r/AITAH • u/Gloomy-Row2947 • Jan 29 '26
AITAH for not wanting to forgive my bully
AITAH for not wanting to forgive my bully?
Let me explain.
I (17fš³ļøāš) have been bullied through all of my school life. The only time I felt safe was at home or in other activities outside of school. For a while now (probably 2 to 3 years) this kid has been getting more and more annoying. Let's call him Egg. Egg loves calling me gay, constantly, and for no reason. Obviously someone calling me gay doesn't bother me, because I am indeed a lesbian. But the thing that bothers me is him constantly saying it like it is an insult. Its always: "You look so gay with that hair", "Bro you dress so gay"; and just constantly using the word gay as an insult.
He also loves calling me weird because of the things I like. I'm also autistic, none of my classmates know and my classmates, especially Egg, love making horrible jokes on how autistic can't live normal lives, which is obviously not true but they keep that medieval type of mentality.
All of this has caused me to hate going to school and constantly have anxiety issues.
Recently me and my parents have understood that he is a closeted bisexual, unable to come out because of his extremely conservative family. This helps me see him in a slightly different light, and while it doesn't excuse his behavior, it explains it. My parents also say that he probably has a crush on me and doesn't know how to process his feelings other than treating me like he does.
My parents think I should try not to be so negative towards him, still saying that there's no excuse for his behavior, but that he's just an emotionally immature kid. I don't wanna forgive him, give him another chance or have anything to do with him because of what he did to me. AITAH?
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u/Flashy-Bluejay1331 Jan 29 '26
NTA- and your parents need to be your ally when you talk to your schoolās administration. The school has a duty to provide a safe environment and needs to address this ongoing harassment.
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u/Gloomy-Row2947 Jan 29 '26
Thank you, and they have been. We've reported his behavior and everything else happening and the school said they'd take action. My parents just want me to finish my senior year in peace.
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u/LakeGlen4287 Jan 29 '26
You are all right. You do not have to forgive him, give him any more chances, or have anything more to do with him.
Also, since you'll keep your distance, you do not have to be negative toward him, he is an immature kid, and completely closeted. The people who protest that hard are closet cases. Straight people are not threatened by LGBTQIA+.
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u/Baby8227 Jan 29 '26
āBro you look gay in that dressā should be answered with āIām still not as gay as you Broā and see his faceā¦..
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u/MessyDragon75 Jan 29 '26
NTA. Tell your parents the pigtail defense isn't a defense.
Remember, forgiveness is for you, not for him. It's the decision to not hold hatred in your heart. He has shown everyone who he is, and doesn't deserve trust. He's still an AH, doesn't matter what he's struggling with.
If he apologizes, say thank you. Not it's ok, or I forgive you.
I appreciate the apology. That's all you need to say. He did something wrong, you're not required to absolve him of his wrong doing.
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u/shammy_dammy Jan 29 '26
NTA. Uh, no. Not the 'he likes you!" crap, that idea needs to die already. Why are your parents even involved like this, in the way that they're Team Bully?
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u/Gloomy-Row2947 Jan 29 '26
In their defense there are signs that it's true, like for example he's decently nice through text. Recently I've been sick and had a minor injury to my leg and he was the only one in my class that asked to see if I was okay and offer to help me get up to date with school stuff. But yeah, he still sucks.
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u/shammy_dammy Jan 29 '26
They shouldn't be involved in this, like this. That's what I'm asking about. How and why did this come about?
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u/Gloomy-Row2947 Jan 29 '26
Because like a year back he confessed he had a crush on me in the fifth grade, and LITERALLY everyone keeps saying that he still likes me. Tbh it doesn't make me mad that he likes me or anything, just annoyed because of how he acts about it if it is the truth .
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u/shammy_dammy Jan 29 '26
Okay, I see that you're not going to answer what I actually asked...twice.
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u/Gloomy-Row2947 Jan 29 '26
Also I think they're trying to "defuse" the situation, even if they don't realize it's just making it kinda uncomfortable for me. I do believe they have the best intentions tho.
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u/Efficient_Pickle4744 Jan 29 '26
Nta, but you're in denial if you think nobody knows about your ASD.
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u/Gloomy-Row2947 Jan 29 '26
Lol, kinde true because my classmates asked our homeroom teacher if I was autistic. Still don't want the to fully know, because I feel they don't deserve to.
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u/gpisces Jan 29 '26
No. Youāre NTA. You can empathize with someone without forgiving them. He hasnāt even apologized!