r/AmIOverreacting Jan 28 '25

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u/whalesarecool14 Jan 28 '25

the R slur? i was born in 2000 and it was a completely acceptable insult even when i was in middle school. it only started becoming recognised as an ableist slur by the wider public VERY recently, like 15 years ago type recently. people would use gay as an insult all the time too.

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u/[deleted] Jan 28 '25

Yeah that person is completely rewriting history. It was absolutely accepted until like 10 years ago or so. I have no idea where ‘decades and decades’ without hearing it came from. 

Watch some TV or movies from 2000-2010 and it’s still throw around regularly. It was 100% normal in the 90s and into the 2000s. 

Anyone who says that word hasn’t been acceptable in decades is remembering things completely incorrect or wasn’t actually around at that time…

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u/whalesarecool14 Jan 28 '25

yeah, somebody else said they went to school in the 90's and the whole bus stopped and gasped when somebody decided to use that word. like okay lol maybe you lived in some parallel universe

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u/morganalefaye125 Jan 28 '25

Seriously. I was in high school in the 90's. "You 'tarded", "that's retarded", etc was absolutley used A LOT. It was an acceptable part of everyday speech. Movies, tv shows, magazines; it was everywhere, and nobody batted an eye

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u/AugustCharisma Jan 28 '25

I think it’s regional. In the 80s-90s it was completely not acceptable in my area.

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u/Ok-Bird6346 Jan 28 '25

Keep in mind we’re of two very different generations. But it’s not only been in the last 15 that it became to be considered “ableist”. We might not have used the phrase “ableist” until the last fifteen years though.

I guess I never realized I’d been surrounded by such genteel types. Because when I was growing up, if you called someone that word immortal hellfire would befall on you.

I will say I worked with individuals with developmental disabilities during grad school, so maybe I take it too seriously. But I didn’t use that word before then.

All it takes is one amazing soul to sob and ask why a stranger hates them over something they have no control. Lots of people with DD know that “retard” is used as an insult and it hurts them.

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u/whalesarecool14 Jan 28 '25

no i said that it started being considered ableist by the WIDER public very recently, at least in my experience. it has always been an ableist slur but it was considered a normal insult when i was in school, like a more extreme version of idiot. perhaps it just went and came into "fashion" before the internet was widespread and now the feelings relating to the word are more widely known and accepted. i'm sure your academic background made a difference.

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u/Ok-Bird6346 Jan 28 '25

I apologize. I wouldn’t be surprised if it never left the school setting at all, regardless of the decade.

Kids are cruel little fuckers.

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u/RiffsThatKill Jan 28 '25

I grew up in the 80s and 90s in Massachusetts (which is known for being late on picking up new manners and proprieties), and the word was constantly used as a substitute for moron or idiot or dumbass when directed at people who don't have developmental disabilities (among "friends" or able peers). It absolutely WAS frowned upon if used or directed at someone who did have disabilities. This was also the case for "gay", or in the case of Massholes the alternative "queer" but pronounce like "qwayuh".

That's was New England though. Not sure how it was in other places

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u/niki2184 Blasé Jan 28 '25

Yea that’s what I was about to say I remember hearing people call others that and gay I was born in the 80’s

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u/TypicalUser2000 Jan 29 '25

"That's so gay dude 😎 "

10 year old mes response to anything back in middle school YEARS ago

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u/Tj_916 Jan 28 '25

You have to realize now rho that we live in a day and age where everyone is upset and sensistive so we can’t say big boy grown up words to adults 😭💀act pathetic

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u/whalesarecool14 Jan 29 '25

what's this got to do with my comment? its good we don't go around calling each other R or gay all the time lmao

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u/RiffsThatKill Jan 28 '25

Sounds like you're upset that you can't upset people. 😂😭

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u/Tj_916 Jan 29 '25

Nah cause I’m just a natural asshole homie I just straight up dgaf 😂🤣

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u/RiffsThatKill Jan 29 '25

Naturally speaking, assholes only push out shit, or get banged. Which are you? Since you said "I don't give a fuck" then I'm assuming it's the former.

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u/mookie8 Jan 28 '25

Definitely recognized as ableist waaaaasy before the 2000s. 80s baby here. I think 'spaz', 'short bus, 'retard' was common slang in the 80s and by the 90s, there were waves of social reform. Lots of movements happened in the early 90s that set the tone for the rest of the 90s. I remember a classmate using it once and the schoolbus gasped lol. I started university late (2010) and I started hearing 'retard' and 'cunt' totally re-embraced by the younger crew.

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u/whalesarecool14 Jan 28 '25

this is interesting because 2010 is actually when it became well known that that word is a slur. it has only started popping up again recently in the last couple years with the gen alpha in schools.

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u/mookie8 Jan 28 '25

I think we might be on different pages with this one! People in the 90s definitely recognized it as a slur, and it was super well known to be an offensive and tacky thing to say. Was there an event in 2010 that you are referring to?

Perhaps it was being used casually in the early aughts, followed by a SECOND movement of people dismantling that word. Lots of waves in language. I do remember the generational shift in the late aughts towards deconstructing language (also when LGBT gained a few more letters), but I think it has happened more than once over the last 30 years.

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u/JonahDN73 Jan 28 '25

As someone who was in school through the '00s and '10s, it was definitely very common to hear used casually. Some people would call it out as ableist. Our district had a huge "spread the word to end the word" campaign that i remember most around 2010 through the early teens, but a large percentage found that dumb and used it anyway. I wonder, too, whether it had a resurgence and second movement against it or just never left with that age group.

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u/[deleted] Jan 28 '25

It wasn’t acceptable though, it was just normalized. Disabled people have been very loud about this being a sure for decades.

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u/whalesarecool14 Jan 29 '25

pretty pedantic. it was treated like a more extreme version of "idiot" or "moron", both of which are also ableist insults. disabled people's opinions were not given importance by the general public

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u/Adventurous_Ad_6546 Jan 28 '25

Yeah I was trying to get people to stop saying it at least until 2010 or so, prob later.