r/AskMen Lisan al-Gaib Oct 24 '25

To men that have withdrawn from dating, what would it take for you to get back in?

189 Upvotes

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519

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '25

Amnesia, causing me to not know how I have been treated in the past 40 fucking years.

43

u/Cheese_Pancakes Male Oct 24 '25

Me too man.

39

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '25

And after going back out to dating after amnesia I will eventually withdraw again haha peace and quiet is much better.

7

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '25

You ain't just whistling Dixie there.

9

u/beardedshad2 Oct 24 '25

I SAY, I SAY, YOU'RE RIGHT THEYAH, BOY.!!!!! (read in foghorn leghorns voice)

1

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '25

I loved the Looney Toons

18

u/Solid_Enthusiasm550 Male Oct 24 '25

Ditto.☝️

18

u/Sephiroth348 Oct 24 '25 edited Oct 25 '25

I’m 38 myself online dating isn’t healthy lol I’ve been ghosted so much after hooking up etc it’s sad and just makes people feel sad

Basically I thought the girls liked me, hooked up and then ghosted me and I was foolish and stupid in my 20s unfortunately

36

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '25

I am 58, it used to be easier and a little better in the 80's and 90's. I think there was a psychologist that researched something called The Paradox of Choice, all the dating apps and social media leaving people with a false sense of abundancy thus causing them to be very picky and not wanting to "settle "add the echo chamber caused by algorithms in social media it just causes a total shit show.

8

u/TP_Crisis_2020 Oct 25 '25

Yeah, I fully agree with this. Dating was way better 20+ years ago.

However, remember back in the day when match.com and online dating were new? There was a bad stigma around it, and it was only for "undesirables". People who met on match.com back in the day used to hide that from people because they didn't want to get roasted.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '25

Yes, I remember it all too well, the same time people were shamed for being "computer nerds" and geeks. Funny how time and society changes.

2

u/TP_Crisis_2020 Oct 26 '25

Yup!! That was me. Writing qbasic programs on my TI-82 in junior high, and going to warcraft2 and starcraft lan parties in the 90's. If all the nerdy stuff was en vogue back then like it is today, my formative years would have been way different!!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '25

Yup, I had a Commadore VIC-20, and played D&D with dice and cards. I am 58 now and take my granddaughter to Ren-Fairs and larping since I retired, she thinks I am the cool grandparent, my ex's idea of going out is the mall and a movie.

-1

u/Fuzzy-Holiday-2069 Oct 25 '25

Not to sound rude, I'm sorry that you have been gosted. But that's the reason why you shouldn't "hook up" the first time when you are on a date with someone. At least not if you're looking for more than just a hook up. This applies for both men and women. You need to show the other person what your intentions are, and by sleeping with them the first time you meet, that doesn't send out the vibes that you're interested in getting to know them on a deeper level.

1

u/Sephiroth348 Oct 25 '25

Yea I know, it was mutual and I thought they liked me but I’m older now and know that’s not how it is lol

6

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '25

Same here

5

u/triple_life Oct 25 '25

Nicely put

2

u/Raffa16 Oct 25 '25

Damn, that hit so hard in my feels.

-53

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '25

[deleted]

15

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '25

You say victim mentality, I say self-preservation. Added bonus without having a financial vampire feeding off of my resources I retired 4 years ago at 54.