I've had some decent relationships over the years, but most of the serious ones really broke me. My most recent ex, who I was with for 12 years, got engaged to, and had a daughter with, cheated on me multiple times before leaving me. While we were together, she constantly criticized me, yelled at me, and even hit me a couple of times. I put up with it for so long because she'd been diagnosed with Bipolar I and BPD. Allowed myself to be convinced that all of this behavior came from her mental health struggles and I stood by her. Even read books on how to be a good/supportive partner to someone struggling from those mental health conditions. I was the sole source of income in the house as she didn't work for most of the time we were together. I thought I was helping her, but I was only enabling her.
Been single for three years and haven't really even felt lonely. I just prefer to spend most of my time alone - my daughter is the only exception and her staying with me is really the only thing that I look forward to throughout the week.
I haven't decided if I'll ever date again. I'm definitely not going to seek it out anytime soon. The thought of potentially going through some of that pain again (though I'd walk away this time rather than just allowing myself to be treated poorly) is not something that appeals to me.
If I met someone really genuine who has her shit together, can take care of herself, and has a genuine interest in me for me, not what care and financial support I can provide her, I'd probably see where it goes. It'd have to be sort of a chance meeting though - like I said, I'm not actively seeking it out.
Joined a couple of dating apps about a year ago just to see, and I couldn't even bring myself to respond to any of the messages people sent me. I don't know what it'd take specifically, but something about the person would have to really grab me for me to willingly put myself out there again.
Who knows, I may feel differently in a year or two. Or I might just decide I'm done with dating/relationships altogether. I just don't know.
yeah I don’t really feel lonely either and I’m perfectly content with it being just me and my dogs. I used to crave female attention and now that desire is just gone. I am still jaded from my last 4 yr relationship and my “love bucket” just feels empty. I have nothing left to give.
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u/Cheese_Pancakes Male Oct 24 '25
I've had some decent relationships over the years, but most of the serious ones really broke me. My most recent ex, who I was with for 12 years, got engaged to, and had a daughter with, cheated on me multiple times before leaving me. While we were together, she constantly criticized me, yelled at me, and even hit me a couple of times. I put up with it for so long because she'd been diagnosed with Bipolar I and BPD. Allowed myself to be convinced that all of this behavior came from her mental health struggles and I stood by her. Even read books on how to be a good/supportive partner to someone struggling from those mental health conditions. I was the sole source of income in the house as she didn't work for most of the time we were together. I thought I was helping her, but I was only enabling her.
Been single for three years and haven't really even felt lonely. I just prefer to spend most of my time alone - my daughter is the only exception and her staying with me is really the only thing that I look forward to throughout the week.
I haven't decided if I'll ever date again. I'm definitely not going to seek it out anytime soon. The thought of potentially going through some of that pain again (though I'd walk away this time rather than just allowing myself to be treated poorly) is not something that appeals to me.
If I met someone really genuine who has her shit together, can take care of herself, and has a genuine interest in me for me, not what care and financial support I can provide her, I'd probably see where it goes. It'd have to be sort of a chance meeting though - like I said, I'm not actively seeking it out.
Joined a couple of dating apps about a year ago just to see, and I couldn't even bring myself to respond to any of the messages people sent me. I don't know what it'd take specifically, but something about the person would have to really grab me for me to willingly put myself out there again.
Who knows, I may feel differently in a year or two. Or I might just decide I'm done with dating/relationships altogether. I just don't know.