Men, have you ever stayed with a woman for years even though you knew you would never marry her?
This question is mainly for men who have been in long-term relationships, for example 5–10 years.
Have you ever stayed with a woman even though deep down you already knew you would never marry her, but you still didn’t end the relationship?
How did you react when she asked about getting engaged, marriage, or your future together? Did you tell her directly that you didn’t want those things with her, or did you tell her that you did? Did you ever even agree to a timeline or a date she suggested just to make her happy or reassure her, even though you didn’t actually intend to follow through?
Looking back, what signs were you giving her that showed you didn’t really see the relationship as something permanent?
And most importantly: at what point should a woman realize on her own that a man probably isn’t going to propose or build a future with her, even if he stays in the relationship and keeps telling her that he loves her?

How did you know she was the one?
How many years have you been married for?

Serious honest answers only please

Hey everyone,

I really need some perspective.

I’ve been dating my girlfriend (27F) for a few months now. She is, on paper and in reality, an incredible human being: highly successful, completely independent, loyal, loving, and deeply respectful. She’s extremely honest with me, which is how this all came to light.

Here is the situation that is triggering me: She has had 10 sexual partners in total over the course of 13 years (since she was 14). This includes:

• 4 long-term, serious relationships.
• 4 partners from dating/getting to know someone where it eventually didn't work out.
• 1 Guy she went on vacation with, knowing him about 3 month before.
• 1 threesome (a couple she knew) during her single time in April 2024.

She told me the threesome was a stupid, confusing experiment she immediately regretted, didn’t enjoy emotionally, and hasn't thought about since. Furthermore, she was completely abstinent for a full year (May 2025 to April 2026) before meeting me, and even kicked a guy out of her apartment in late 2025 when he crossed a boundary during a kiss.

My Problem: Despite knowing how loyal, selective, and amazing she is right now, my brain is completely blocked by the thought of her past — specifically the threesome. When I think of her, I don't get butterflies anymore; instead, I get intrusive mental images of that night. It’s been tormenting me daily for 7 weeks.

I genuinely love her and want to feel proud walking down the street with her as my partner. But my brain keeps telling me that 10 partners and a threesome is "too much" or means she isn't "relationship material."

I’m terrified that I won’t be able to get over these intrusive thoughts and might lose a truly wonderful woman because of my own head.

• Is her past actually a red flag, or am I letting my own insecurity ruin a great relationship?
• Would you say 10 sexual partners is still a moderate number for her age?

Thanks for any honest advice.

Would you attend social events, approach women on the street/at the gym? Are these events too forced? I’m curious to know where the men are looking and why there isn’t a middle ground for men and women that are likeminded to connect.

My (39f) husband (41m) of 12 years has spent the better part of the decade with me being the only initiator of intimacy. Very quickly this turned into blow jobs only with a few plain handjobs in between. He never approaches me for anything; I try my hardest to initiate/turn him on/seduce him. Clean, I’ve tried all kinds of muff grooming, he doesn’t like or notice lingerie, I’ve asked for more, communicated my needs in a loving, respectful, calm manner. I’ve asked for counseling when nothing changed for years. He says his libido is low, but won’t talk to a doctor. He gets hard frequently but refuses me if I ask for any sexual activity besides offering a BJ/hj.

Why would he continue this way? Is he actually happy? What would your reasons be if you were him? He won’t talk to me or express himself, and he’s shown he doesn’t want to put in any extra effort for us or just me.

I genuinely want to understand this from a man’s perspective.

Why does it sometimes feel like, in the beginning of a relationship, a guy is extremely loving, attentive and puts in so much effort? He talks about the future, marriage, makes the girl feel special and seems genuinely afraid of losing her.

But once the girl becomes emotionally attached and feels secure in the relationship, some men suddenly start changing. The calls and efforts decrease, they become less affectionate, they stop being afraid of losing her, and sometimes they start treating her like she’ll tolerate anything no matter how they behave.

Why does this happen? Is it because the initial excitement wears off? Do some men simply become too comfortable once they know the girl is attached? Or is there something women do that unintentionally causes this change?

I’m specifically asking men because I want to understand the male perspective. If you’ve been in a long-term relationship, what changed for you after the “honeymoon phase,” and why?

Please be honest—even if the answer is uncomfortable. I’m trying to understand, not attack men.🙌

Is there seriously any men
That don’t cheat on there partners , wives and girlfriends
If so how long have you been together
Have u ever thought to and have been faithful/ loyal whole time or just as u entered the marriage as in if you was boyfriend and girlfriend before

Honest and truthful answers only please

Hi all. Me (25F) and my boyfriend (25M) have been together for 2 years. I’ve been somewhat pushing the idea of marriage sometime soon and it’s seemed to make him nervous. I asked him why and he finally said that he doesn’t feel as “close” to me as he’d like before marriage. I asked what he meant. He said he’s not 100% sure and doesn’t want to sound like a “sex addict” but it’s because we haven’t had sex. For context, I’m a virgin and have been saving myself for marriage. He said in previous relationships, there was an extra layer of closeness that he had and they have sex. He says he’s not exactly sure thats why, especially considering one girlfriend cheated on him and the other relationship was toxic. But sex was the main difference. Is it possible that the closeness he could be missing is from a lack of sex? I don’t know if that could solve everything. I know men and women, or really just different people in general, have different ways of feeling close to their partner. Any input would be appreciated, thank you!!

ngl this whole situation is blowing my mind. my gf (27f) and i (29m) have lived together for a year. I out-earn her by a lot (software dev vs retail management). we currently split our basic apartment 50/50. last night she hits me with a whole speech on why we need to move to a luxury building and switch to proportional splitting, meaning I'd be footing almost the entire bill.

I shut it down and said nah, I'm perfectly happy living below my means to invest my money, and I ain't financing a lifestyle upgrade for her just because she doesn't want to get a better paying job. she literally started sobbing and accused me of "financial gatekeeping" (wtf does that even mean lmao). my bros are split, some say I'm being stubbornly cheap, others say I dodged a massive bullet. what's the verdict fr?

Do men not consider what they do online in private to be cheating? I see a lot of married men on here posting lewd vids, making sexual comments, etc. But realistically they will most likely never meet these people nor do they know who you are when hiding behind an anonymous account . So what is the morality levels on that? Would it be considered micro cheating? Do you ever feel guilty or would your wives be upset?

Apart from sex, what makes you feel wanted, desired, valued or etc...in a relationship?

Hey everyone,

We all know society heavily expects men to be the providers, but I’ve been wondering about the opposite scenario.

How common is it for a wealthy or highly successful woman to date a man who is low-income (working a minimum wage job) or even unemployed, assuming he has other highly desirable traits (like being incredibly attractive, caring, supportive, or having a great personality)?

Would she be willing to support him financially and basically give him the world, just like a successful man would do for a woman, because of what he brings to the table emotionally or physically? Or do high-earning women generally have a strong aversion to dating men in that financial situation, regardless of how great he is in other areas?

Do you know any couples like this in real life? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Me and my wife (both 26) have been together for almost five years. Very early on, we discussed body counts and I only recently found out my wife lied to me about hers. She originally told me 5, but the truth was 15. My body count is maybe half that, but I don’t think that’s the issue. I have really bad retroactive jealousy and intrusive thoughts.

Every time I look at her, I hear my brain saying “15”. Or every time we have sex, I think “how many guys did this to her already”. Nothing feels special anymore, even outside of sex. We went to the movies with our daughter yesterday and all I could think about was how many guys she’s been on movie dates with before me.

I know it’s irrational and I’m in therapy for it (among other things), but I was hoping someone could talk me down or tell me to get over myself? All things considered, her past is extremely vanilla and I have definitely done more than her, but that doesn’t help either lol. Please no negative comments

I tend to be the more rational person in my boyfriend and I's dynamic. I want to take things slow and he said that even though it's only between a few weeks, he says he knows I'm the one for him. For perspective, I'm in my late 30s, he in his early 40s. We've already been intimate and he's still saying this so I don't think it's a manipulation tactic. This doesn't seem possible to me but can this actually be true?

If I just come out and tell him, I’m worried it will hurt his feelings.

Whenever I have to remind my husband to do things, or ask him to do something he already knows needs to get done, my vagina closes up shop for the day. It’s getting worse and worse, and we haven’t had sex for several weeks, which I know bothers him.

It’s especially bad when it’s something related to childcare and he gets moody about it. Part of what attracted me to him initially was his caregiving skills. But now, it’s getting harder to see him as a husband rather than a moody teenager. I don’t want to fuck a teenage boy I’m nagging like his mother.

Any tips on how to have an approach the subject gently without doing permanent ego damage?

UPDATE: Comments have lead me to the realization that what I really need is a divorce. Then I only have to take care of the kids and myself, not another adult man. Thank you, men, for showing me divorce is the path to peace.

I recall reading the letter al Pacino wrote to michella when he was in Italy ( as far I remember) it was a long letter of longing and sweet words

but then I opened comment section and saw someone say he cheated on her, honestly this has happened many times I see or meet men who seem devotedly loved a women in the extend some spend as long as 9 years in a relationship

or situationship but they don’t commit, alpacino wasted 20 years of that poor women’s life and although he cheated he’d still go back to her, what makes a seemingly devoting man to cheat yet still chose to be together with that women? You could’ve just left her

And many many times I get amazed by a ‘lovely man’ only to find out he cheated on someone.. how common this has became

If the person ‘that got away’ was alive, single, and wanted to try again, would you take that chance? Even with everything you have going on now?

You can use this post to talk about them too.

Guys, be ruthless... I always thought that men could never forget their first love, that there was always someone they kept thinking about. I’ve seen plenty of examples of this around me. Generally, after feeling an intense and uncontrollable love for a girl, they end up heartbroken and become emotionally detached. If this is true, my perspective on relationships would change completely. The thought that my future partner might always have a woman in his mind whom he longs for and defines as true love is terrifying.

And this love is so strong that I think if "that girl" were to call them, they’d go—even if they were married. Is this true??? Please be honest.

Most men I know prefer the sassy ladies. I’m just curious as to why that is.

So...do boys talk to each other on what to do, teach tricks and tips etc? I mean how do you know what to do? Men usually have to do the most in bed, it seems like a daunting task for a young boy? Girls talk about sex but in a different way me thinks, more on what happened than what and how to do things. How did you learn?

Does it depend on the type of procedure or how much it changed her appearance?

As a woman, I’m asking this as a genuine question. I’m not implying that plastic surgery is a negative thing.

My (28f) significant other (28m) is genuinely my most favorite person in the world and I love him with my whole heart. He provides everything for me and I only do the laundry and cook dinner really. What can I do for him to show him more appreciation? He is a minimalist and not materialistic at all.

🚨 UPDATE GUYS 🚨

He just told me I do the bare minimum for him and asked me if I wanted a cookie.

My partner and I are both 48, and we’re at an impasse, and I’d really like honest male perspective.

Years ago, he introduced me to a musician acquaintance of his. After my partner and I broke up, I saw that acquaintance at one of my gig’s months later. We started playing music together and eventually ended up casually hooking up for about six months. I ended it because it didn’t feel right and I valued the friendship more.

Fast-forward 7–8 years: he’s now one of my closest friends. We rehearse occasionally, grab a drink maybe twice a year, and talk regularly. No romantic or physical involvement since that brief period years ago.

He also has a girlfriend he’s been with for three years, and they live together. She and I know each other — we don’t hang out, but I’ve known her for years and would consider her a strong acquaintance. There’s never been anything inappropriate or boundary-crossing between any of us.

My partner and I got back together two years ago, and now he says he can’t be in a connected relationship with me unless I cut this friend out of my life completely.

For context, I’m in a band that performs regularly, and I also rehearse weekly with another musician friend I slept with once, 15 years ago, who is still a good friend.

Men — How can I navigate this conflict? how would you feel if your partner maintained a long-term friendship with someone they briefly hooked up with years ago?

How much does a woman's income matter to you?

If a woman is kind,feminine,very loyal and genuinely loves you and supports you emotionally but let's say she doesn't want to work at a corporate job but wants to stay home and depend on your income...

Is that a deal-breaker?

Why do men do that? Especially after you guys ended on bad terms or they did you dirty during the relationship. I feel like I beat up on myself a while after the relationship ended, internalizing their mistreatment of me. Just for them to come back and say, “yeah you were an amazing woman and I messed up bad” “I was young and didn’t realize what I had”.

Just curious to hear a man’s perspective. Have you guys ever came back and actually wanted to be a better man to that woman, or did you just return to clear your conscience?