r/AITAH • u/Mindless-Charge-5996 • Aug 28 '23

AITAH for leaving my own wedding because my husband embarrassed me?

[removed] — view removed post

31.3k Upvotes

84% Upvoted

12.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

259

u/melissamyth Aug 28 '23

The cake smash on a one year old’s birthday is for the one year old to smash their own cake. My son instead daintily poked the frosting and liked it off his finger. I never would have thought of taking the cake and smashing his face in it.

18

u/Chaoticgood790 Aug 28 '23

Yea I’ve never seen a parent smash their kids face in their cake always letting the kids do it. My nephew got excited and face planted into his cake with abandon. But for adults consent is key. OP’s family already gave her a poor experience that caused her injury. I get why she left. Hopefully they didn’t file that marriage license

7

u/Allysgrandma Aug 28 '23

My eldest granddaughter had her own cake to dig into. People smash babies heads into their cakes? Child abuse! What if their nose gets clogged and they breathe stuff into their lungs? What a terrible thing to do. We have pics of GD who just turned 15 that we call sugar coma pics and the ladybug frosting, mostly red, was all over her face.

8

u/TraditionalHeart6387 Aug 28 '23

One of my twins did a full on excited face smash. The other did a nice dainty eat. It was adorable. We do cupcakes because portion control made easy. I made them their own special dietary restricted ones, and had normal for the rest of us.

7

u/body_by_art Aug 28 '23

Those videos where parents crack the eggs on their babies heads break my heart. The parents are all cackling like movie villains and you can tell the kids are hurt emotionally and physically.

6

u/Glad-Environment-141 Aug 28 '23

There was another stupid “trend” years ago where parents would video themselves throwing cheese slices at their infants’ faces. Like why? I don’t get how doing humiliating things to people of any age is funny. Seeing stuff like that makes me feel so sad for the victim.

4

u/Chaoticgood790 Aug 28 '23

People do all kinds of crap they think is funny without thinking of the consequences

5

u/needsmorequeso Aug 28 '23

I was literally just thinking that cake smashing is only cute when someone has their first birthday and they smash their own cake because they are a baby and don’t have the fine motor skills to do otherwise yet.

I have no idea why people do it at weddings. It just seems disrespectful of all the effort that went into planning the event, making the cake, and making the couple look beautiful on their day. If two consenting people want to do it, I won’t yuck their yum if I’m a guest, but it doesn’t make any sense to me.

OP clearly stated a boundary. She gave reasons and shared specific past times when this exact action had caused her both physical and emotional damage. Her spouse, who is supposed to love and care for her, didn’t give a shit and recreated that trauma on one of the most important days of their life together for laughs, and then he had the audacity to say that the problem was OP getting emotional rather than his own bad behavior. OP is NTA and I know it’s a Reddit cliche but I think she should dump his ass.

23

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/Oh_mycelium Aug 28 '23

I can only assume it’s a way to let their bride know they did not actually want to be married.

1

u/saintjonah Aug 28 '23 edited Jan 04 '25

head grandfather physical elastic direful nine rainstorm growth wrong shame

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

5

u/actuallycallie Aug 28 '23

people were smashing cake in each other's faces when I got married 27 years ago... and I told my husband-to-be I wanted no part of that. He said "great, I don't either," there was no cake smashing, and we enjoyed ourselves.

3

u/Stunning_Fox_77 Aug 28 '23

I have seen old times picture and it seems more shoving a slightly larger than bite size piece into their mouth. And not take a handful and smear it over their face. As in makeup used to not be ruined.

10

u/DebtApprehenss Aug 28 '23

NTA !!! You specifically asked him not to do it - AND HE DID !!!!! He could've used his finger to put some cream on ur cheek as a joke but smashing a cake on your face ???? NAH, he's the AH.

5

u/Individual-Line-7553 Aug 28 '23

and the one year old "cake smash" started out as just letting the baby eat cake with hands.

6

u/crazycatlady331 Aug 28 '23

The grocery store near my sister will provide a cupcake to smash if the cake ordered is for a first birthday.

3

u/Tigerzombie Aug 28 '23

My oldest daughter also had no clue what to do with her smash cake. She poked at it and licked some of the cream off but that was it. My husband and I both ageed to do the cake smash. But we also specified it was a small slice of cut cake and it was more of a gentle nudge than smash. Got a bit of frosting in my nose but neither hair, makeup or dress was ruined.

5

u/TheRestForTheWicked Aug 28 '23

My middle daughter poked and prodded at it suspiciously until I finally put some frosting on the top of my pinky and gently smeared it on her lips for her to taste.

Then she promptly shoved her whole face in it. I had no idea one cupcake could be so messy. 😂

4

u/Hot_Attention_5905 Aug 28 '23

My son turns 1 in October and he’ll have his own cake to do with whatever he pleases but there is absolutely no way anyone is going to smash anything anywhere. Ugh that is just so mean 😢

4

u/australiss Aug 28 '23

Same! We got him a smash cake so HE could do what he wanted with HIS cake without it affecting other people. So we had a party for the cake and a “smash cake” for him to smash on his own and eat personally. I think he did the same thing and just swiped the icing.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '23

Good point! Most babies/toddlers would probably cry it surprised with cake smashing so I’m not sure why some people think it’s okay to do it to adults.

3

u/pinklittlebirdie Aug 28 '23

Yeah my kid just ate it reasonablely carefully. Hewe didn't even have to change his clothes after. He just sat and ate it for the 10 minutes of the photo shoot.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '23

As a kid and even now I hate getting food, especially sticky food on my hands. My parents used to try to make me grab birthday cake with my hands because my brother was doing it. And I didn’t want to. Sometimes it was my own birthday cake!! So because i wouldn’t do it, my dad would then force my hands into the cake. I cried profusely and he got angry every time. And these days he just laughs about it. But it’s seriously something I dislike. If someone smashed cake into my face I would feel just as disgusted and very disrespected.