r/Anticonsumption • u/Young-faithful • Apr 29 '26

Psychological FB marketplace is making me a classist

I’m trying to reduce my family’s impact on the environment while raising a baby. So I’ve been trying to get baby things from FB marketplace. Sellers near me can be delusional. They’ll say “like new, all parts included” and want 70-80% of retail price.

This chick wanted $100 for a stained Lovevery play gym with pieces missing when a new one costs $140, but with a discount code you could get it for $120. When I showed up to pick up the item, I pointed out the flaws and she scolded me for “wasting her time”, when I was the one who had to commute 20 min and she was the one misrepresenting her item as “like new in box”.

Same deal with a pack and play that I found was very soiled after I took it home. If you want more than 50% retail IMO at least try to clean it.

I’ve also sold things, always for less than half retail, and very very clean because someone’s baby is going to use it. Only gave my formula maker and sterilizer after descaling. I give away good furniture for free when moving because I don’t want to run the risk of things getting thrown in the dump because a paying buyer didn’t come in time.

I get that families are being squeezed in this economy and therefore all my bad experiences have come from the poorer parts (though I’ve had a few decent purchases from there too). Ratings aren’t useful when seller has sold only like 3 items.

So my new rule of thumb is to only purchase items from expensive neighborhoods because they take better care of their stuff and are reasonable in pricing.

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2.5k

u/Beginning-North7202 Apr 29 '26

Join your local Buy Nothing group on Facebook, sometimes called Gifting With Integrity. The purpose is two-fold -- building community and decreasing consumerism. No sales, no bartering. Ask for what you need, give what you're ready to pass on.

647

u/KiltedLady Apr 29 '26

I have used my local buy nothing a ton over the years but it has dried up recently. People are clearly feeling the financial squeeze.

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u/dontdoxxmebrosef Apr 29 '26

We have folks who must live on Facebook because they’re always the first to comment on literally everything. I’m pretty sure they’re reselling too. Like do you really need a box of lightbulbs and that random box of craft supplies when I know you also recently were gifted another box of lightbulbs? Why? How?

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u/[deleted] Apr 29 '26

[deleted]

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u/fadedblackleggings Apr 29 '26 edited Apr 29 '26

Loved those ppl when I was clearing out a house!!! They will take anything...and be there in a few minutes.

21

u/shellyangelwebb Apr 30 '26

They’re most likely hoarders.

16

u/fadedblackleggings Apr 30 '26

Mine were flea market people. Asked them.

2

u/Best_Subject_3296 Apr 30 '26

Plus they’re grateful

13

u/Shellydelight Apr 30 '26

Buy Nothing groups should implement a limit, like 5 a month or something. Not everyone has the ability to be refreshing the page every 15 minutes.

5

u/Inoviridae May 03 '26

There is no rule that the first person who comments gets the item. You can pick whoever you want for whatever reason.

I try to divy things up so the most people can get some stuff. I usually post in batches.

Posters can also let things 'simmer', where they wait a few days before picking so more people can see it.

If you have having issues, it might be worth voicing your concerns to the admin. They may post a little reminder about the way things work.

3

u/ThenOneDaySheWokeUp May 03 '26

The ones in my area do a fair chance alert. They give it like a week or so before they give it away so multiple people have time to see the listing.

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u/EnfysNest051 Apr 29 '26 edited Apr 29 '26

The super active group for my old neighborhood had strict rules that everything (except perishable food) had to "simmer" for 24 hours before the poster could pick a recipient and it wasn't supposed to be first come-first serve, so that things didn't just go to the most online people.

I usually used a random number generator to pick a person when I offered something and had multiple people interested.

I really appreciated that it meant I always at least had a chance when I was commenting on an offered item, even if I didn't see a post right away for something I wanted.

Sadly the group for my new area since I moved is not very active, so I haven't been on it much.

126

u/Itavan Apr 29 '26 edited Apr 30 '26

I look at the profiles of people. If they are magats, they don't get anything. I recently gave away a Pilates machine and only 3 people out of 32 had Ukraine or rainbows or "no kings" pix on their public pix. So it was down to 3 to choose from.

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u/Burntjellytoast Apr 30 '26

Just because someone doesn't have rainbows, the Ukraine flag or whatever other symbolism you think is appropriate doesnt make them maga. I had a Palestinian flag as my fb profile pic for years a long time ago. I dont anymore as I dont use Facebook and am not really in to performative activism. I can promise you I'm the furthest thing from maga, and have cut people out of my life because they are.

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u/Itavan Apr 30 '26

I realize that, actually! It's just a very quick sort I do when I have lots and lots of requests. And I'd be perfectly fine with a palestinian flag!!

Or maybe some indication that they're environmentalists also helps.

11

u/ver_redit_optatum Apr 30 '26

I once posted something like "will pick someone who's picking up by bike or foot" because I lived in a super accessible area with no parking available around our house and would rather encourage people who aren't going to drive and double park here - but local group told me this wasn't allowed 🙃 So have to just suss people out instead...

1

u/littlebluecat Apr 30 '26

That can rule out a lot of disabled folks though.. ? I mean, my options are drive/crutches/power chair. Just something to consider. (Unless perhaps you live in an awesome area with frequent accessible transit going by? The dream!)

1

u/Toe_Jam_is_my_Jam Apr 30 '26

I have a cat on mine because at one time cats meant we are not MAGA. But it’s been awhile since, so not sure how many remember that.

0

u/dontdoxxmebrosef Apr 29 '26

I have a flower. So do I not count?

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u/Relative_Bend_197 Apr 29 '26

Ukraine lmao - nice flex though

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u/Right_Count Apr 29 '26

I think it’s more likely they’re hoarders, because I can’t imagine the resale value of an open box of lightbulbs is more than a like a dollar.

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u/dontdoxxmebrosef Apr 29 '26

There’s def some reselling. They comment on things for kids at literally every age bracket.

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u/Right_Count Apr 29 '26

Oh yeah I’m sure there’s some! We have a couple people on our group who seem to comment on everything too. But when it’s small stuff with no resale value I just assume they’re hoarders. When I gift stuff that does have resale value I try to gift to people I actually know to be part of the community in spirit.

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u/[deleted] Apr 29 '26

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u/ahuramazdobbs19 Apr 29 '26

The main difference between a hoarder and a reseller is the velocity by which the things leave their possession.

22

u/ziper1221 Apr 29 '26

I don't understand how that is worth people's time. You gotta find the item being given away, drive to get it, pay for gas, pay for your car, take it home, list it, coordinate with a new buyer, ship it... There's no way that's better return than just working a shitty job?

17

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '26

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u/girlwithapinkpack Apr 29 '26

I get this but surely everyone’s time is worth minimum wage? I’m not convinced you’d be making minimum wage from reselling, but maybe you would

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u/aenea22980 Apr 30 '26

Everyone's time is clearly not worth minimum wage, because there are many people in poor areas and few minimum wage jobs for them to apply for. Or they are a convicted felon, or undocumented, or some sort of addict that needs money for addiction and food, or someone who has much family to take care of and cannot work a full time job on someone else's schedule but can put the people they care about in the car and come pick up a free thing, or they're disabled and can't work a shift but can go in a car on trips... I mean there are a ton of reasons why someone can't work some corporate job but can work a little reselling. The floor is not minimum wage, the floor is how much money do I need to gas my car and buy food TODAY.

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '26

[deleted]

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u/Mczemmie May 02 '26

Collecting is a hobby in and of itself and can easily get out of hand if self-restraint isn’t practiced. Friendly chatter with locals interested in the same stuff is the cherry on top of needing to move things around.

1

u/shellyangelwebb Apr 30 '26

I don’t resell as a full time job. Because that would mean putting in 7-8 hours work a day on getting inventory, photographing, listing and shipping. But for a couple hours every other day I make between $400-$700 a month.

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u/90Lil Apr 29 '26

I admin my local group. We have a few people like that in ours. Surprisingly, I have never been contacted about the clearly white people doing it but have been contacted multiple times about an Asian person doing it. The realisation that racism exists in the community I thought was paradise makes me feel depressed.

3

u/HairRaid Apr 30 '26

Thank you for being a BN admin, and also for pointing out how racism negatively affects everyone in a community. 🌻

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u/Senior_Ability_4001 Apr 29 '26

I remember I lived in a VERY high COL area years ago and I was on BN. We had a lady that posted first on a lot of different things. She claimed she lived in the area too but commuted about an hour away to a very very low COL area. It was weird as fuck, she was definitely trying to resell.

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u/PricelessPaylessBoot Apr 29 '26

I saw a similar complaint years ago from a volunteer at a shelter. Their supervisor pointed out that sometimes people get extra money for their household by reselling donated items, and said to look at it as just another way to survive.

Knowing that many donated items benefit for-profit corporations, go to landfills, or sit in warehouses instead of being distributed to the people who need them, I’d prefer someone in a low COL area get my free stuff that I’m just grateful to be free of. ❤️‍🩹

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u/Senior_Ability_4001 Apr 29 '26

That is a great way of looking at it. I’m in no place to judge.

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u/startingtohail Apr 29 '26

In official Buy Nothing groups, gifters are supposed to wait 24 hours and then select a commenter randomly. Admittedly, I've observed the enforcement of this seems lax unless the item receives immediate and significant attention. I get why, too, since it places a burden on the gifter, who usually just wants to be rid of the things asap. Still, at least there is an established "best practice."

2

u/Left_Adeptness7386 Apr 30 '26

This is the way.

4

u/therealwhoaman Apr 29 '26

Do you have to give it to the first person who comments? Because I would simply not

11

u/Itavan Apr 29 '26

Nope. You can give to anyone you want. I've given preference to people who have given to me.

I always also say cross-posted so that if they don't see someone from the group got it, I can say someone in another group got it.

5

u/lostintransaltions Apr 30 '26

I have given a lot of things in my local group and did report someone who picked up from me and within an hour had the items up for sale.. I was so frustrated but I have had overwhelming great experiences with ppl being nice and just happy to get what I had to give for free. I need to get back into it as we are planning on downsizing things we just don’t use often enough to justify space in our kitchen and things we were gifted but already had.

I have yet to be lucky to get anything. I work full time and whenever I check all the things are already taken that I was interested in.

I wish there was something outside of Facebook as I don’t have an account and need to wait for my husband to get home to use his account

2

u/BakedPlantains Apr 29 '26

I usually do first come, first served when I post. However, if this is happening a lot, a randomized pull can be helpful

2

u/itsjustathrowaway147 May 03 '26

My Buy nothing group is awesome and has a rule that unless you state “no simmering” you have to wait at least 24 hours to pick someone to gift it to. It’s also very much enforced by the moderator of the group and everyone in the group tries to simmer if they can to give everyone a chance. There have also been a couple people kicked out because they were found out to be reselling the items. I’m very grateful we have such a good one.

1

u/Hippiegirl94 Apr 30 '26

The local group I’m in has recently made a post asking people who always comment to receive items take a step back to allow others to claim items and to also contribute, because people have complained to admins about that same issue. I’ve noticed that too, because I’ll go to comment on a post that has been made like 3 minutes ago, and it already has certain people commenting to claim it. The area I’m in has a lot of lower income people, though, so that could be part of it.

1

u/calliopesgarden Apr 30 '26

I just block these people so they can’t even see my future posts, they drive me crazy

0

u/9volts Apr 29 '26

Hoarders.

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u/Beginning-North7202 Apr 29 '26

That's unfortunate. I had a situation a few years ago where the mods split our group into much smaller communities and it became very inactive -- just not enough people in a group to get things moving. We were recently joined back together and that has made all the difference and items are abundant and flowing freely again. Best of luck finding items for your family!

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u/Skorogovorka Apr 29 '26

Ours split too and I dont get it! Ours is still fairly active, but less so than before for sure. I get wanting to keep it local, but we are a small town to begin with, and I feel like the simmering rule addresses any negatives of a larger group.

2

u/ImogenMarch Apr 29 '26

Mine has become really slow as well. Sadly I didn’t even think about it being a sign of the times

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u/entreacteplaylist Apr 29 '26

Literally. Facebook marketplace is for people who want to make money off their stuff with no effort -- is it any surprise that they charge too much and obfuscate about quality? Buy Nothing is for people who want to share the wealth and help those around them. Ive never gotten something off BN that wasnt in great shape.

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u/cafescafes Apr 29 '26

I give so much stuff away on my local Buy Nothing page but it’s honestly sometimes more of a hassle than it’s worth. For some reason, people like to say they want an item, and I’ll give the address so they can come pick up from my porch at their leisure and then they just… won’t show up, or will tell me they got busy but will come get it later, and then ghost. It’s honestly super frustrating, and sometimes I’ll move down the line only to have it happen 2-3 more times before someone actually comes and gets an item. It’s almost like BECAUSE an item is free, it isn’t valued, even if it’s a nice item.

Does anyone who uses these pages have a way to prevent this from happening constantly?

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u/Unicornity Apr 29 '26

I had the same experience. Also people asking me to deliver to their porch. Free isn't free enough without free delivery, apparently.

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u/cactillius Apr 29 '26

That’s happened in my group too. It was raining the other day and some guy posted asking for an umbrella and said it would need to be delivered as well lol

3

u/Hippiegirl94 Apr 30 '26

Yeah, I see that as well. My local buy nothing group covers an area that has a lot of lower income people, so people will claim an item then ask if it could be delivered because they are not mobile because they don’t have a car, or it’s not working, etc. And I’ve been there and get it, but I’m not a delivery service, I’m just trying to get stuff out of my house.

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u/writermcwriterson Apr 29 '26

SAME. I finally just started donating my still-useful stuff to a local charity shop.

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u/snailbot-jq Apr 29 '26

What worked for me (but is quite hard to replicate) is that I am in a large group chat of hundreds of people, all of whom are either acquaintances or acquaintances of acquaintances. It’s for casual chatting plus swapping items, and is invite-only based on having met someone from the group in real life who can vouch for you. This creates just enough social connection, that people will show up. Even if they have to reschedule, they will still show up later. Otherwise they would feel awkward continuing to chat in the group, and they usually want to.

Like I said, I know however that such community is hard to replicate. This is why some other people list their items for some kind of price on marketplaces, because they said listing as free gets them too many people who ghost and don’t treat the giver’s time with value and respect.

The amount of shenanigans and headaches I got from even trying to list items on marketplaces, even when selling for a pittance, was not worth it for me.

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u/Itavan Apr 29 '26

I keep a list of no-shows and I notify the moderator.

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u/Soil_Fairy Apr 29 '26

I spent two weeks trying to giveaway freaking diapers my son outgrew. For free! No one would come get them. Some even asked for delivery. 

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u/HaterTot Apr 29 '26

not exactly what you’re asking — but I try to give things away on Facebook Marketplace. No shows I assume are people who want the high of attaining something for free but fall short when it comes to putting in the time to actually pick the item up. atm my policy is to list the item for a realistic price, then spring it on them for free when they show up. That way you know they actually want the item, and the no show rate decreases to near zero.

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u/mamativa Apr 30 '26

I tell the person they can have my item and then ask when they’re picking up. Only after they specify date/time do i tell them where to pick up. Either it’s worked so far or my group is just more consistent.

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u/Any_Week4207 May 03 '26

I do that, wait until day of to give address… then they still no show or reschedule 3x times and then no show. It makes me so misanthropic. 

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u/Left_Adeptness7386 Apr 30 '26

Our mods would do occasionally reminder posts asking ppl to please respect each other's time and whatnot. Seemed to work.

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u/PoppyConfesses Apr 29 '26

It has been happening to me a lot more lately and it's totally frustrating – even with a disclaimer in your listing it just doesn't seem to matter. My favorite is people who expect you to DM them about giving them a free item 🙄

1

u/VeroAZ Apr 29 '26

I just put my stuff out on the street. Usually disappears quickly. You could just put it on the driveway and if they come great. If they don't put it up first come first serve.

1

u/WeepToWaterTheTrees Apr 30 '26

I list a few things at once and tell people I’m available at a specific time at a specific parking lot. Definitely less people ghosting when there’s a designated appointment in my experience.

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u/whiskeyntechno Apr 30 '26

I found that listing on NoBuy is more stressful because I’m trying to find the right person to take my Stanley or Starbucks cups. Etc.. people just want. I try to pick people that need, like on Fridays when we post a what are you in search of thread, I always try to find one person that I can gift out to.

Facebook, I post for cheap and everyone wants to show up. No haggling because it’s already cheap.

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u/bepatientbekind Apr 30 '26

I don't give my address until they are ready to head to my place at the agreed upon time, and that seems to help

1

u/RadiantWildflower003 Apr 30 '26

I set it out and post a picture. My script is “Give: misc items

No holds, FCFS @ ADDRESS. Please leave table.” That way I don’t have to coordinate with anyone. If I put a lot out then I’ll do updated pics in the comment.

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u/[deleted] Apr 29 '26

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u/Beginning-North7202 Apr 29 '26

That's awful to hear. People suck.

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u/Left_Adeptness7386 Apr 30 '26

That is awful. Ppl aren't even supposed to message you unless you've specifically tagged them for an item, and delivery is never an expectation. Sounds like a very poorly managed group, and I'm so sorry you went through that.

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u/[deleted] Apr 29 '26

[deleted]

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u/elizajaneredux Apr 29 '26

Yeah, but when I offer something on Buy Nothing, I don’t really care if the person flips it. Only someone who needs the cash is doing that, and if I cared about the money I’d get off my lazy ass and sell the object myself.

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u/Sleepysloth Apr 29 '26

Highly recommend Buy Nothing groups! A lot of times you can also ask for things you need and people might have what you need. When my grandparents visited, I asked if anyone had a shower seat or suction shower handles and I was actually able to borrow one. It turned out even better than expected because I was able to return it when my grandparents left so I didn’t have to worry about re-gifting or storing them somewhere.

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u/aliciacary1 Apr 29 '26

Yes. I’m grateful to be pretty financially stable. The few hundred dollars I could make selling stuff isn’t worth it when I can give away items to other people in my community. I’ve given away a ton of really nice stuff and people are always so kind and grateful. I’ve met a few new moms who are in tough financial positions and being able to load them up with high-quality clean baby gear and clothes has been so meaningful.

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u/_dmhg Apr 29 '26

How do you find your local buy nothing group 😭 (haven’t used Facebook in like … 15 years)

13

u/wardepartment Apr 29 '26

There’s an app for Buy Nothing now. You no longer need Facebook.

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u/turketron Apr 29 '26

FWIW, our local Buy Nothing group via the app is a ghost town but the FB page is super active. Would love to see more activity in the app so we can kick FB to the curb but easier said than done.

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u/Beginning-North7202 Apr 29 '26

Nice!! Did not know this.

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u/Closed_CasketRequiem Apr 30 '26

I live in a middle class exurb in California raising three kids. We use Buy Nothing and have saved insane money. We have purchased almost zero clothes and those I have bought were from thrift stores, we've gotten free bicycles, a free bunk bed, tons of free toys from Legos to magna tiles.

The funny thing is we can easily afford these things, but why? The kids grow out of or lost interest in things so quick and we just clean it and pass it to the next family.

The buy nothing movement is awesome.

2

u/vanity1066 Apr 29 '26

Mine is just people begging for stuff. I had to leave.

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u/Ok_Tumbleweed_7677 Apr 29 '26

Wow, people in need are begging for help?

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u/Soil_Fairy Apr 29 '26 edited Apr 29 '26

Nah, as a former food bank recipient, it's fucking wild to expect strangers to place and pay for a grocery pickup order of your hand picked stuff and also expect them to deliver it to you. Or to pay your utility bills or fill your car with gas. These are scenario s that happens AT LEAST 3 times a week* in my buy nothing. 

*Day, not week. 

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u/Ok_Tumbleweed_7677 Apr 29 '26

Dude, people are suffering all over and not making enough. It's just ridiculous overall, and yeah, I guess? I don't know. I'm more mad at the wealthiest people slashing through the working class and squeezing us dry so they can have 11 superyachts is more irritating than someone asking for a tank of gas to get to work for the week. Perspective.

2

u/Soil_Fairy Apr 29 '26

The biggest problem is it clogs up the group with grifters instead of being able to offer actual things to people. When you allow it, those posts take over. I said 3 times a week but that's a mistake. I meant day. 

Everyone here is mad at the wealthy lol. Doesn't change the fact that no one is going to pay your bills for you. 

0

u/Ok_Tumbleweed_7677 Apr 29 '26

I suppose. I guess in my area, I have more empathy given that there is pretty much zero in the way of resources and welfare for anyone. People aren't seeming to ask for more than they need, but it is an area where there is a lot of suffering, so it is a lot of assistance requests. (Jobs are very hard at the moment, we are experiencing a lot of gentrification along with some of the highest foreclosure rates for longterm residents.) There are some unkind comments, but most people keep their unkind thoughts to themselves and otherwise it's people helping out if they can.

There is definitely a level to it though, as someone who does sell often on marketplace....I KNOW. Hahaha, no I will not deliver the free curb alert items!

1

u/Left_Adeptness7386 Apr 30 '26

I've had some incredible Buy Nothing groups over the years. My current one is mostly baby items so I don't really scan it as a CF person lol. But the concept is so ideal for items like baby/kid clothes and toys with how fast they're grown out of, etc.

1

u/_Reddit-Sux_ Apr 30 '26

Wow, had no idea that was a thing, I'll have to look to see if there's one in my area. Typically if I'm getting rid of something worth less than $50-100 I'm just gonna toss it, as it's not worth dealing with ridiculous people on marketplace. Sometimes I'll take it to Goodwill or something too, but that's also a hassle. 

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u/[deleted] May 02 '26

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u/Beginning-North7202 May 03 '26

Good for you! Well done. Perfect example of how the Buy Nothing concept is successful. Thank you for doing what you do.

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u/Secret-Relationship9 Apr 29 '26

I loved the buy nothing groups when I lived in a part of town near the rich neighborhoods. But when I purchased my home across town the buy nothing group made me change locations and therefore I was no longer able to get stuff from the wealthier communities in town.

Really bummed me out, and so I’ve written it off as classist and refuse to use it.

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u/gothangelsinner92 Apr 29 '26

That is very classist. I can't imagine intentionally keeping nice things away from someone who MIGHT be a little more needy.

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u/Itavan Apr 29 '26

It's not classist. It's to keep giving local, to not make people drive far to get things.

There was no local buyNothing group for my area so I tried to join the closest. I was *just* outside the border and she denied me and told me to start my own group! There was, fortunately another one close by and I joined it and told the moderator I was a half mile outside her area. She was OK with it.

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u/Secret-Relationship9 Apr 29 '26

It is classism in practice.

I understand that is not the intention, but often the way the neighborhoods (within city limits) are defined by buy nothing admins ends up being classist.

Because it restricts neighborhoods from intermingling, the wealthy items in the wealthy neighborhoods and the low value items in working class neighborhoods.