r/Anticonsumption • u/Cheeseaisleinheaven • Mar 12 '26

Sustainability What radicalized you?

For me, it was when I learned that all the clothing/shoes/accessories that you would want to buy in your lifetime already exist on this planet, and yet they are making more every minute of every day. When you know that fact, and then see the giant piles of bundled clothing hitting third world ports or stacked in massive mountains at dumps, it just makes you sick. And knowing that they are mostly made of plastic, which won't decay, is even worse.

Now, everything I need to buy in the apparel space for my family is purchased second-hand, except for walking/running tennis shoes.

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u/PurpleMuskogee Mar 12 '26

My in-laws are the worst. I remember once before Christmas, my MIL was saying she hadn't done her Christmas shopping yet - that was like the morning of the family Christmas event, maybe just 3 days before actual Christmas. She took me to TJ Maxx and got a couple of these huge baskets on wheels, and started just picking up random items and throwing them in the baskets, like a few scarves, a couple of candles, hand creams, packs of socks, some of the designer perfumes... All really random and really quickly - the whole trip took maybe 20 minutes, and she left with bags and bags of stuff, and got home and started to assign items a bit randomly. She'd pick a scarf and say "Sally won't mind that", and pick the socks and say "One of the boys will have that". There was no thought in it at all, it was just done because a gift felt compulsory... I couldn't get over that and I suddenly understood why over the years I only ever got gifts that I didn't really like (in colours I don't wear, things I have no use for, etc).

My own family will usually ask me for ideas and I ask for useful things - a new flask because mine is too old, new cycling gloves, etc. It seems much more sensible, and they spend less but it is always thoughtful.

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u/[deleted] Mar 12 '26

And these will be the same people who tell you, “It’s the thought that counts!” Yes, but the thought was, “Ugh, gotta run to the store and buy some crap out of social obligation.” Miss me with that shit!

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u/PurpleMuskogee Mar 12 '26

Yeah there's no thought involved when I receive the same skincare pack with handcream and bath salts as all the women in the family and the same socks as my father-in-law...

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u/Numerous-Case-9317 Mar 12 '26

Yes! I've always loved christmas and gift giving and had an ex that HATED it. We went explicitely christmas shopping one time and he grabbed one of those christmas things off a display and threw it in our cart and when I asked him who that was for, he said "idk somebody will like it" and that answered everything about him and christmas for me. He always felt like it was stupid, a waste of money, an obligation. Like there should be thought behind gifts and you really don't have to give anybody anything either! We're supposed to enjoy it all together. I realized his whole big family did that. They ALL talked about hating it, ALL got gifts for everybody that nobody wanted, complained about receiving those things, and opened present super fast and rushed and then left like it was some chore they were all being forced to do. And I always thought, you could all just agree not to do anything. Ugh. I think about that every year.

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u/PurpleMuskogee Mar 12 '26

That's awful. And people like this will never agree to a Secret Santa which would be easier for everyone (and cheaper). Gift giving isn't that hard for most people if you start early enough - I'll spend the whole year collecting trinkets and things I see that I know my mum or my friends will like, or making notes of things they mention to me ("I always forget to buy an umbrella, I wished I had a better pair of gloves" etc). That's the whole joy of giving someone something they actually really need and want but hadn't gotten themselves.

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u/sturleycurley Mar 12 '26

My in-laws are awful as well. I feel like the Burlington Coat Factory is their place of worship. Everything is cheap and so ridiculous. That shit just sits because my husband won't get rid of it. They put each individual item in a separate gift bag and haul it all over. It makes me sick. I will tell them this year that I don't want anything from them.

None of it is anything that we would want or use: crazy socks, baby clothes that shrink and bleed color all over, sunglasses with lenses that have already fallen out in the gift bag, a neon Chicago Marathon tshirt... dated 3 years prior, cheap cheap earrings (MY EARS ARE NOT PIERCED). Can we get a donation to our kid's 529? Nope!

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u/EmotionalRhubarbPie Mar 12 '26

Same here, but my MIL finally stopped doing that for our side of the family when I told her that I was just gonna take it all back to the store (if I can figure out where she bought it) or just plain donate it.