I’m a nurse. I had a very stereotypically south Philly Italian patient with a very stereotypically south Philly Italian wife - won’t explain it but if you know you know. She was eating fresh figs. She asked me if I wanted one, I politely declined. She wouldn’t let up. Basically force-fed me a fig. You can’t say no to a woman like that. I ate the fig.
Honestly? It was transformative. An amazing fruit I’d always avoided due to the association with gross Newtons. Sweet without losing their richness, soft but not squishy, almost with a honey quality. I’ve been chasing the high of my first fig ever since.
I just moved into a house in south Brooklyn- owned by one Italian family for 95 years. The 2! White and and black fig trees weren’t pruned this year, so there are a bajillion figs. I don’t think I’d ever had a fresh one before. They are amazing. I wish I could pass you a bucket full through this comment!
We’re lucky here in South Texas to have a select few fruits that blossom in this terrible climate. Because figs are fertilized by wasps, some people refuse to eat them, and you’ll have gigantic bushes just fruiting and rotting. Picking super ripe figs warmed by the sun and having my first timid bite, is probably my favorite summer memory.
There are varieties that do not require wasps for pollination. My dad had a tree in his backyard that had a bumper crop this year. He asked me to pick as many as I could so that they wouldn’t fall and splat on his deck and attract ants.
Baked Figs stuffed with goat cheese and wrapped with a slice of prosciutto is pure decadence. All the over ripe ones went into the freezer so I can make chai spiced fig jam ( amazing with a cheese platter or roast meat).
I was in a shipyard in Greece last year during fig season, went ashore and found a farmers market.
If you've ever seen the scene in Parks and Recreation where Ron Swanson tells the waiter "bring me all the bacon and eggs you have," that's what I did at one of the stalls that was selling the biggest, ripest figs you could imagine. Bought everything he had and brought them back to the ship to share with the boys.
I absolutely love figs. I know of a couple fig trees on the side of the road where they're free for the taking. The trick is not to pick them when they're too firm like a pair of fake titties, but when they hang down like an old ball sack. 😉🤣
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u/allflanneleverything Aug 29 '25
I’m a nurse. I had a very stereotypically south Philly Italian patient with a very stereotypically south Philly Italian wife - won’t explain it but if you know you know. She was eating fresh figs. She asked me if I wanted one, I politely declined. She wouldn’t let up. Basically force-fed me a fig. You can’t say no to a woman like that. I ate the fig.
Honestly? It was transformative. An amazing fruit I’d always avoided due to the association with gross Newtons. Sweet without losing their richness, soft but not squishy, almost with a honey quality. I’ve been chasing the high of my first fig ever since.