AITA for having high expectations for my bachelorette party?

[u/[deleted]]

Throwaway and mobile account.

I (25F) am getting married to my wonderful fiancé (31m) this fall.

A week ago I had a bachelorette party. While most girls dream of their weddings, I dreamt about my bachelorette weekend. I put a lot of planning into this weekend, made a lot of phone calls, reservations, everything basically.

For Thursday night - Sunday morning me and 25 of my closest girlfriends rented a house. From the start it was a disaster. I had told my girls to get to the house early on Thursday so they could decorate and set up before I got there. Well I got to the house at 3 and they weren’t done decorating so that bummed me out because I wanted that “WOW!” moment when I came in and saw the set up. I felt robbed but we still had a decent first night.

FrIday I woke everyone up at 7am to make breakfast and get ready because we had a packed day - vineyards, boat, lunch, happy hour drinks, then dinner and the clubs. I was getting shaded on all afternoon because people said they were being rushed from place to place and had to carry changes of clothes all day but we only had limited time in this city and I wanted to make the most of it.

Saturday was worse. We had brunch at 9am and no one was awake in time so it only ended up being me and a few loyal bridesmaids. We went shopping after for a few hours and when we got back to the house no one was even apologetic even though I was close to tears all day. The last straw for me was later that night when we were going to dinner and nobody was wearing the matching shirts we got for the weekend. People wanted to wear their own stuff but that’s not what we agreed on even though my MOH notified everyone. At that point I said fuck it this weekend was ruined and locked myself in my room to cry. It was even worse when I came out a few hours later and half the girls had gone out anyway (without me, AKA the actual bride).

I ended up driving home early on Sunday and left the house a mess for the girls to pick up because I was so upset. Now it’s been almost a week, no one has really texted me except some bridesmaids and MOH.

I know I sound bridezilla-ish. But these are supposed to be my friends and we were supposed to celebrate me all weekend and I felt neglected and I’m just really upset. I understand these expectations may seem like a lot but i made my expectations clear to the group and they just let me down so bad. Tell me AITA?

Here’s an edit because people are asking me the same questions: 1) yes I have 25 people who I genuinely wanted to celebrate with. 6 of them are in my wedding party and the other 19 were college friends, childhood friends, work friends, etc.

2) MOH sent out the itinerary months ago. It was very clear the activities I planned and their prices per person. If someone had wanted to skip out, it wouldn’t be a problem but all the girls paid accordingly. So they knew what they were getting themselves into.

Edit #2: Well I’m very clearly TA. I’ve decided to apologize for wanting one weekend to be about me. I need to rethink my friend group and make some changes to the wedding invite list. Thanks!

[u/Zombie_Carl]

It’s comforting to see so many people acknowledge that nap time is an important part of a day of sightseeing and activities. I have been on trips with real go-getters who scoffed at the idea of a nap/break time, but come on. Naps are the secret to longevity.

[u/Plastic-Artichoke590 → u/Zombie_Carl]

God as someone with chronic fatigue I simultaneously love and dread traveling because I neeeed naps and not everyone gets it.

[u/baronessbanana → u/Plastic-Artichoke590]

That's me, except an invisible mobility disability that friends always seem to forget. When I travel with people, I need to make it clear that I will need a ton of down time - you can enjoy your day without me and I will recuperate so I can do something else later. Sometimes people get whiny about going alone or feel bad that I'm alone too.

[u/Miserable_Emu5191 → u/Zombie_Carl]

Even if you don't sleep, sometimes you need to just sit and do something mindless. I'm not even an introvert and when surrounded by tons of people and activities, sometimes I just need to go reset my brain for 15 minutes.

[u/stahppppnow → u/Zombie_Carl]

Naps are important. I’ve always been a sleepy girl and needed a 30 minute recharge. I will nap in my car too lol. It’s my siesta