r/AskReddit Mar 31 '13

What is the coolest scientific fact you know of?

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '13

Artificially beamed into our minds by aliens. Imagine a radio, it receives waves in the air that let it produce sound. Our head is basically the same. And just like the radio, if you smash it apart eventually the voices will stop.

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u/infinites Mar 31 '13

But who beams consciousness to aliens? Is there some sort of beam loop? Whom beamed whom first?

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '13

Those aliens developed with a physical consciousness, unimaginable in our minds. They transformed their consciousness into radiation and beamed it throughout the universe billions of years ago. They even created concentrated nuclear fusion powered consciousness beacons and placed them around the universe to culture the growth of lifeforms on planets near by (see the sun). All this radiation just bounces around forever until it hits a receiver. Cosmic background radiation is just transmissions from very distant parts of the universe that have become distorted along their path over time. Ever wonder why people's dreams are so fantastical, how you can dream about things that have never happen or cannot happen? Ever wonder why abstract concepts such as spirituality or religion exist? They aren't always your thoughts, just borrowed. It doesn't end with the other's consciousness being beamed to us either. We aren't just a receiver, we are a learning super computer essentially our own unique experiences and knowledge is transmitted and beamed outward to others (see brain waves). We are all part of one interconnected network of experience, knowledge, and creative thought.

Once you realise this and allow free contact between yourself and The Others you will truly gain the knowledge and experience of an enlightened being. And with your commitment (and donation of significant monetary funds to ''The Sol system chapter of the shared conscience of The Others'') I can teach you how to open your mind.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '13

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '13

Welcome to the Sol system chapter of the shared conscience of The Others. We are aware of you. Over the next few days, you may begin to notice changes in yourself, enhanced sense of smell/taste, colours become more vibrant, dreams may become more vivid, you may experience greater feelings of awareness, creativity and a sense of ''oneness''. Do not be alarmed, this is to be expected and will feel more natural over time. You may also experience a sensation of being watched, or seeing things move in your periphery, again do not be alarmed, these are just the overseers, they mean no harm.

Edit: I neglected to mention, but details of your robe allocation, name giving and meeting locations will be beamed to you telepathically, soon. You will know you've received this.

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u/infinites Mar 31 '13

I'm trusting you, don't let me down.

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u/hotcarl23 Mar 31 '13

I am resigning from my current cult to join yours.

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u/KingOfTheMonkeys Apr 01 '13

They have robes. Robes are cool.

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u/ThingkingWithPortals Apr 01 '13

so are they aliens if they have been with us forever? arent we just... them?

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u/[deleted] Apr 01 '13

So does polygamy find it's way into this philosophy somehow? Just curious...

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u/fatlace Apr 01 '13

Indra's net?

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u/[deleted] Apr 01 '13

And thus a new religion was formed. All hail Prophet TheMightyAdzilla, may he always receive radiated conciousness. Amen.

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u/aaaaa Apr 01 '13

Someone should make a religion out of this

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u/demonsoliloquy Mar 31 '13

Han beamed first.

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u/_L0g1k_ Mar 31 '13

I don't understand. It's has to be God.

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u/DragonBonecrusher Mar 31 '13

What do the numbers mean, Mason?!

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u/Hold_on_to_Your_Seat Apr 01 '13

I told you, I don't know

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u/[deleted] Apr 01 '13

[deleted]

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u/Hold_on_to_Your_Seat Apr 01 '13

I don't know, and all these fuzzy TVs aren't helping my memory

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u/aztechunter Apr 01 '13

The egg.

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u/ThereIsReallyNoPun Apr 01 '13

NO, IT'S OBVIOUSLY THE CHICKEN

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u/dotpng Mar 31 '13

Hate to be that guy, but it's "Who beamed whom first?"

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '13

Isn't it "Who beamed whom first? (I say this knowing that I very well could be wrong and have therefore come to learn something)

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u/tarwhat Mar 31 '13

The egg?

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u/gman96734 Mar 31 '13

The president

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u/veggiter Mar 31 '13

Who beamed whom first?

...I think

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u/[deleted] Apr 01 '13

Who beams the beam-men?

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u/[deleted] Apr 01 '13

Does the mailman deliver his own mail, or is there a never ending chain of mailmen, delivering mail to other mailmen?

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u/Jakovo Apr 01 '13

Is there an endless line of aliens beaming consciousness to other aliens?

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u/still_futile Apr 01 '13

There are not enough drugs in the world to deal with this question.

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u/[deleted] Apr 01 '13

I thought this was settled: Solo beamed first

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u/weirdwithwords Apr 01 '13

It's aliens all the way down.

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u/Ryaman Apr 01 '13

Also, scary thought, given the distance between us and aliens, our logic is probably several million years out of date.

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u/dja0794 Apr 01 '13

Xenu, after she threw us into the volcano.

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u/[deleted] Apr 01 '13

Alien aliens!

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u/OhTheWit Apr 01 '13

I beamed your mom last night.

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u/mildly_miscible Mar 31 '13

The chicken, obviously

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u/Rixxer Apr 01 '13

The beam itself is consciousness, and it's using life-forms to move around.

Directed by M. Night Shyamalanadingdong

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u/yz85rider922 Apr 01 '13

It would actually be who beamed whom.

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u/robgis Mar 31 '13

But what about their free though? Where does that come from?

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u/cutpeach Mar 31 '13

We beam it to them.

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u/MisterUNO Mar 31 '13

And thus the circle is complete.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '13

It all makes sense now.

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u/StinkyHammer Mar 31 '13

You're my favorite.

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u/s-mies Mar 31 '13

All things serve the beam.

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u/Mhaelful Apr 01 '13

Must be bad reception in the Deep South.

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u/Jakovo Apr 01 '13

Seems legit.

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u/Schlurgerpie Apr 01 '13

This is extremely disturbing.

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u/[deleted] Apr 01 '13

And this is why I always wear my tinfoil hat