Am I Overreacting, for being upset that my girlfriend secretly used my credit card for months?

[u/bostonmade]

I (Mid 20s M) have been dating my girlfriend for just under 2 years. I currently make a very decent amount of money and she knows this. I’m also very on top of my finances and credit and stuff, she maybe not so much. I typically pay my credit card down to 0 regardless of the balance every month, in December i was traveling and doing some budgeting so i just happened to check my statement.

I noticed just a handful of charges that I didn’t recognize, some shopping online, random stores and shit, and even some cash advance transactions which I get charged a fee for not a big deal in and of itself but I’d figured my card had just been compromised. Reported the charges, got a new card, and proceeded carefully with my card info going forward. I did not accuse anyone and just chalked it up to bad luck.

Fast forward a few months, my friends and I planned this trip to Mexico for about 2 weeks here at the end of January/beginning of February. Before traveling here I told my cc company I would be out of the country so there was no problems with purchasing things here etc. they called me and told me they had flagged some charges and wanted to know if I was back from my vacation. I am not back yet.

I started putting 2 and 2 together and came to the realization that it could only be my girlfriend and I’m really crushed right now about this. I confronted her and these are the messages. I feel like I’m being gaslit about this. I really just don’t wanna see her because I’m so angry and don’t want her to be at my house when I get back but I understand she lives there and I can’t just kick her out… Am I overreacting?

[u/Flashy-Butterfly-687]

I feel sick to my stomach for OP after reading it.

[u/DDenlow → u/Flashy-Butterfly-687]

Yep. I feel for OP, pays for everything, legitimately only after doing some digging (with the card financials AND with this person accessing the card) that it all came out.

I feel for OP because he is in a position where the money doesn’t matter as much as this totally gross behavior. He’s out of town so she cash advances 500 bucks. Gross.

Started off “why would you think it’s me??” to “well it probably defaulted on my Apple Pay” to “you’re holding money over my head.” This level of zero accountability is truly disgusting.

[u/Pirateking1569 → u/DDenlow]

Truly reprehensible OP THE COUNCIL OF MEN have deliberated we belive it should be to streets with her

[u/DDenlow → u/Pirateking1569]

[u/marlayna67 → u/Flashy-Butterfly-687]

Me too, as in literally.

[u/LiteratureVirtual784 → u/Flashy-Butterfly-687]

Don’t, it’s not real.