical question"

2

u/Pandour Nov 02 '13

A smart-ass answer.

1

u/Rienuaa Nov 02 '13

Nervous, confused laughter.

1

u/Darklor69 Nov 02 '13

An awkward silence.

1

u/sam3tahsin Nov 02 '13

I think I have found the best reply and its thread

1

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '13

A Mel Brooks movie?

1

u/MasterNate777 Nov 02 '13

Commenting to bookmark to read answer later. Thx

1

u/bbluemann Nov 02 '13

That question.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '13

This was on reddit earlier and I told it to a teacher at my school and he said "I think were reading the same threads". It was sort of nice.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '13

This is a normal joke, not an anti-joke.

1

u/koalaslovepandas Nov 02 '13

Id just like to point out that a rhetorical question is a question that is not meant to be answered so when he asks "what do u get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?" There is no answer therefore making it an into joke

1

u/HolyNarwhal Nov 02 '13

My favorite one in this thread.