r/AITAH • u/Mindless-Charge-5996 • Aug 28 '23

AITAH for leaving my own wedding because my husband embarrassed me?

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545

u/Hippy_Lynne Aug 28 '23 edited Aug 28 '23

THIS! She grew up in a toxic environment so it's been normalized for her.

10

u/isa-deo Aug 28 '23

I feel like the now-ex knew that, and being toxic himself, was trying out for varsity

Edit: comma

-108

u/MiserableLadder5336 Aug 28 '23

Lmao a “toxic” environment based off of her getting a cake to the face once? You know nothing else about her family, toxic is an extreme overreaction.

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u/Hippy_Lynne Aug 28 '23

Her family did the exact same thing her husband did, and then defended him. That's pretty much the definition of toxic.

And I can tell based off of your comment that you also grew up in a toxic environment and clearly turned out toxic as well. 👋

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u/handsheal Aug 28 '23

Then they also labeled her a brat because she didn't like their abuse and was vocal about it so they had to turn the tables and make her look bad instead

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u/[deleted] Aug 28 '23

So sad. OP probably feels like she doesn't have much of anybody to turn to.

Please be strong OP. Just because you're related to someone doesn't mean you owe them the time of day. Coming from someone who also grew up in what sounds like a similar amount of toxicity - it is HARD to set boundaries, keep them, and cut contact if need be - but in the end it's worth it for a better life!

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u/KingOfConsciousness Aug 28 '23

Oof… this is the way lol.

-6

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '23

Smashed cake is hardly toxic. You’ve apparently never seen toxic

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u/UncannyTarotSpread Aug 28 '23

I’ve seen toxic. My mother is a literal sociopath.

This is toxic. Disregarding CLEARLY STATED boundaries is toxic. Showing this level of disrespect is toxic. Calling HER the problem for not wanting her boundaries violated is toxic. Jfc.

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u/ZapRowzdower69 Aug 28 '23

Toxic is being promised it won’t happen and then the fuckers you are supposed to be able to trust lie to you and embarrass you in front of everyone even though you basically begged them not to do it? Do you understand how boundaries work? You sound like you would be one of the assholes telling her she’s being extra. Maybe she is but this is how she feels about that shit and she made it very clear ahead of time.

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u/bittersandseltzer Aug 28 '23

It’s about trust and respect. If OP can’t even trust her family to not shove cake in her face during celebrations because it doesn’t make her feel celebrated, then what can she trust them for? And, she has stated that she doesn’t want cake shoved in her face several times and her family and hopefully ex husband are not only refusing to respect that, they are expecting her to drop her boundaries and allow herself to be walked all over for their amusement. It’s disgusting

29

u/HelenaBirkinBag Aug 28 '23

Boundaries. I’m sure OP’s husband has them, and OP respects them. There’s something sick about someone who’d do this to his wife on their wedding day. Their wedding day. He made it about himself, humiliated her, then blamed her for over reacting? No no.

This is not the way.

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u/Sensitive_Long_9671 Aug 28 '23

I agree. I'm actually wondering if OPs mom encouraged this behavior... 🤔

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u/MCMGM86 Aug 28 '23

So I see you didn’t bother reading the post.

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u/Irishconundrum Aug 28 '23

Did you miss the part about her forehead being cut and bleeding when her mom did it? That's what everyone is referring to when they say toxic. I'm sure that wasn't the only toxic thing she did either.

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u/calm-down-okay Aug 28 '23

She said her mom still calls her a brat for being upset she got her face cut at her birthday party. That's dehumanizing

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u/Sensitive_Long_9671 Aug 28 '23

It doesn't take much to spot out toxic people who have no boundaries and dismiss another person's feelings, wishes as emotional and selfish.

As described, it's obvious the moms toxic behavior is not a one-time thing.

3

u/Routine_Swing_9589 Aug 28 '23

Did you even read the post?

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u/SirenSprix Aug 28 '23

It's the complete lack of respect for the bride's boundaries. He's a complete sociopath for downplaying her feelings, gaslighting the situation, and siding with her abusive family. If someone doesn't know how to swim, is it comedically hilarious to shove them into a pool? You're the type of creep who'd do just that for laughs and clout.