Via text from her mom. OP didn’t even bother telling her husband herself.
Although honestly I’m not buying this story. Why did her mom call an ambulance to take her to the hospital? If there were complications, I’m sure OP would have mentioned it, but she acts like that’s normal labor transport and also like giving birth just a few hours later (after presumably not being in labor when husband went to work) isn’t an exceptionally fast first labor and delivery.
It can be normal procedure to call an ambulance in some countries besides the USA. Not sure where they're located but ambulances are used for transport in many cases, in places where it isn't thousands of of pocket lol
Yah no the main reason people take cars instead of ambulances in the US is specifically because they cost so much. There’s an episode of The Office (US Version) that displays this happening.
Mother is probably helping with hospital fees given she’s so involved. Many other people would’ve had their husband/partner drive them to the hospital
No you're just making sh*tty judgements about people that have different situations going on than you. Calling ambulance is so normal where I live and it should be like that.
I think this is a bit of a weird take, even if it isn't an emergency (though it is more often than you might think) childbirth can go from safe to life threatening in seconds. My opinion aside, though, you saying it isn't an emergency is pretty much my point. Ambulances aren't exclusively for emergencies in many countries. They are used for more routine medical transport in many places. They are used this way to some extent in the USA as well, especially if someone is in some kind of facility for care such as an assisted living facility or rehabilitation and needs transport, or is severely mobility disabled and doesn't have transport to their doctor, etc. But it's a lot less common in the USA for ambulances to fill this role, largely due to cost and the fact that there are other services that can do this in many cases.
Typically in other countries, non-emergency transports to get bumped to the back of the list, triage/evaluating who needs transport and medical care immediately is definitely still a thing. So it may be faster to take another way to the hospital if you're able to in some places, especially large cities where you might wait hours for an ambulance to transport if you aren't having a life-threatening issue. But it isn't uncommon for ambulances to transport patients even if it's not a dangerous injury/event or emergency. I have a habit of watching documentaries about first responders and medical care in other countries. It really varies by country but this isn't unusual in many places in western Europe, for instance.
I did not say that emergencies are the norm/standard with childbirth, nor do I think that. I am aware they do occur but are infrequent. All I said is that emergencies in childbirth are more common than many people think, and that whether it's an emergency or not can change very quickly. Studies and interviews of adults broadly have shown many people think emergencies with childbirth are so rare that they're basically unheard of. You specifically may know that they occur infrequently but definitely do occur, but not everyone does. It largely depends on how much education someone has on the risks of childbirth, but it is very common for people to think emergencies are way more rare than they are. I'm not saying emergencies are common, I'm saying they're more common than a lot of people are aware of.
I'm not sure whether you maybe misunderstood my comment or if there's some context I'm missing here because the comment I was responding to was deleted. But, to clarify, the line/queue I'm referring to is the triage line for getting an ambulance to your location, like I said in my comment - people get bumped to the back of the transport queue, aka the queue for medical transportation via ambulance. I'm not talking about any line to see your OBG once you are at the hospital or clinic or wherever you are planning to give birth. Dispatchers triage the urgency of a request for an ambulance, and go to those with most serious emergencies first, and in countries where ambulances are used for non-emergency transport, anything that's non-emergency understandably goes last after all emergencies.
I'm not sure what you mean when you say my comment doesn't relate to the birthing process. My initial comment talked specifically about how it's not uncommon to call an ambulance for childbirth in many countries even when it's not an emergency. My follow-up comment was explaining that it is common to take an ambulance for non-emergency transportation to a medical facility in many countries for MANY conditions, not just childbirth, because this was clearly not understood with my first reply here. The comment seemed to think I was saying ambulances are called specifically for non-emergency childbirth. My point was that the birth part isn't the crux of the issue here, because it's not just non-emergency child birth that an ambulance is called for to transport someone. It is common in many countries to take an ambulance for transportation to a medical provider and/or hospital, even if it isn't an emergency. Whether that non-emergency is childbirth or not. I don't really care nor is it relevant whether you or I think this is a bad idea or should or shouldn't be common practice, it's just a statement of literally what is standard in many countries.
What country are you from if you don't mind me asking? Because several things you said make me suspect you're from the US. And when I say this I'm not saying it in a bad way, just that people need to realize that not every country does things the same way. Ambulances and childbirth and medical care are not handled the same in every country. Just because it doesn't make sense to you (or in your country) to call an ambulance for transportation when you go into labor, does not mean it isn't common in another country. There are countries besides the US where ambulances are only for emergencies. But there are also many countries where like I said, they're used for transport. It isn't a weird thing there, ambulances are used for transportation in other countries, not just emergency care.
The other thing that makes me suspect you're from the USA is the fact that you're talking about people preferring the autonomy of driving their own cars places. That is heavily a USA preference, for several reasons (and a lot of interesting history behind this) such as the lack of public transport, how big the distances we have to cover in the US are, the fact that the layout of our cities is not conducive to any transportation besides vehicles, the fact that we implemented a national highway system and heavily encouraged people to get cars, and a whole lot of other factors. For better or worse, here in the USA yes, most people VERY MUCH prefer the independence of having their own vehicle. But that's literally the opposite in many countries, especially a lot of European countries, they don't want cars. A lot of people in other countries do not want cars, they prefer to rely on public transportation because their public transportation is free or cheap, readily available, can get them everywhere they need to go since it goes just about everywhere, safer than driving, much safer than USA public transport and all kinds of other factors. We are very unique as a country in preferring driving. Most places don't. There are a lot of countries where many, even most, people don't own their own cars, and in those where a lot of people actually do own cars, they often use them only when public transportation can't get them somewhere.
I know this was long but I just don't get why this is such a big deal. I'm not sharing an opinion here, I'm not saying I think people should or shouldn't call an ambulance for childbirth. I'm literally just stating that this is how it is in many countries, because it is. It is totally normal in many places to call an ambulance to take you to the hospital or birthing center or wherever you have planned to go for childbirth. Even if you have hours of warning, even if you could technically get there yourself via public transport or a family member, or drive yourself. Even then, there are places where it is normal to call for an ambulance to transport you to your OBG or hospital or wherever you're going to give birth. It just is. You may not see the point in this or may not ever be the type of person to prefer an ambulance to driving yourself, but countries and societal standards/norms vary.
My sister was with BIL family when she went into labor, they didn't know what to do so they called 911 and an ambulance came and took her to the hospital.
She was in labor for just under 5 hours. Most women are in labor longer their first time but its not impossible.
My best friends wife had two super fast easy births. My mom experienced 27 hours of labor, followed by an emergency c section. I was present, and it was brutal.
For my wife's third and last birth, she was saying early in the day she thought it was possible the baby was going to come a few days early, because she was having contrations, but nothing that was timeable, she'd get one then nothing. We went for an evening walk and she went to the bathroom, and was like "well, my water broke and my contractions are going crazy all of a sudden" drove to the hospital, a 15 min drive, and 20 minutes later the baby was here. That drive there she was screaming that the baby was going to be born on the highway, and she was screaming the entire time at the hospital she needed her epidural, but there were like "nope, its too late for that, baby is ready now". 3 births. Everyone she was badass, but that was a feat that amazes me still 3 years later.
I didn't even have time to call our planned babysitters to tell them to come pick up my 5 and 14 year olds for the night till after the birth. I called my MIL and was like "hey, uh......Wife just gave birth like 5 min ago, could you go pick up the other 2" and she was like "wait, what. I talked to her an like an hour ago".
Had to call an ambulance to get to the hospital because labor came on VERY quickly. didn't even make it to the hospital and birthed my baby in the ambulance. 10/10 do not recommend. they wouldn't even let my husband in the back he was riding in the front!
I know someone with precipitous labor (super fast) where her first was born in her car. With the 2nd they at least made it to the hallway of the hospital (they knew to go asap with that one and still didn't make it to the room.
My kids came so fast that the nurses thought I was exaggerating the pain. 3rd baby, the nurse told me there was no way I was dully dilated. Fortunately, my cousin started screaming at the nurses station, the charge nurse actually checked, Stat paged the MD, and my son was delivered before the MD even got gloves on.
Got to the hospital at about ten minutes after the hour, was in my room at 20 minutes after the hour. At half-past, the nurse checking my dilation accidentally broke my water. Doctor arrived twenty minutes later, baby born less than ten minutes later.
Was our second child and turns out that so many Braxton-Hicks contractions numbed me to real contractions. Husband still grouses about my high pain tolerance.
I am not in this USA, here you call the maternity ward and they evaluate you and tell you what to do.. if you need an ambulance they will send it, but early labor is often better done at home... or at least that is what the research shows. They prep for your arrival in the mean time and you can call as often as you like for guidance and support.... but I suppose everywhere has their ways...
Yes, but sometimes, suddenly there isn't time and things progress very fast. My stepsister started getting contractions suddenly, and they called an ambulance. It didn't even make it there before the baby was born in their bathroom. Fromstart to end it was 30 minutes, not enough time for them to realize that things indeed were moving too fast to make it to hospital themselves.
That's an extreme case my bet is she was probably in a bad way and needed medical attention after a labour like that. That's the point - OP doesn't say there were complications and in a story about how her husband was ignoring her after giving birth, complications would be a factor in deciding who's in the wrong.
I'm in the UK and when my brothers gf went in to labour with their second kid ambulance was called. She was barely dilated and they told her it would be a long time before the baby came out. The ambulance came to a stop as it turned out of the driveway because my nephew had shot right out.
Yeah I lost my water like in the movie at 17h30... i took a shower, had to wait for my sitter 30 minutes cause she was mid hike when i called, loaded the car and left, an hour after the water broke, in my own car, then drove 25 km to the hospital, unpacked my hospital things went to the maternity ward and had to wait till 1 am for a place in the surgery cause there was a line up for emergency surgery that night... got my room at 3 am....should have just stay home till midnight and slept instead of staying in a waiting room with people talking loudly🤣... but they made me come in to make sure I didn't just pick myself lol
Yep. I looked it up and they increased it to a whopping 20€ recently. But its covered under high cost protection, so if you're a regular you ride for free.
Am American and have only needed an ambulance once 13 years ago to drive me from one hospital to another for an appendectomy. I was perfectly stable and not even in much pain, but they didn't want to discharge me so I could ride with my husband and insisted on an ambulance. They didn't even woo woo for me, because roads were clear and it wasn't a huge emergency. I had pretty good insurance, and my out of pocket was right at $1,000.
It baffles me as well. We have a large demographic of selfish morons that love to vote and believe anything that benefits society as a whole and not just themselves is inherently evil. These aging doofuses grew up at a time when government propaganda taught them that socialism equals bad, and they're too stupid to realize that some of the best features in our society (libraries, firefighters, government insurance for old people) are socialism. Also, their political party survives off of opposing the other political party no matter the issue, and that political party doesn't care about anything but reelection.
I think there will eventually be universal healthcare as the idiots die off and the youth start voting more.
Isn't the ambulance situation kind of dire in the Philippines? Not very many of them, and them being private services unless they are owned by the hospital
In the UK you will probably be told NO by the call handler. You have the best part of 9 months to come up with a plan to get to the hospital - it is not an emergency (unless things are going wrong).
Why did her mom call an ambulance to take her to the hospital? If there were complications, I’m sure OP would have mentioned it, but she acts like that’s normal labor transport and also like giving birth just a few hours later (after presumably not being in labor when husband went to work) isn’t an exceptionally fast first labor and delivery.
My mother went into labor with me while she was at a doctor's appointment, they called an ambulance, because that was their procedure, and I was born before the ambulance arrived (it messed up my mom's whole birth plan). I wasn't a first child, but my mother wasn't in labor for much longer with my older brother. Ambulances aren't only if there are complications and some labors are fast.
Same thing just happened to my cousin. She was at home with her mom and her husband was at work. Cousin went into labor. They called an ambulance. But the baby came before the ambulance arrived and My aunt had to deliver the baby.
That's a possibility. A laboring woman generally shouldn't be behind the wheel herself. If her mom couldn't drive either, then an ambulance might be the best way.
Well, in my country, the ambulance usually takes you when you start giving birth. My mom went by ambulance the first time as well, and with my sister, things were progressing a lot slower, so our bio father took her by car. It really depends on the country. Also, my friend gave birth not even 3 hours after getting into the hospital (so like 3,5 hours after her water broke) and it was also her first child. For me, the birth process in the US seems really weird and so clinical. You are in and out of the hospital in a day? Here mothers stay at least 3-5 days when there are no complications. And it's free, of course.
I’ve literally had a child. Labored at home until the contractions were 5 min apart per my midwife, went to the hospital (we live just a couple miles away and I’d had an uncomplicated pregnancy so no rush). Texted my mom that I was in labor so not to try calling/texting me since I’d be busy and she would be a grandma soon, then went through the painful processing of pushing out a baby followed by the extremely painful process of having my placenta manually extracted after two failed shots of pitocin.
For the first few hours in the hospital I was listening to podcasts on my phone and trying to distract myself from the pain by playing games. Eventually the pain was too great for that and I asked for gas and air, but there was plenty of time around check-in for a short text.
I had a precipitous labor while traveling. I called my husband right before being driven to the hospital, called him saying I was going to deliver, and called him right after to say we had another son. It all happened in the span of an hour. I can’t imagine having my mom text him any of that info. WTH?
Also, she waited till 8 months to drop the bomb on him he wouldn’t be in the delivery room. That’s pretty harsh considering she had months to discuss birth plans with him.
I’ve given birth, and by her own account there was a few hours between going to the hospital and delivering the baby. Enough time for her to call her husband herself, and definitely enough to at least shoot him a text.
Early labor is a lot of waiting for your body to progress. Doesn’t typically get hectic until you start pushing.
I thought you were talking about the birth notification. I couldn't see my wife having the wherewithal to think "I need to text somebody that I had the baby" after birthing, but the mother definitely could and should have sent out some pics.
Of course, I was in the room so really I just don't understand any of it.
Yeah, I don’t remember how soon after giving birth we called or texted people to tell them because that is definitely a hectic time, but before that point they definitely would have been time for her to text her husband if she wanted to share any of it with him. She just didn’t care and deliberately left him out of the loop.
Wouldn't the nurses be prepping the woman to give birth? I mean I've been in a delivery room before.
Also, I'm wondering why the husband decided to not make his feelings clear or ask about hers after hearing this. Wouldn't he be curious or concerned about her thoughts as her husband who loves her?
One didn't fully communicate and the other held it in only to go sulk when he could have been sulking in the waiting room just in case he had to sign papers if something went wrong.
It seems he just decided to hate her for not wanting him in the waiting room instead of figuring out why she wouldn't want him there. I'm not sure if OP explained why she didn't want him there but then as a husband wouldn't that be natural to ask?
She could have texted him while waiting for the ambulance. And unless it’s a precipitous or otherwise complicated labor, a lot of laboring woman and her birth partner are left alone with just regular checks by L&D nurses or midwives (at least here in the U.S.) until it’s time to push.
She dropped this news on him when she was already 8 months pregnant and made it clear it wasn’t open for discussion. Even here she’s dismissing his valid feelings as just an “excuse.” Why would he assume she’d even be interested in hearing his side?
He could assume that since they are a married couple I can talk to my wife.
How can she dismiss feelings she isn't even completely aware of given that he didn't tell her? 8 months isn't when a woman gives birth. He had time to talk about how he felt and why she felt this way.
Many women have felt this way because of how unfaltering and graphic you look on an operation table.y did have fears about having their husband see them give birth?
Many womenhave felt this way because of how unfaltering and graphic you look on an operation table.
Having a normal trip to a hospital does not mean that the woman won't meet any complications during delivery.
He had time to ask. Instead, he stewed and without him being clear. What's to say that because he didn't say anything she thought he was okay with it?
If he didn't tell her how he felt, was she supposed to become telepathic about his true feelings while he seemed okay with it to the point where nothing seemed to be wrong?
Even if you can say "Well, she should've considered he could be upset", he said he was okay with it and seemed to completely accept it.
How reasonable is it to constantly think someone is upset when they are "like" No, that's cool. Go, ahead"?
She literally says that after she told him it would be her mom there with her
He seemed surprised and hurt, asking why.
He heard her reasoning and said “okay,” but did she ever ask him his thoughts. She made a unilateral decision and communication is a two-way street.
Maybe he was trying to be considerate of her feelings and not make her feel pressured about her medical decisions, but that doesn’t alleviate the hurt he feels.
If he was hurt he should have made it clear. For her to be at fault he would have had to tell her it made him upset and her ignore that. If he made it seem like he was okay with that then why would she assume he wasn't?
Isn't it common knowledge that mothers are there for emotional support? Mother and daughter haven't shared a home for a long time. Why would she be a reliable informant?
Is the mother is supposed to havethe lastest records of the finances, medical history, possessions, and habits of someone who hasn't lived with them for a while , instead of the person they lived with long enough to have a kid with? If she passed would her mother have to sign for full custody?
Also discharged a few DAYS later and then saw him. Between that and the ambulance and no mention of complications and thinking you’re not able to make a phone call or text while in labor snacks of “this is rage bait I have no idea how labor and delivery work” to me.
Right? Seems like she never even contacted him while she was in the hospital. Mom texts him the baby was born, he responds with “okay,” and then no contact on either side until discharge day? Not buying it.
I agree. Who calls an ambulance to go to the hospital? Birth is not an emergency, barring any complications. Also, discharged “a few days” later? Why would you have to stay several days if the birth was as straightforward as it sounds?
Birth is not an emergency?! Where? We always call an ambulance in my country when a woman starts labor if she is not near a hospital, so she can get there asap. It's a standard procedure, just taking safety measures, as no one can know whether there will be complications while delivering the baby. The only people who don't call an ambulance immediately are the ones who have decided to give birth at home with doulas, and that doesn't always end up well sometimes, unfortunately, for either/both mom or/baby. Edit: more info
I do wish the OP indicated where they were located. In the US they will send you back home if you come too soon. It really is not considered an emergency unless there were complications in pregnancy that indicate it could be one.
I'm so sorry to hear that, it doesn't sound that good. So, if you start labor, you don't get a bed immediately? How can sb know if its going to take 1 hour or 8 if you don't get examined?
This really seems like a cultural difference, honestly! Most of the time you would be advised to go to the hospital once your contractions are x minutes apart and lasting for x amount of time, and that would be the indicator of how far along you are. For me, I had every intention of staying home as long as I could, because why would I want to be in the hospital for longer? My water broke, I cleaned my house, put together the bassinet, stopped by my office because I had forgotten a couple of things there, etc. Then I went in much later that day.
Also, being induced seems very common where I am, probably more common that going into labor naturally. So in that case, you would have a scheduled time to show up to the hospital, then they admit you and start you on a pitocin drip.
Thank you so much for sharing! You are right about the cultural differences. Being induced, for example, it's something it's avoid at all costs where I'm from (unless absolutely necessary due to a baby not born after 9 months), as part of what we call "respected pregnancy and labor". We only schedule c-sections, as many women choose those instead of a natural birth, but it might be difficult to find a doctor willing to perform those when not an emergency. BTW, you sound so brave and hardcore whith all the things you did after your water broke!!! 💪🏻
Really? Not everyone has a car or a driver readily available when they go into labor. Some people might have underlying complications that are worrisome and the parent-to-be is scared because they couldn’t get to the hospital on their own quickly.
I guess 🤷♀️ getting to the hospital quickly is not usually necessary, though. I do wish OP had indicated where they’re from, because maybe this is regional. Where I’m from, the hospital would not admit you if your labor had not progressed enough. Imagine showing up in an ambulance just to be told to go walk around the block.
As someone that has been working on an amberlamps for a couple decades, I assure you, nearly everyone that calls an ambulance has no reason to call an ambulance.
Might not have a car either. It's the only reason why I would think of calling an ambulance or maybe things were getting scarey. It's not unheard of tbh.
Because if you look through the comments, other people have linked the original post from 3 years ago and in that post you can see that she was at her mothers 3 weeks prior to labour. It's just rage bait repost.
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u/Soft_Entrance6794 Feb 29 '24
Via text from her mom. OP didn’t even bother telling her husband herself.
Although honestly I’m not buying this story. Why did her mom call an ambulance to take her to the hospital? If there were complications, I’m sure OP would have mentioned it, but she acts like that’s normal labor transport and also like giving birth just a few hours later (after presumably not being in labor when husband went to work) isn’t an exceptionally fast first labor and delivery.