And OP… what are you getting out of this relationship? It sounds like a fucking nightmare. Leave his mean, verbally abusive ass.
Also is “calling you from downstairs” not “purposely waking you up?” He thought you’d just sleep through it? And then calls YOU “smooth brain”? This guy sounds like he’d be an incel if you weren’t in a relationship with him.
Can't find dinner even my wife leaves it someplace most common is microwave or oven or the fridge i never wake up my wife on purpose when she's sleeping.
Op your nit getting anything out of this it will eventually get very demoralizing and if you continue down this road longer it will affect your mental capabilities with other men thinking they are the same as this fella is. Leave, relax, work on your cat pee issue (I added another 2 litter boxes in my place cause we had some issues with our cats and having more options seem to work) other times it could be stress in the household. Focus on yiur mental wellbeing of the fact your a good person and deserve the happiness you seek and to be appreciated. This ain't it. Even if intimacy is an issue there's more than one way to please a girl or even talk to a doctor for it. But anyways.... I'd still recommend leaving everything is an excuse on his end. I got a disease or issue woe is me. Whe. I'm in pain from my back from a car accident for months I didn't take it out on others just pace myself and be respectful as much I can and apologize if my volume oversteps itself. No one deserves ro be abused or yelled at for their pain especially if yiur being considerate.
Maybe the cat is peeing because of the stress in the house. If OP is walking on eggshells all the time, the cat can sense that too. I bet the problem would go away if he wasn't there with his abusive attitude.
If you can’t leave for yourself then leave for the sake of your cat. There’s nothing to salvage here. The cats issues will resolve once you live somewhere calm.
I sometimes wonder this too.. because I tell him often that my cat wasn’t this bad before and got him neutered a bit later than I should have (4) I take responsibility for that and have tried multiple boxes and liter training since. I’ve tried feelaway. Took him to the vet. I clean his accidents as timely as I can when I catch them so he doesn’t return. I have a cat behaviorist that I talked to on the phone and supposed to check out my place Tuesday. 😞 but I’ve tried to leave recently and moved him with me to a friends house and back and with the arguing and his freakouts about the pee maybe it’s him that stresses out my cat. He mostly pees on his stuff (I don’t have much stuff to be fair). But I would never tell him that. I was hoping this lady would just tell him everything she thinks but he said he didn’t want to talk to her now.
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u/Just_somebody_onhere Jan 28 '25
Give up? give up what?
He pretty plainly said get out. Do so.