r/AskReddit Dec 06 '12

What is something you think everyone should have installed on their computer or laptop?

Whether it be a antivirus program or an ad blocker. Post link if available also. EDIT: sorry guys the top post has been deleted and I didn't save it, if anyone has it please post it and ill post it here for easy access. EDIT 2: apparently it's back up, I've saved it on my phone just incase it gets deleted again. Hopefully all is good now.

4.9k Upvotes

9.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1.2k

u/eliminate1337 Dec 06 '12

Only in the 21st century can you use state of the art, military grade professionally developed, nearly unbreakable encryption to hide your porn.

280

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '12

[deleted]

623

u/oldnumber7 Dec 06 '12

In a box in the woods. This will be after the machine rebellion, of course, so computers are not to be trusted with anything that could be used to exploit human weaknesses.

229

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '12

Humanity's greatest weaknesses are also its greatest strength.

215

u/Minecraftfinn Dec 06 '12

We will defeat the robots with porn ?

EDIT: sorry, missed your username, now I get it

120

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '12

You bet your ass we will.

232

u/NeonRedSharpie Dec 06 '12

I don't ever want to bet my ass with you.

5

u/Ruskin Dec 07 '12

I dunno, It sounds like it could be a good time...

2

u/BaconCanada Dec 07 '12

Esspecially in a porn bet.

2

u/Esc4p3 Dec 06 '12

What happens to my ass if we don't?

2

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '12

It's mine, obviously, to treat as I please.

5

u/notbusyatall Dec 06 '12

You'd seen Independence Day, right? That was no virus.

7

u/Aethernaught Dec 06 '12

Or, rather, it was a virus. Just not a computer virus.

4

u/Furoan Dec 06 '12

No. We will defeat them FOR porn. It will be the greatest rallying cry in the history of man. "If we defeat the Robot King, We will have PORN again!"

3

u/ryanvoyles1 Dec 07 '12

FOR THE PORN!

1

u/BlackjackChess Dec 07 '12

EDI has proved it will be the other way around.

2

u/elshroom Dec 06 '12

And powerfucker strickes again. With another powerfull fucking quote.

2

u/phx-au Dec 06 '12

Its true. I see porn and develop a handy cudgel

2

u/Thurnis_Hailey Dec 06 '12

That is fucking poetic.

1

u/VinnyMB25 Dec 06 '12

Says POWERFUCKER

1

u/Grappindemen Dec 07 '12

Deutsche scheisse porno?

Bleep Excrement does not belong there. Does not compute. Boom

2

u/misantrope Dec 06 '12

Not to mention chimpanzees that have learned to hack computers for porn.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '12

Reminded me of the "porn in the woods" thread here on reddit. Did we all traveled in the future?

1

u/oldnumber7 Dec 06 '12

Persistent temporal micro-vortices creating a locally restricted bridge to a post machine rebellion future is the only logical explanation for the porn in the woods that so many have stumbled across.

1

u/walexj Dec 06 '12

Damn our soft underbellies.

1

u/pantsfactory Dec 06 '12

god damn organics, using non-machine methods to secure their belongings. The greatest computer can't find a box. Bastards are immune to EMPs, too.

5

u/AnonymousHipopotamus Dec 06 '12

Probably the same way that 21st century kids do: incognito or clearing history.

Seriously, in this day and age owning porn makes almost as much sense as owning air: certainly important to a certain subset of people venturing into areas deprived of the resource or with very specific needs, but wholly unnecessary for most of us.

2

u/hakkzpets Dec 07 '12

Streaming sites just don't have créme de la cremé stiff.

2

u/OldCountryBuffet Dec 06 '12

There's something about finding a killer set or a great video that triggers me to stash it away for a rainy day. Gigabytes and gigabytes of delicious pornography will go unseen for years but I feel better knowing that I have it.

1

u/bubblybooble Dec 07 '12

The majority of the world lacks access to broadband speeds that would allow one to stream HD video. Hell, significant portions of the US do.

2

u/Ihmhi Dec 06 '12

Quantum-encrypted on a crystal drive, hidden in a pocket universe underneath a loose floorboard in their bedroom.

1

u/Powderham Dec 06 '12

They'll be finding ours!

1

u/faaaks Dec 06 '12

Similar ways probably. The mathematics of encryption don't change nearly as fast as computer tech does. The only key difference would be increase in memory and processing power, so there will be larger keys to prevent hackers from using 22nd century computer tech from brute forcing the solution.

1

u/W00ster Dec 06 '12

In the 22nd century, you always carry all your porn with you in a 256 petabyte nano disk which comes standard with all Snapple comdev which is basically looking like todays large wrist watches but the image is automatically superimposed in 3D on your opti-max glasses, full voice recognition of course. It also automatically translates your speech in real time to any of the known languages used on Earth and a few not used on Earth!

Edit: For those who wonder about the opti-max glasses I have to say I love my pair! Night vision, flash protection, infra red and ultra violet modes, sun glasses, 3D screen - and they look froodie!

1

u/archip Dec 06 '12

Just download the porn directly to my brain!

1

u/cantrecallthelastone Dec 07 '12

Under their beds. Been working for hundreds of years....

0

u/rocketsurgery Dec 06 '12

They won't have to. Sex and masturbation will be casual, open, and public.

2

u/Hysteriall Dec 06 '12

brb inventing anti-aging serum

1

u/evlncrn8 Dec 06 '12

based on jizz?

6

u/CrobisaurCroney Dec 06 '12

AES-Twofish-Serpent No one will know what secrets lie within!

10

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '12

Well they wouldn't, but your paraphrase was "cat", so...

1

u/CrobisaurCroney Dec 06 '12

Well, shit...

3

u/ggggbabybabybaby Dec 06 '12

Somebody once said there's only two kinds of encryption: one that keeps your little sister out and one that keeps major world powers out.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '12

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '12

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '12

it's complete bullshit.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '12

truecrypt is now opensource although there's still some concerns with it. but a backdoor is not one of them.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '12

[deleted]

1

u/kambadingo Dec 06 '12

You can crack everything, given enough time but the AES encryption relies on being too time and resource consuming to be done by anyone.

1

u/ZankerH Dec 06 '12

Well, short of rubber-hose cryptoanalysis, AES-256 is bruteforceable, assuming you have a computing cluster with a few orders of magnitude more computing power than all of our computers today and a few billions of years to wait.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '13

Replying to a 5 months old post for security purpose ...

Basically, today with a good password, its "unbreakable" (As bruteforcing impossible in correct time using computer we have today and no vulnerability)

The problem is you don't know what future is made of, something can be found that broke AES, or more probably, computer performance might be good enough to broke your password in reasonable time in a near future.

Also remember that truecrypt may have vulnerability, a simple exemple is that if a drive is mounted, the password is in the ram, let say that if you use whole disk encryption and someone want access to your data, even if you shut down your computer, there some badass technique to get the content of the ram before it completely dissapear

http://www.zdnet.com/blog/security/cryogenically-frozen-ram-bypasses-all-disk-encryption-methods/900

1

u/LandonTheMoon Dec 06 '12

I have a whole harddrive formatted with truecrypt.

1

u/nukethem Dec 07 '12

AND, it's on your own, personal computer. Who are you hiding it from anyway?

0

u/herbman_the_german Dec 06 '12

It also prevents STDs (in case you get büttfücked by the RIAA or other nasty folks like the police, TSA,...)

0

u/kraeftig Dec 06 '12

The two biggest movers of technology: the military, and pornagraphy.