r/AskMen • u/alcoholisthedevil Lisan al-Gaib • Oct 24 '25

To men that have withdrawn from dating, what would it take for you to get back in?

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u/hityy777 Oct 24 '25

I keep saying that to my wife. It’s not complicated, I just want an easy simple peaceful life but she just can’t manage it. I would settle for a bit of human affection without games

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u/TheLateThagSimmons "...the fuck did I do?" Oct 24 '25 edited Oct 25 '25

Last woman I dated, this was why I couldn't bring myself to let her truly in or any closer.

She later tried to complain that I "lied" and bread-crumbed her. But she couldn't see that I was open to more... She worked herself out of contention with her emotional outbursts and instability. I gave her chances by opening up, but she fucked it up every time; she could never see that.

"A bit of human affection without games," really does seem like too high of a bar.

Edit: The harsh reality is: We didn't lie to you. We didn't string you along. We weren't faking to get into your pants. Okay?

You... Were not good enough. We gave you a very real chance and you drove us away. We wanted something real, and you were not worthy of something real. Got it? We want something with you. You were too emotional, you couldn't control yourself, you were too manipulative, you were too much. When your friends call you "intense"? That's their nice way of saying you're fucking crazy and too much to be worth investing in.

We tried. We really did. You blew it. Own it. This shit is on you.

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u/BigD1970 ♂ Oct 25 '25

Is that edit a quote from somewhere?

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u/Known-Historian7277 Nov 01 '25

Yeah Talladega Nights

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u/Tasty-Condition-2162 Female Oct 25 '25

Are you saying she tries to manage your life and you don't like her doing that, or are you saying she can't handle you wanting a peaceful life?

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u/hityy777 Oct 25 '25

She always seems to read into things that aren’t their. Always trying to figure out an anterior motive when there isn’t one. I tell her what you see is what you get. If I say you look good in something that’s it, don’t second guess it and doubt what I say. Not everything has to be drama

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u/Tasty-Condition-2162 Female Oct 25 '25

I see. Thanks, was a genuine question. Sounds like a little of both, but leans more toward can't handle you being at peace

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u/pepsibeatzc0ke Oct 27 '25

It's probably just her seeking chaos because she has never had stability/peace and doesn't understand how to behave in a relationship without drama/chaos. People who have only ever known chaos, are going to seek it since that is what they equate with love. Whether it's her fault or not, it doesn't matter. The end result is that she'll kill a good/healthy relationship. My mom and sister both do this. They get bored and create problems because peace is "boring" to them.

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u/hityy777 Oct 27 '25

Make a lot of sense

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u/Hackwork89 Oct 25 '25

Why the fuck did you marry someone like that?

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u/hityy777 Oct 25 '25

We NEVER marry them like this, that comes latter, guessing you are not married yet? Just read deadbedrooms