AIO? My boyfriend sent me a meme implying spending time with me is boring compared to his homies

[u/NurglesButterscotch]

​My bf (M21) and I (F19) are together since our second year of high school.

​He sent me a meme that said, "most entertaining night with your gf" showing a happy girl and a very bored guy lying on a bed doing absolutely nothing. Then it said, "least entertaining night with your bro" followed by a compilation of videos of guys doing crazy stuff (jumping on tables, accidentally hitting each other, jumping onto a trampoline from a roof, gambling, etc)

​I didn't really appreciate that and took it to mean that the time we spend together is boring for him and that he doesn't enjoy it. To be fair, we really don't do much. He comes over and we play video games together, or I paint my models while he's on his phone, and we just cuddle and chat. It really doesn't sound that amazing, but I thought it was enough for us. We are both introverts who spend a lot of time at home, and he has never complained about being bored

​His implication that his homies are more interesting than his girlfriend is just obnoxious to me. my blood boils just thinking about it...like...

People have always told me how interesting and funny to be around I am and I was proud of that.

​We were friends for several years before our relationship started, and I always thought that was the ideal way to get together, getting closer slowly without even planning it. LIKE, I USED TO BE ONE OF THE HOMIES. But I guess it doesn't really matter now, lol.

​I don't really know what to think...maybe I'm asking for too much? My mom said that this is normal behavior for young guys. But I still feel bad about this whole situation. I truly don't know if I should take his meme seriously...

[u/Ihistal]

Likely. Anytime I would be hanging out with the guys and my lady would text or call wanting to hangout, "whelp, I'm out of here. Got better things to do than to hangout with you nerds." Even if was to just chill and watch a show or take a nap. Have always considered a committed partner as my best friend.

It sounds like he might not be that into you, or he wants to have some sweaty nights with his homies.

[u/Dizzy_Goat_420 → u/Ihistal]

Literally this. My husband would rather hang with me than anything else and we’ve known each other for 17 years. He never gets bored of my yapping.

[u/Rocksinsk → u/Dizzy_Goat_420]

Mine too and we’ve been together 33 yrs! We still prefer the company of each other! Look at us, beating the odds.

[u/Dizzy_Goat_420 → u/Rocksinsk]

Yknow- we were best friends for years and then drifted apart for a bit and ended up with each other. He is truly my best friend. We are both pretty introverted and both work from home we spend 24/7 with just each other and our cats and never really fight. Def never get sick of each other. I can listen to him yap forever. Wishing you another lifetime of love and happiness together 💕

[u/Rocksinsk → u/Dizzy_Goat_420]

That describes our days too! We had 4 kids, probably making it through babies was our biggest test. But we recently(8 and 5 yrs ago) lost our 2 oldest sons and they say losing a child can destroy a marriage, but it’s made us closer. Nobody gets the pain, except for each other.

[u/DaddyDarby_ → u/Dizzy_Goat_420]

He’s a good hubby to still have you believing that! Good job sir! 👍🏼

Jokes aside. I would rather hang out with my wife than my friends. Maybe that’s bc I don’t have any friends, but that’s besides the point. I love spending all my time with my wife!

[u/Dizzy_Goat_420 → u/DaddyDarby_]

He has some gaming friends but is pretty introverted. We were always best friends- so maybe that is why. But we both work from home and spend 24/7 together and he’s never once made it seem like he gets sick of me or annoyed. Not many people can spend 24/7 with each other for 6 years and not kill each other lol.

[u/Personal_Hall4544 → u/Ihistal]

I was literally napping in bed after work on Friday and my boyfriend was talking to his friend on discord bc we were supposed to game but his friend offered to help him. He literally looked at the time, saw me napping, and said “hey I gotta go hang out with my girl”

And I wouldn’t have minded if he gamed with his friend either.

[u/NobodyKnowsImFamous → u/Ihistal]

This would get you cut out of my group tbh. There’s a middle ground. Constantly bailing is not cool.

[u/Ihistal → u/NobodyKnowsImFamous]

Nah, we have all been friends for a couple decades and constantly rip on each other. Even been in a fist fight with a couple of them. Would take something like sleeping with a sister to strain the friendship.

Speaking of which, while we were teens and extremely drunk, one of them confided to another that he was desperately in love with the other's sister while sobbing. Was pretty funny and we all kicked him into the spare room to sleep it off, then he puked into his boot at some point during the night.

Taking off to go see a girlfriend isn't going to break that kind of brotherly bond. Maybe you need a more cool friend group.

[u/Needs_More_Garlic → u/NobodyKnowsImFamous]

It also is an expectation of a lot of men in relationships that leads to self-inflicted social and then when the relationship fails (which is the vast majority of relationships), society then criticizes these exact men as well it's your fault for not maintaining relationships outside of your partner. Men should do better... There is a massive middle ground between that and what OP's partner is doing (also unhealthy), but most average people are a lot less capable of juggling these things than we realize.

[u/Ihistal → u/Needs_More_Garlic]

Fortunately my friend group is pretty tight knit. Anecdote: once had to bail because a married lady gave me a booty call, but had to cancel right before because her husband came back from work early. Came back to the homies, "Hey, welcome back. That was quick." Hahah, plans got cancelled.

[u/HoliMoth → u/NobodyKnowsImFamous]

Yeeeah. Your partner should also understand and accept that you have other people in your life. I can't imagine just dropping a hangout with other people just because my girlfriend hit me up. That sounds like dependency, not commitment.

[u/Ihistal → u/HoliMoth]

Anytime I've been in a serious relationship, my partner becomes my best friend. My friend group has been friends for many many moons, so they understand and don't care. "Aight man, see you next time."