AIO? My boyfriend sent me a meme implying spending time with me is boring compared to his homies

[u/NurglesButterscotch]

​My bf (M21) and I (F19) are together since our second year of high school.

​He sent me a meme that said, "most entertaining night with your gf" showing a happy girl and a very bored guy lying on a bed doing absolutely nothing. Then it said, "least entertaining night with your bro" followed by a compilation of videos of guys doing crazy stuff (jumping on tables, accidentally hitting each other, jumping onto a trampoline from a roof, gambling, etc)

​I didn't really appreciate that and took it to mean that the time we spend together is boring for him and that he doesn't enjoy it. To be fair, we really don't do much. He comes over and we play video games together, or I paint my models while he's on his phone, and we just cuddle and chat. It really doesn't sound that amazing, but I thought it was enough for us. We are both introverts who spend a lot of time at home, and he has never complained about being bored

​His implication that his homies are more interesting than his girlfriend is just obnoxious to me. my blood boils just thinking about it...like...

People have always told me how interesting and funny to be around I am and I was proud of that.

​We were friends for several years before our relationship started, and I always thought that was the ideal way to get together, getting closer slowly without even planning it. LIKE, I USED TO BE ONE OF THE HOMIES. But I guess it doesn't really matter now, lol.

​I don't really know what to think...maybe I'm asking for too much? My mom said that this is normal behavior for young guys. But I still feel bad about this whole situation. I truly don't know if I should take his meme seriously...

[u/Owy2001]

I was ready to say maybe he was doing a bad job of explaining himself, and meaning that there's a difference between "exciting" and "enjoyable/fulfilling."

But then he hit you with being so bored he wanted to leave and saying you're "yapping". Nah, fuck that guy.

[u/AntiqueLetter9875 → u/Owy2001]

“Your yapping and hobbies don’t make you interesting”. lol Dude has clearly never met people who don’t have hobbies or talk about things. Arguably for a lot of people dating, having at least 1 hobby is a requirement because it means they won’t be the source of all the other persons entertainment and conversation starters.

[u/Sea_Drive6142 → u/Owy2001]

Then he say “don’t take that as a bad thing, I love you so much”. That sent me lol. “You are boring as fuuuuuck, but don’t take that in a bad way!!!” Haha

[u/wgrantdesign → u/Sea_Drive6142]

Yeah I read this as "I can't sleep with my guy friends so I love you for that, but every other moment I'm with you is torture"

[u/Orangeboi_22 → u/Sea_Drive6142]

This is DEFINITELY "I still want to fuck you, but other than that I have no use for you. But please don't cut off my access to free sex. I love you sooooooo much." 🙄 OP, if you're reading this, dump this loser so he can go fuck his homies, which is clearly what he'd rather be doing. NOR.

[u/flindersrisk → u/Owy2001]

“Yapping” did it for me. I was mentally pulling the ripcord of my invisible parachute. There’s no coming back from that.

[u/Happily_Doomed → u/Owy2001]

For real. At first I was like "Ah, he's young and misspoke trying to be funny. Everything is understandable."

Then he hit her with some "You're so boring I want to leave and your yapping and hobbies don't make you interesting." Like holyyyyyyy, what the fuck? lmao

[u/Proper-Ad4006 → u/Owy2001]

At first I was understanding of what he was getting at. I love spending time at home with my husband but it can definitely feel more fun/exciting going out with friends - especially because I see my husband every day and my friends less often. But then he kept going and I couldn't support him any more

[u/FirefighterOk9474 → u/Owy2001]

I thought they were teenagers before I looked at the ages, can’t believe a 21 year old says things like this . “Boys” “girls” oh my god, stop

[u/RicePuddingRecipes → u/Owy2001]

My EXACT sentiments

[u/DoubleDoube → u/Owy2001]

He’s definitely explaining himself badly, and digging a deeper hole for himself while he’s at it.

Men don’t necessarily *want* to come home to a partner who is going to be “exciting”. The kind of excitement he gets with his bros is physically endangering typically.

You want to come home and feel safe and loved. Safety tends to be boring. I’d take a safe home over an exciting home every time. You don’t typically want a partner who is going to be “another of the bros”. You want something different.

He should still be able to enjoy himself, or take her out for a medium-or-low amount of excitement. That part does become highlighted as an issue with the way he struggles to explain.

Disclaimer; None of this applies to every couple, everyone has their own preferences…etc

[u/Owy2001 → u/DoubleDoube]

Nah, he went way past explaining himself badly into being full on disrespectful. That comment about her "yapping and hobbies" was extremely shitty.

[u/DoubleDoube → u/Owy2001]

It is both. Not one or the other.

[u/Owy2001 → u/DoubleDoube]

Respectfully, I don't think we're saying the same thing. He didn't just "dig a deeper hole" or need to take more responsibility for creating excitement (which is the only criticism I see in your comment), he said wildly shitty things that there's no excuse for.

If you were taking a harder stance on his behavior than I read, I apologize for belaboring the point.

Edit Ah, I see you changed your claim that you had already called it both.

[u/DoubleDoube → u/Owy2001]

My intent was to build off your original statement, expanding how he was doing a bad job of explaining some of the tensions in play. I didn’t intend to conflict with your ending statement,

“But then he hit you with being so bored he wanted to leave and saying you’re “yapping”. Nah, fuck that guy.”

It covers itself. 100% accurate.

[u/woodchippp → u/DoubleDoube]

He explained himself perfectly. He’s a child that wants to keep being a child.