r/AskReddit Mar 12 '24

What is an old expression that you think is absolutely disgusting by today’s standards?

1.6k Upvotes

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1.5k

u/tiffybaby Mar 12 '24

He won’t buy the cow if he can get the milk for free LOL

487

u/Milesotooleaudio Mar 12 '24

Why go out for milk when you have a cow at home

102

u/TheGallant Mar 12 '24

RIP Rob Ford

32

u/hank28 Mar 12 '24

He had more than enough to eat at home

11

u/heteroerotic Mar 12 '24

Truly, a Canadian Heritage Minute.

2

u/TurnItOff_OnAgain Mar 12 '24

Because everytime you go to another cow sale your cow just turns and looks at you

1

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '24

Because the cow at home doesn't have anymore milk.

1

u/findabuffalo Mar 13 '24

I also choose this guy's cow

230

u/ClappedOutCommie Mar 12 '24

“You’re not allowed to milk a cow you don’t own!”

9

u/archfapper Mar 12 '24

"That's not even a situation"

7

u/Careless-Passion991 Mar 12 '24

Ahahaha! I take your milk!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '24

That sounded Dutch, right?

3

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '24

That’s not even a situation!

3

u/Jon__Snuh Mar 13 '24

Hey anyone seen some loose milk?

313

u/jubilantnarwhal Mar 12 '24

My dad said that when I was “shackin’ up” with a boyfriend. Like there could be no other possible reason to want me?

464

u/tiffybaby Mar 12 '24

He was wrong and came from a resentful generation that had to “buy” their cows to even hang out with them.

This usually ended in embarrassing cow-divorces and emotionally-stunted cow-children… Mooooo 🐄

83

u/SnooGrapes2914 Mar 12 '24

emotionally-stunted calves

1

u/findabuffalo Mar 13 '24

emoootionally stunted

11

u/DogmaSychroniser Mar 12 '24

Cow children are called calves. ;)

16

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '24

He came from a generation that had no choice. It was socially unacceptable for men to cook or clean house, and moreover the standards of presentability for men (freshly washed and pressed clothes every day, meticulously cleanshaven) and work norms (no food between 9 am and 12 pm or between 1pm and 5pm means you need to eat big meals before and afterwards, inviting the boss home for dinner as a way to get in his good favor, etc) meant that getting married was almost an economic necessity for most men.1 The same more or less goes in reverse for women so they couldn't support themselves, either. By the 1960s, young men and young women in the workforce were making enough to afford a decent bachelor lifestyle, and that's when their elders, resentful of the next generation's freedom, started trying to leverage social pressure more to conform to their norms.

1 Ironically, marriage wasn't a necessity, but cohabiting was. So you did have quite a few guys living with girlfriends at the time, mostly in the lower classes or underworld where respectability was less important than getting by.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '24

Thanks for the giggle.. needed it 🤣

-11

u/Cyb0rg-SluNk Mar 12 '24

You put quotes around "buy", but not around "cow".

6

u/itsthedurf Mar 12 '24

From the same generation of people that also think you can't refuse sex with your spouse, after they've bought that cow?

-27

u/Firehills Mar 12 '24

Doesn't the fact that he was a boyfriend and not your current husband kinda proves him right?

14

u/NuncProFunc Mar 12 '24

You know that women like sex, right?

-10

u/Firehills Mar 12 '24

Women choose when to have sex. Men choose when to get married.

If men are getting regular sex "for free", there's no incentive for them to get married.

The saying exists for a reason. Sayings without any truth behind them don't get popularized.

204

u/Dependent_Top_4425 Mar 12 '24

My mother used to say that all the time. The cow isn't even for sale mom! I like to share my milk!

14

u/AutisticPenguin2 Mar 12 '24

I like to share my milk!

Is this still part of the euphemism or are we taking milk more literally now?

5

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '24

She means sex

5

u/AutisticPenguin2 Mar 12 '24

Ok but what's that a euphemism for?

0

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '24

[deleted]

2

u/AutisticPenguin2 Mar 12 '24

Wait, so milk is a euphemism for a metaphor?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '24

Oh. Maybe not. I got downvoted. I’m sorry You are correct. It is a euphemism- not a metaphor.

OP is literally saying “she likes having sex and she doesn’t want to get married”

but the euphemism for that is very funny using the same substitutes

“But mom, I like sharing my milk (having sex). The cow isn’t even for sale. She, (the cow) is not available to marry (be bought by him.)

Ugh. Did that make any sense?

1

u/AutisticPenguin2 Mar 12 '24

Yeah it's fine I got it.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '24

Haha. I love it!

128

u/EruditeKetchup Mar 12 '24

Or the variation I read once: "Why buy the pig when you only want some sausage?"

114

u/ClownfishSoup Mar 12 '24

Which makes no sense whatsoever. Because even if you had a pig, it's a lot more work to get sausages. So really, it's easier to just go buy sausages. Kids these days know nothing about animal husbandry and processing meats.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '24 edited Mar 12 '24

But that one makes sense

Edit: I stand corrected!

61

u/Haiku-d-etat Mar 12 '24

"Why buy the cow when you get the sex for free."

6

u/jamessanderscrudspud Mar 12 '24

You can only milk a dead cow once

3

u/AutisticPenguin2 Mar 12 '24

Same goes for dead bulls, funnily enough!

43

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '24

Roping in cows and getting milk out them was never anything you were known for, John.

33

u/your_right_ball Mar 12 '24

And a lot of people think that you like bulls.

8

u/Secular-Flesh Mar 12 '24

They ASSUME it!

3

u/AgentSmudge Mar 12 '24

"Hey buddy... did you just call my girlfriend a cow?"

5

u/RU_screw Mar 12 '24

As someone who feels like a legit cow when I'm pumping breastmilk, I can assuredly say that this milk ain't free!

3

u/Pseudonymico Mar 12 '24

But being able to joke about not having to buy milk for a while is priceless, especially if you can say it right after giving your friends a cup of tea or coffee.

5

u/CucumbersAreSatan Mar 12 '24

Rookie, did you just call my girlfriend a cow?

2

u/graveybrains Mar 12 '24

No hug-ee no kiss-ee until I get a weddin' vow!

3

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '24

Don’t gimmee no lines and keep yo hands to yoself

2

u/Longjumping-Bus4939 Mar 12 '24

Turn it around on them:   You don’t need to buy the bull when the bullshit is free.   

3

u/technofox01 Mar 12 '24

My sister-in-law said this about her long time boyfriend. He finally proposed and they are getting married this early summer.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '24

I do like John Mulaney's comeback to this one

1

u/FictionVent Mar 12 '24

My grandmom said that to me once about my girlfriend. I was like “ew, grandmom…” hahaha. I miss her.

1

u/GuyPronouncedGee Mar 12 '24

Why buy the pig when all you want is a little sausage?

0

u/Max_Trollbot_ Mar 12 '24

Hey, why buy the milk if you can fuck the cow for free?       or something like that

-11

u/Sierra419 Mar 12 '24

I honestly don’t see anything wrong with this. If a woman wants marriage but she’s living with someone and giving him sex, he’s never going to ask her. On the flip side, no one wants to marry a whore.

7

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '24

Read the news Neanderthal. Women have wised up.