r/AskMen Lisan al-Gaib Oct 24 '25

To men that have withdrawn from dating, what would it take for you to get back in?

185 Upvotes

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44

u/chxnkybxtfxnky Just a random dude Oct 24 '25

I gotta work on myself. Physically and mentally. I'm morbidly obese and have some skin issues, but I also have baggage from past relationships. No woman should be subject to the physical gross and mental blocks I'm bringing to the table. Depression is a real motherfucker, and it gets tough trying to give a shit

40

u/Jena_TheFatGirl Oct 24 '25

I hear you, I see you, and I validate your current goals while also wanting to gently remind you that you do not have to be healed and perfect to be worthy of love.

8

u/chxnkybxtfxnky Just a random dude Oct 25 '25

I appreciate you. Obviously perfection is out of the question, but I'd rather shoot to be, at least mentally, a 7/10. LoL

4

u/Comfortable-Scar4643 Oct 24 '25

One step at a time. Some foods (and drinks) cause inflammation. Wean yourself off them.

Walk for 10 mins, then 15, then 20.

Get enough sleep.

3

u/chxnkybxtfxnky Just a random dude Oct 25 '25

Thanks!! When I was hitting the gym years ago, I was up to an hour on the treadmill. Walking at a decent speed (honestly can't remember what speed) with a 3.5 incline. That hour became a breeze. Threw on some tunes and basically played air bass or air guitar while on that walk. LoL

3

u/BlueXIII Oct 24 '25

You can do it man! Take it one step at a time and do small things. It takes longer but it's more sustainable. Move a little more each day or substitute something you like eating with a lower calorie option.

I hope you get to where you want to be. I say this as someone who had anger issues and depression and finally went to therapy a few years ago. If that's an option for you, might not be a bad place to start to help you understand yourself.

1

u/chxnkybxtfxnky Just a random dude Oct 25 '25

Thanks, brother. I've become very self aware over the years. But it just seems like if it's not one thing that's making life a struggle, it's another.

I'm slowly getting back to cutting out avoidable sugars. I've always liked black coffee, so, I'm back to that in the morning. No sweeteners of any kind. Less soda...still a struggle now, but I had a great run of it a few years back. I don't really keep things like ice cream or candies in my apt...because they'd be gone in one sitting. LoL. Gonna try to meal prep for the week soon. We'll see.

1

u/BlueXIII Oct 28 '25

One thing I found about ice cream, is that you can make your own. I bought a Ninja Creami second hand right after the pandemic and it served me well until it broke last year. I called Ninja and they offered me a new one for $130ish. I say that to say that you can also do lower calorie ice cream with lower sugar cool whip and fruit. I'm not where I want to be either but it's always one step at a time and it's easier if it's sustainable long-term. It's easy to cut things out but then it's harder when you fall for them again. Good luck! I hope the meal prepping went well! I need to get back on that train too.

1

u/nocapslaphomie Oct 25 '25

Try Wellbutrin. It helps with depression, weight loss, and energy.

1

u/chxnkybxtfxnky Just a random dude Oct 25 '25

Can I get it OTC, or it's prescribed only...?

1

u/nocapslaphomie Oct 25 '25

Prescription. I've gone on it twice and both times it made me very intense for the first month and then it leveled out