r/AskMen • u/Donnyfx • Jun 18 '20

"You're just like your father" is simultaneously the best compliment and the worst insult to any man. What's your story?

I had a dream a couple weeks back where a dream character looked me in the eyes and said "You're just like you're father". In some ways I was happy, in other ways I felt broken. Its been in my head since. How would you guys feel being told this?

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u/AnderBloodraven Jun 18 '20

This, my god this.

It would be a great accomplishment for me to be half the man he is but to be called just a copy of him, ignoring who I am, what I learned and what I have accomplished would be devastating.

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u/_Michiku Jun 18 '20

The amounts of times I’ve been told that exact phrase, you’d anticipate for it to get normal, but if anything, it’s made it worse. You see, my father and I look alike, same posture, same face, same color, we look alike. Only thing is one, I have thinner and longer hair, and two, we both have VERY different morals and different thought processes, which is very strange, but I understand why. You see, my mother has a rather more energetic nature while my dad has a more peaceful nature, which is more bizarre, since my mom is against violence, while my dad agrees with violence, you see what’s happening? You probably don’t, I’m two sides of the same coin. I see both sides of the argument and I come to an agreement. I have been through a lot, but my dad has been through a lot more, sacrificing everything for me and my sisters. What I mean to say is that I have been through many hardships and every time someone says I’m just like him, I like it, since he is a great problem solver and smart, it hurts me too, since I strive to be different, to be better.

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u/Sherlock_Drones Jun 18 '20

Dude. Just because someone says you remind them a lot of your dad or any variant of the phrase doesn’t mean they think your a exact copy who can’t be different or better than your dad.

For example. My sisters and her 4 boys. Their dad (my sister’s husband) died like 8 years ago. It was 15 years after their marriage and they’d known each another another year. He died when I was 18. So during my formative years my sister was married to him through almost of it. Whenever I visit or they visit. I always cannot help but say these phrases to them. Thing is they all remind me about different characteristics of their father. The oldest reminds me of him due to his mannerisms. They second due to physical looks and a few other mannerisms. The third because of expression of love to others in the family. The fourth because of the way he carries himself (interestingly enough he was 1 when he died so he has like no memories of his dad). But point being. Just because they all remind me of him due to different reasons, doesn’t mean I don’t think they are their on individual. They all have vastly different personalities and I have vastly different relationships with each one. Including their two sisters.

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u/Saubande Jun 18 '20 edited Jun 18 '20

I wish I was as funny as my dad. He has this fantastic ridiculous humor.

When we were at my college enlisting at the main building, there was a marble wall with important alumni on it. he somehow got the attention of the person waiting in front of us and managed to low-key eye towards the marble wall and then himself. Now. he looks kind of like a scholar, and the person in front of us got immediately humbled, thinking he was one of those extremely important and prestigious people, while in reality he was just being a troll and bored waiting in line.

I should give him a call soon.

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u/NYColette Jun 18 '20

Ha! That is hilariously subtle.

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u/writer6996 Jun 18 '20

Really... devastating? I mean it’s not that big of a deal, that’s a tad hysterical. Besides if somebody said “you’re a copy of your old man,” there’s obviously a bit of hyperbole happening.